Diary of LagosMums | New Understanding of Submission
I have come a long way in understanding what submission and submitting to your husband means. Why it is required and how we are expected to do it. Before I became the New Me (work in progress) and letting go of the old ways, I was you know that self-labeled 90′s girl, I can’t be a fool for a man, why should I submit, I cannot let anyone walk all over me blah blah.
Then I started to read the Bible a little bit more and more and the scripture that says “wives submit to your husbands” The more I read the more I saw (maybe not fully understood) Ephesians 5:22-23 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body”. I will admit it always still ruffled a bit of feathers, I would instinctively shift in my sit.
Then I read on and saw in verse 25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”
So the husbands were meant to do something as well? The demand to submit had been long touted as a law, even used in secular circles, the man is the head, the wive must submit, no questions asked. However if most people read on it says husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church. Now this was a big one, I wondered if not even more difficult than submitting? I mean this is asking husbands to have sacrificial love.
But you know is it really possible for husbands to love like Christ, to love like Christ means he needs certain qualities. Such as being God fearing and having love within him to be able to give Christ like love.
Many women have suggested that she will submit when her husband learns how to love her, like Christ loved the church. But the thing is God did not say love only when and if your husband does certain things. We do have examples where some husbands take this to the extreme and start to “Lord” it over their wives. Acting more like tyrants than husbands. Some wives struggle with husbands asking them to do things that make them uncomfortable, that go against their beliefs or faith, or are in abusive situations (the body is a temple (1 Corithians 6:19) and it is highly dishonourable to God to be beaten or battered).
In reading the message version of the Bible I have gotten further answers to this.
In Colossians 3:18-19 it says “Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master”. (MSG version)
This sheds light on the whole situation, it does not change the requirement to submit to your husband, however it does say (submit) in ways that honor the Master, God. You can easily do the test yourself, are you submitting in things that “Honor” God?
Verse 19 “Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them” (MSG). While this does not remove the requirement of husbands loving their wives, it helps to perhaps make it more practicable by saying that husbands should not take advantage of their wives. A husband should not be a bully, overbearing, insisting on his own way where the wife feels like she is being taken advantage of.
Read further in Ephesians 5:26-28 “Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor– since they’re already “one” in marriage”.
Wow! Husbands are supposed to do all this onto and for the wife, love her, fill her with love, bring out the best in her. I dare say a wife who has a husband who loves her like this will submit (easily) to her husband because she herself is secure in the fact that her submission is to a husband who is godly and in Christ.
So let’s join and pray to submit unto our husbands in ways that honor God and also for husbands who can love us like Christ loves his Church, while bringing out the best in their wives.
See here a great article on the misconceptions of submission