[Tweet “LagosMums to be, get a life before you get a man”]
I actually thought it was me. Maybe it was the way I viewed it or maybe I am biased because I am single.
Someone even said it is because I am jealous of those in a “society approved” relationship that I have strong ideas about the way relationships are in our generation.
But I really am not sorry, neither do I mind any queer reasons thought up by anybody.
I believe I have valid points that have been tested and proven by time and I’m about to share them.
LagosMums to be, get a life before you get a man. Figure yourself out first before you get into a relationship. Love yourself first before you commit to loving someone else.
You have heard these lines a lot abi? You know where this is going to yeah?
No I’m not judging you. I’m actually talking from a wealth of experience. There were times in my life that in my “new year” resolution list, the item that always made the top 2 was “Get into a relationship with my man” and boy did I get into them? The wrongest ones. I had some nerve wrecking heartbreaks and felt that I had so many things wrong with me. I kept trying to change what I thought was wrong. I talked less, wrote less, tried to change my appearance and did stuff I wasn’t comfortable with… but they didn’t cut it.
It was when I found me that he found me. I had to discover who I am, what I stand for, what I am comfortable with, what I can and can’t stand. I had to pursue my own dreams, I had to discover the things that make and keep me happy. It was not until I could define what I stand for and answer the question “Who are you” that I knew I was ready to meet someone else.
I was not bothered by the society’s dictates anymore. I was concerned about finding me, the reason for my existence. Instagram couples didn’t freak me anymore neither did people’s perfect looking pictures. I was happy for those who were happy because they had their better half with them but I didn’t speed up the growing and healing process to fit what was around me.
Was I perfect in these decisions? Of course not. I still had my human moments when I felt I was the strangest girl that existed, I still felt lonely at different points, I still cried at different times especially when I saw others really happy with their own boos and baes. Lol. But growth is painful so the pain was welcome.
You can do same. Let’s stop idolizing what we think love is and get the real picture of what it is. Do not start the journey if you have not counted the cost.
If we have whole ladies, half baked men would run out of business.
Written By : Arike
