As we continue in our A to Z Parenting Tips – in this post we are focusing on how to raise children who have Integrity. As parents we need to understand that having integrity means being true to yourself, that your yes is your yes and that you do the right thing even when no one is watching.
Many times we talk about the word integrity to our Children without really grasping what it really means. If we must as parents teach our children this moral belief, we ourselves must have imbibed it. Integrity is born in the mind and heart of a person. It comes from who you really are as a man or woman, and what you really believe about right and wrong, good and evil. Integrity is not exhibited just in one act of goodness, but in your whole character.
Scenario
Dad was told that his son swore while having a fight with his brother, he decided not to just beat the senselessness out of the Child he decided to have a moral talk with him on INTEGRITY!
Dad: Do you know the meaning of the word you just said?
Son: Yes dad, he looks down ashamed.
Dad: where did you hear it from?
Son: Taiye, a boy in class says it whenever he has a fight with some of the kids.
So the dad went further to have a full discussion with his son, on how as a man, one should not use foul words. His dad said that such an individual will be considered to lack home training. The father further grounded him as punishment. For the boy – Lesson learnt.
Imagine a few days later while taking the children to school, the dad’s car was hit by another driver on the road. The amount of abusive and vulgar words he unleashed on the man, was absolutely shocking, if words could turn to money, he would be able to buy a brand new car!
That day, the father failed the Child. Many parents do not practice what they preach!
Five practical ways to teach your Children Integrity
1. What You say
When you speak, your children need to be able to trust that you will be true to your word. With a mind-set of integrity established, you will find that you’ll be much more likely to speak the truth and follow through with what you have said. This echoes the reality that we need to be careful to let our “yes” be yes and our “no” be no.
2. How You say it
Do you find yourself speaking to your children in a sarcastic or condescending tone of voice? Replace this attitude with a patient demeanour. Once you have developed a mind and heart of integrity, positive actions and words will naturally flow. So hold on to your integrity by honouring your family in the way you talk to them on a daily basis, your children are watching and learning.
3. What You do
Perhaps the most obvious, yet most important, way to teach your children integrity is to lead by example. Children learn best from what you do, not from what you say they should do. Do you ever tell your children to stop texting at the dinner table, only to check emails in the middle of a conversation they are having with you? Start being a model for your children and live a life of integrity that they can follow.
4. How You do it
Look for issues/examples that revolve around integrity and talk about them as they come up in everyday activities: TV shows, news events, situations at home, school, and with friends. Let them learn from real life situations and mistakes as these are some of the best lessons. Teach your children to do everything with excellence from the start, even when no one is watching. Why? Simply because it’s the right thing to do!
5. Have a Resource
Let them know a source or material they can always refer to that helps to remind them on how to behave in different situations. Children learn best from repetition. You can start with Bible passages, the Ten Commandments, find books that teach morality and other values.
