Living as Twins

Many women dread the challenges involved in nursing twins. Hence, during pregnancy, some of them usually reject jokes that they would have twins.

“When people hear that you have twins, you definitely will hear several comments from them while others would marvel at how you manage to keep sane. But, when it is your only reality of motherhood, it seems the norm. There were, of course, difficult times to begin with – breast feeding two babies at once could be stressful. Being up most of the night to cope with the never ending cycle of breastfeeding and changing of diapers, and the logistical challenges of two car seats, double pushchair and a house littered with baby equipment,” says Caro Udeme, a mother of twins.

According to her, this all seems a distant memory now and those challenges have been replaced by others. These days, we are searching for schools that will suit two very different personalities, attending activities like swimming and music classes where they are in constant competition and allowing them to reach various milestones like being dry at night or saying their ABC at their own pace. But having twins is such a special gift and when I see the two of them playing amicably or walking hand in hand down the street, I know that I am blessed, as they are.

When you ask each one of them who their best friend is, without hesitation, they would answer “my sister.” That’s not to say that they do not fight like wild animals. Theirs is an intimate relationship that my partner and I will never be part of, nor totally understand. And already, we sometimes feel slightly apart when they are sharing a special moment.

As a mother, I think one of the most important aspects of having twins is being able to count on those around you for support.

Giving birth to, and rearing, multiples, is thrilling, exhausting, expensive, exciting and so much more than words could ever describe. But then, I guess we all as women cope with what God has blessed us with and find the love and energy and strength to handle it.

Study shows that women over the age of 35 have chances of having a multiple birth.

During our growing up days, I and my twin sister used to be very close that my father had to instruct my mum to separate us and stop wearing us same clothes. We could stay with you and be gisting, but you wouldn’t hear what we discuss.

Most times, we do things together, same clothes, same school, and bath same time, etc. Sometimes, we’ve had differences that we could fight but after that we would make up almost immediately, and you would wonder if we really just had a fight.

Well, we were very close while growing up and even still closer now. We could gist from morning till night and night till morning without even knowing where the gist comes from. We wore same type of clothes, same style of hairdo and we do same things because we always loved to do things together. It is still same till now, except that I am foreseeing marriage separating us but there would still be closeness.

I could remember those days when someone looked for her trouble and I would attack the person the same time with her.

We loved same type of food, beans and plantain, but now she loves white rice and plantain while I love plantain and egg. We ate together and still eat together.

In the area of life, I am livelier than her, but she is a bit on the quiet side. I love belonging to social groups more than she does.

I would like to tell you that I am crazier about us wearing same thing, but she isn’t. I always make sure she has what I have.

She is calmer than I, but you can easily understand and predict me more than her. She can be mean at times, but must have really been on her nerves for her to be mean to you. I am on the softer side. She is easy going unlike me, here there is conflict because she over looks things while I get bothered over things. I take things more seriously than she does when it comes to getting what one really wants.

The differences we have are in the area of taking things seriously on my side, but she does not. She is stronger than I am; I must confess because what she can do without feeling the pains, I might do and complain of pains. She is more quiet but not really gentle, I am not quiet but I can be gentle with things, and I am not mean while she is.

I really do love my twin sister so much and she loves me too. She feels guilty when she offends me, but I feel guilty only when I know I was at fault.

Anne Agbaje is a journalist and writer with bias for family oriented articles that cut across different areas of human interest. She also contributes to stories on Consumer Business, Retail Business and the Business life section in BusinessDay newspaper.