LagosMums interviews parenting and lifestyle blogger and author, Amaka Benson.
- Please introduce yourself
My name is Amaka Benson. I am a wife, mother, energy economist, mummy-blogger and more recently writer of Micah’s Meals, a baby food cookbook.
- Can you tell us about your beautiful family?
I have a wonderful, loving and supportive husband, Yomi. Yomi and I have been blessed with two beautiful children, Micah and Eliana. Our son Micah, is 2 years and 8 months. He is strong-willed but sensitive and a little foodie. Our daughter Eliana is 3 months old and she is a very happy and gentle baby. There are so many words I could use to describe my husband and babies, but I will stop there.
- How has being a mum of two been different?
Before I had Micah I already knew the type of mother I wanted to be and how I wanted to raise him. When I had
Micah, I quickly became comfortable in my role as his mother. But when I found out I was expecting again, so many parenting fears crossed my mind.
How would I cope with two children? How would I find the right balance between not losing myself, being a wife, a mama of two, my career and taking care of my home etc? The more I felt my baby girl move, the more I felt connected to her and I was reassured that God’s love and grace were all I would need for my family and her! I did my best to prepare Micah for the arrival of his sister. From day one I started talking to him about the baby – he even approved when choosing her names.
I am so thankful, that there was such an instant bond between Micah and his sister and I am blown away with the graciousness of God and His great love for my family.
Being a mum of two, I realise that I have to parent each child differently as no two children are the same. Micah and Eliana have unique personalities, which I take into consideration when parenting but there are basic similar foundations like their routines, structures, boundaries and limits which I do with both children.
I remember returning home a week after my caesarean section and feeling overwhelmed. I had to nurse and care for my new-born and still cater to my two-year-old who didn’t expect and didn’t necessarily understand the drastic changes. I was overwhelmed! I am thankful to God for seeing me through this transitional stage.
To be honest, some days are better than others and I accept that I will never think I have done enough, will never think I have thought of my babies enough, prayed for them enough, nurtured them enough, trained and taught them enough, listened to them enough, spent time with them enough. But this I know… I am committed to parenting to the best of my abilities and I will always, always, always love my babies.
[Tweet “I am committed to parenting to the best of my abilities and I will always, always, always love my babies.”]
The beautiful thing is, I don’t have to do this alone (being thankful for their Papa, extended family and our dear friends). I have to trust God! The best thing I can do as Micah and Eliana’s mama is be obedient to God. God’s job is everything else.
- What do your kids’ names mean?
As a result of our journey to parenthood, Biblical women waiting to conceive who prayed and had faith in God inspired me. Through God they overcame adversity and gave birth to healthy children, sons, many of whom grew up to become powerful, influential men of God. We decided to name our son after a prophet in the bible, as a reminder to him and everyone else that God is calling him, like his Christian namesake, to holiness and heaven. We prayed over his names and his destiny and then we named our son…..
“Oluwademilade Micah Tochuckwu Benson”
Oluwademilade means “God crowned me”. Micah means “Who is like God?” Micah’s conception, his birth, his life and his destiny is proof that there is no one like God. Nobody comes close. God is the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. There is only one God. Tochuckwu means “Praise God”.
With our daughter, where do I start? I have always wanted a baby girl. I know it sounds weird but if I can laugh and gist with my guardian father on earth and if I can ask him for anything, then why can’t I do the same with my Father in Heaven.
I remember before we started trying for a second baby, I would always pray to God for a baby girl. In fact, I asked all my little nieces to touch my belly and pray for aunty Amaka to have a healthy, beautiful baby girl. My husband wanted our daughter to have the same initials as her brother but I wasn’t too keen on that idea. Plus, it didn’t help that I couldn’t find any “M” names with the right meaning. I remember early one morning in February, I woke up around 4am and I was drawn to the name Eliana. I checked the meaning of the name and it reaffirmed my decision. In the morning I told my husband about the name and he loved it. I told Micah and smiled while repeating the name.
We had a name! By that afternoon, Micah was referring to my bump as Eliana.
I already knew Eliana’s Yoruba name before she was conceived. It’s a name with such a powerful meaning and it is already in the family. We consulted with his maternal grandma and decided on the name. Her Igbo name is another beautiful name with a powerful meaning.
After praying over her names and her destiny, we named our daughter:
“Oluwafadekemi Eliana Kairaluchukwu Benson”
Oluwafadekemi means “GOD has used a crown to give me joy/comfort me”. Eliana means “My God answered”. Eliana is a name that sounds beautiful but, more importantly, has a meaning that suits the fact that she is a wish granted, a prayer answered, a miracle and a blessing. I look at our daughter and see God’s favour in my family. Kairaluchukwu means “Let’s choose God”.
- How long have you been married? How did you meet?
I have been married to Yomi for 4 years and 4 months. I met him in November 2007 in NNPC, Abuja while I was working with the then Minister of Petroleum. Our first encounter was forgettable to say the least and it was the wrong time for us, but love found a way.
- Whats your profession/career? Makyscorner
My first degree is in Chemical Engineering from the University College London. I decided to take some time off between my BEng and Masters to get more work experience.
During that time I worked as a technical assistant to the Senior Technical Adviser at the ministry of petroleum. After my experience I decided to change my career path. Instead of returning for an MEng in Chemical Engineering, I decided on an M.Sc. in Energy Studies with a specialisation in Energy Economics at the Centre for Energy, Petroleum and Mineral Law and Policy.
Following that, I worked as an Energy Economist for an independent oil and gas consulting firm in London until I decided to move to Geneva to be with my husband. In 2011 I started a natural hair and beauty business, A2 hair and
beauty boutique in Abuja. In 2014, I started the lifestyle and parenting blog, Makys Corner and I am about to publish my first baby/toddler cookbook, Micah’s Meals.
- Did you always know you would do this?
Working as an energy economist – yes! Running a lifestyle and parenting blog and publishing a baby/toddler cookbook – No! If someone told me 5 years ago that I would be running a blog very much centered on faith, pregnancy, motherhood and family, I would have laughed in their face. But becoming a mother, especially after experiencing difficulties, drastically changed my perspective on so many things and I have slowly discovered a new passion in life.
- What has surprised you most about motherhood?
[Tweet “Motherhood comes with so many surprises. Some funny, some great, some not-so-great, some enlightening, and some humbling.”]
Motherhood comes with so many surprises. Some funny, some great, some not-so-great, some enlightening, and some humbling. What has surprised me the most though is how much becoming a mother has made me strive to become a better person. I think this really started from the pregnancy stage.
I just wanted to be a better Christian, a better wife, a better sister and a better friend. I am so aware that I am my children’s first teacher and role model and that my kids are learning from me even when I don’t think they are paying attention.
So, no matter how much I try to “teach” my children, I am the greatest example to Micah and Eliana and this
knowledge forces me to think before I act or speak. Micah and Eliana will grow and I’ll have to let them spread their wings like God intended. Since God has trusted me with the sacred duty of raising them, my prayer is that I will have have done enough as a mother to raise them into productive, kind, empathetic, inspired, strong and God-fearing individuals.
I try to live my life in a way that exemplifies these qualities though I am not always successful, of course. In fact, I probably fail more than I know, but what has surprised me is how important setting a good example has been. By doing this for them, not only do I become a better mother as I go along, I also become a better everything.
- What roles (or hats) do you need to balance? How do you balance it all?
Quite a few, but the roles I consider most important in my life are my roles as a wife and mother, especially my role of raising our kids (wholesome and well rounded) through their vital foundation years.
I try to be superwoman some days but I am honestly still learning to “balance” my ambition with my roles and responsibilities as a wife and mother. Ultimately I am a work in progress, subject to continual reflection and reassessment.
One thing I try not to do is compare my situation with others’. I also trust my gut instincts and my own my decisions as a wife and mother. Most importantly, whatever I do, I do the best I can and I commit it to the Lord in prayer.
The Bible says “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” So for me balancing is learning about how best to manage my time and the opportunities God provides and blesses me with.
- What support system do you have?
This is one area I struggle with as we live far away from our family and loved ones. We have family visit from time to time but it’s usually only for a few days or a week. They say ”when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. So knowing that I don’t have extra hands as and when I need help – you know, I can’t call my mum to come over or my sisters to help out – has helped make me better organised and efficient.
- How has your family spent their summer?
We knew we were having a summer baby, so we didn’t make any specific travel plans for the summer. We are spending time bonding as a family, enjoying our new addition to our family, adjusting to being a family of four, discovering our city, BBQ on the weekends, hosting friends and family and taking road trips to neighbouring countries.
After the Summer, my husband and I will make time for a long weekend…without the kids.
- Do you think raising children today is much different from before? How?
Oh yes without a doubt. First of all, back in the day our parents had so many children. I think they could do that more easily back then because they had so many extra pairs of hands, usually family.
My mother raised eight children and she always says she was blessed to have family around to assist her. Things are different now and I don’t expect my sisters or my family to move in with me full time to help me raise my children. Everyone has their life to live. Also, technology has changed a lot.
I am very cautious about what I expose my children to and I want them to enjoy being children so I try to limit their exposure to technology. Kids are naturally curious and love exploringso I let my son do that. For now though we have limited his use of iPads (he doesn’t own one) and the television. To be honest, he would much rather go looking for bugs, visiting the museum or walking to the park for a play-date than watching TV. I know a time will come for him to own an iPad and the likes but not right now.
- How do you relax? Do you get to spend ‘me time’?
I love to do a couple of things. I like to listen to gospel music and reflect on life (yes, it’s relaxing for me). I also love reading motivational/inspirational books – for my Christian life, family, marriage and parenting.
Other times I love going to the spa to get pampered, get my hair done, have facials etc. things that make me feel and look good. I also love shopping, who doesn’t? and sometimes shopping with kids can be tough – they just don’t have the patience for it, lol.
- What do you believe should not be missing from every home?
I am sorry but I can’t pick one thing. Love, laughter, joy, forgiveness, faith, hope, patience, respect, responsibility, humility, gratitude and generosity.
- What do you think makes LagosMums special?
I am always in awe when I visit your site. I am like how does she do it. Where does she find the time? One thing that makes Lagosmum special is the positive energy of its brand.
Whenever I visit your website or view your Instagram posts, I am inspired to do better, to be a better parent. In these days where there is a lot of negativity in the media it’s great to see a brand spreading so much positivity.
- What are some tips for mums who want to use social media to grow their brands or businesses?
[Tweet “If you want to use social media to grow your brand, choose a social media platform that supports your brand image.”]
First of all, you have to choose a social media platform that supports your brand image. I like Instagram, for others it might be Facebook or Twitter.
If it’s a personal brand, then I suggest providing valuable and shareable content for your viewers/followers/readers. Finally, just be you! You are unique and you are special.
- Please share any other advice for mums?
Always trust your gut instincts and own your decisions even if you are a first time Mama!
[Tweet “”Always trust your gut instincts and own your decisions even if you are a first time Mama!” – Amaka Benson”]
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