by mayowa O.
SHOCKER: Husband gives Wife public beating
Feb 17, 2012 at 10:45 am in Bloggers, Diary Adventures of LagosMums, Featured, Featured Blogger, General, Lagos by mayowa O.
As the popular saying goes “wonders shall never end”, but I usually like to add “in Lagos”.
I have lived in Lagos almost all my life and despite my fascination about this busy hub and its crazy everyday life; I must admit that not everything about Lagos amuses me.
So on this faithful day, I’m in a public ‘danfo’ bus and everything is going on as usual; passengers keeping to themselves, driver driving recklessly and tapping the horn repeatedly like he was trying to produce a beat for Don-Jazzy; to top that, the conductor aggressively demands the fare but is not ready to give back change. After a couple of minutes of the bumpy ride, the bus stopped to pick a passenger,an event I rarely noticed as I was busy pinging with my hubby and blushing the whole time- then all of a sudden I heard someone give a passenger a slap and when I say dirty, this slap was really dirty.
I looked up and beyond the mounting chaos in the vehicle to see a middle-aged man hitting a new passenger, who happened to be a middle aged lady, on the face several times. The man was outside the bus and he somehow managed to cling to the bus to accomplish his evil deed. Typical of Lagos folks, passengers in the bus started shouting and cursing at the man as the bus ground to a halt. The slapper was now shouting in Yoruba language, “I will kill you, I will kill you’”. The passengers asked him what the lady had done to warrant such treatment and the next thing that ensued gave me the shocker of my life…. the assailant replied, ‘she is my wife”!
Living in Lagos… a land mass of 3,345 kilometers and about 10 million people from different tribes, different backgrounds and with varying levels of sanity… it is expected I suppose that one day I would come across such an outrageous reality. This man is indeed humiliating his wife publicly, demeaning her dignity and all for what reason you will ask? He wants custody of the child!
I might not be fully aware of the state of this couples’ relationship, but with what I have seen and heard from my position on the bus, I do not doubt that this man is not in the right state of mind to mingle with civilized society, how much more take care of a family or single-handedly raise a child? I was enraged no doubt! How can a woman subject herself to such treatment? How does one avoid such treatment? Is this what marriage is about? Is this the real definition of “for better or worse’? Is there no one to protect women such as this lady from such brutality? what is this society turning into, a man beats a woman in the open and nothing happens? So many questions churning in my head…. Can someone please make meaning of this situation because I cant!
Your thoughts, advices, experiences are welcome. Is there ever a reason to justify domestic violence?
contributed by Mayowa
Photo by : Emirates247.com
That is just awful, but our culture can be very chauvanistic – on the whole, domestic violence is not abhorred the way it is in the West. And the same can be send for things like infidelity etc.
Very sad.
Did you really take the danfo bus by the way??? or where you just trying to spice up the story??
Hi Temi!
I believe Nigeria will wake up and say a big and resounding NO to violence and its siblings (tribalism, corruption e.t.c).
About the Danfo bus…. a journalist doesn’t reveal her secrets
Hmm.. Madness!so many mad men around..why start slapping her?
I met a man outside a bank once..he parked behind me and ignored all calls to remove his car so I could drive out. Anyway when he came out I said ( very politely) sir, I have been waiting for a while (or something). His response was to rudely retort ” so what! Is it not the security that asked me to park? Nonsense… I was shocked and told him he was being irresponsible or unreasonable . After that he lurched out and tried to hit me! While reeling insults at me I was in shock!! I too started shouting and asked him to come and beat me. The bank staff had to restrain him and ask him to enter his car and leave. I was livid and I immediately thought of the woman unfortunate enough to be married to such a man. Surely a man who would insult and try to hit a woman he didn’t know would batter his wife.
Sorry for the long comment..but I’m just sad at how so many men vent their frustration n self esteem issues on their wives.
Ps. Thanks for ur comment on my blog
http://www.chiomamom.blogspot.com
Well said! Well said! When I fall into sticky situations like that, I just remind myself that I am better off than anyone who refuses to behave like a qualified member of civil society. So He or she (sadly) ends up realizing their folly.
A lot of people say, If he hits you once, he will do it again and again. May God bless the husbands who have never and will never hit their wives.