We might think that the pressure to be cool and to look good does not affect children. Recent research from the University of Sussex psychologists suggests that the pressure to be cool and look good does affect children and is actually bad for them.
The world we live in is a world of having more, looking good by wearing the right clothes and having the right gadgets. Social media is chug full with pictures of people having fun and looking flawless. The Internet and media are full of new products launched and tagged as the must have new gadget. Adults are affected by this “more, more, more” culture and it is definitely trickling down to our youth and children.
According to the researchers, while talking to young people aged 8 – 14 they found out that this age group thought that the way to be liked included having cool stuff and looking good. The alarming thing is that children who grow up with this mentality will always feel that they are judged by what they have and not by who they are. If not managed properly this leads to a sense of insecurity. This can ultimately lead to an attitude of always looking for more things and seeking approval from all the wrong places and people.
This consumer culture is wide spread and is focused on selling goods to the consumer and encouraging the consumers to spend money.
From very young, children are targeted by advertising and media with messages about who is ‘cool’ and what is beautiful. According to these messages, having the ‘right’ things and looking the ‘right’ way are linked with a positive identity, relationships, and high social status. In reality when children focus on this, it leads to materialism.
How can Parents help?
Since it is widespread, parents need to be aware and help their children from being swept away by the consumer culture and materialism. One of the most effective ways is by avoiding the trap of rewarding children with material goods.
Raising Materialistic Children
Research shows that there are some parenting strategies that can lead to a child being materialistic:
1) rewarding a child’s accomplishment by giving her a gift (excessively)
2) showing affection by giving material items (replacing other forms of affection such as spending time)
3) punishing a child by taking away one of her possessions, like a favourite toy (this in itself is not discipline)
Children who receive excessive material rewards from their parents will likely continue rewarding themselves with material goods when they become adults. Where parents replace spending time with providing material goods, the children grow up placing more value on material goods than is healthy. [Read: Saving Our Children From Affluenza]
There is nothing wrong with giving your children material goods, but the key is that they realise that they are just things. More important is that children are taught to have an attitude of gratitude. They should also be grateful for the things they do have. Materialistic people many times are not truly grateful for the things in their lives, they simply want more and are busy focused on how they measure up.
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The pressure from the world and media to have more and to keep amassing is not going anywhere in a hurry. The job of raising children who are not swept away by the consumer culture lies with the parents (and the adults in their lives). If we teach them that there are more important things in life than material goods, they will grow up with this mindset.
However it starts with us at home – do not celebrate people for what they have over what good they do.
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