Sex with Fiona
by Tracy Nneka Osokolo
Tracy Nneka Osokolo is the author of “Red Pepper and English Tea” – ANBUKRAFT Award Winner for Best New Fiction. She was a Resident Writer at the London 2012 Olympics Festival at the Southbank Centre.
Okay Mums, help me out here…but how do you ever do “it” with the kids in bed???
Before I had Fiona, I had heard so many stories of couples becoming distant in their emotional lives and gravitating towards a kind of complacency with sex.
I miss the days when I was a new bride and everywhere was a bed! It was such a relief to walk around the kitchen naked and allow myself to enjoy every bit of the once condemned pre-marital sex culture. We had plenty of time for me to climax three or four times, sometimes even as much as 7 highs in a row and then I’d be out of breath. But since Fi came it’s been such a struggle to get my vagina to be the most exciting exploration site, again.
I know Kwaghdoo told me that Hubby won’t notice the difference between the before-baby vagina and the after-baby vagina; but the problem is that there is hardly any platform for him to even notice anything!
Fiona is growing so fast that she no longer cries in her crib like she did two years ago. Then, she would wait for me to hear her from the baby monitor and come to carry her from her room. She would then spend the rest of the night with us while we tried not to wake her with the gyrating bed. Now, she insists on a bed time story per night, and just when I have finished reading to her and I’m finally preparing to shower and slip into the tiger-stripped lingerie which Alero got me as a wedding gift … Fiona knocks on the door with the same phrase we’ve heard since she turned 3: “I can’t sleep”.
I know she’s a child and all, but I’m a woman and I have needs too. I’ve been experiencing the dry season for a very long time and I wish she won’t always want to sleep in between Hubby and I. At least, if she sleeps on the edge of our bed, he can still fiddle with my boobs or pinch my arse; plus I could steal a few kisses when Fiona eventually gets drowsy. But, she chooses the middle spot as protection from “ojuju calabar” – her own way of understanding and interpreting fear.
You would agree with me that there is hardly anything you can do with a man who is two feet away from you. I definitely don’t want her to generate any ideas about sex now, but I want my husband back too. I prefer him as a hubby than as a daddy … So what am I supposed to do now? Wait till she turns 13 and can sleep on her own? !!!!!