I’m sure everyone at some time in their lives have been affected by words whether positively or negatively. The power of words cannot be under-estimated. Wars have been started by seemingly mere words. Broken hearts have been mended by mere words. Hurtful words have changed lives forever. Why then do we think that words don’t affect our children?
The greatest gift God has given to parents is an opportunity to mold success stories out of lives. When my first child was given to me after birth, I was filled with wonder. I just kept on asking: “You mean this child has been growing in me for 40 weeks?” The birth of a child is a miracle. Now to think that the God of the whole universe would entrust that child into my care trusting that this child would turn out right just because I’m his or her mother is humbling.
So you see it is important that if I’m going to do a good job, I need to borrow some tips from the Creator of all things. We know that the earth was empty and shapeless and God spoke the earth to be with words. So, that means I can create things with the words of my mouth; sadly it can be used for either good or evil.
Now what’s this long story for? It’s simple really. Speak the things you want to see into the lives of your children. This is an interesting example. I learnt to compliment my children early in life. So I would tell them they looked nice, or tell my daughter, I loved her hair, tell my son I loved his clothes. I told my son he was handsome and my daughter she was beautiful. Thankfully, I was surrounded by people who were always complimenting them.
The result is I have two confident children who also like to compliment people. My daughter would say to me: ‘Mummy, your dress is very nice.” My son would say “Daddy, I like your shirt. These children have learnt to give out compliments to other people and themselves. This may seem simple and irrelevant but I beg to disagree. I’m beginning to raise children who have a healthy self-esteem and know how to make others feel good. In this case, words spoken have encouraged them.
I’ve also learnt to speak what I want to see. So I bless my children regularly. I declare they are intelligent, kind and God-fearing. I tell them they can solve difficult problems. I tell them they are favoured and will accomplish great things. My husband is even better at it than I am. Every morning, he holds them and just blesses them. There’s so much power in having a father bless and encourage his children. It’s something all fathers must learn to do. Just speak the things you want to see into their lives.
Now, I’m presently on a project with my daughter. This little girl of mine is adorable but very strong willed. Sometimes I really think she’s stronger than me. If I want something from her that she doesn’t want to give, believe me, I have to apply all of my adult energy to get the item from her. When she’s determined to do something, she goes ahead and does it. She’s had more falls and cuts than her older brother. My husband jokingly says that she’s as strong as three men.
But you see, the plan was to have a diva. I don’t mind a strong diva but some calmness is essential and finesse is absolutely necessary, don’t you think so? So I’m presently on a project. I tell her she’s calm, she’s gentle and she’s strong. She likes the “strong part”; she repeats it heartily after me. The “calmness” and the” gentleness” are greeted with “NOs”. I’m not about to give up. I can create with the words of my mouth and I’m determined to do just that.
Children will always be children and sometimes they just do the most ridiculous things. I don’t like to define my child by an act. So instead of saying “you’re a naughty girl, I prefer to say that was a naughty thing to do. Instead of saying you’re foolish, you can say that was a foolish thing to do. The aim is to deal with the act and not label the child.
Words are more powerful than we think. In them lies the power to create, build, tear down or destroy. So why don’t you choose to build and create with me? You can create strong, patient, wholesome children. You can create children who have a strong sense of self-worth. You can create gentlemen and ladies who act right and respond appropriately to situations.
You have a powerful tool in your hands. Use it wisely
Contributed by Sola Agudah
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