Parenting, motherhood, and family are central to everything Tonye Faloughi-Ekezie stands for. As the founder and managing director of Simone’s Oasis, Tonye has seamlessly blended her roles as a wife, mother, author, and advocate into a life of purpose. Her journey is one of courage, creativity, and an unwavering commitment to making a difference—especially for special needs families. In this exclusive interview, she shares her inspiring story, her parenting philosophy, and the lessons she has learned along the way.
We Know You Juggle a Million and One Hats—Can You Tell Us About Some of Them?
“Everything really stems from my personal life, especially my role as wife and my role as mother. What I do now is directly as a result of being a wife and a mother. Everything is driven by that. Everything I do is usually directly because there’s a need in our own household and as a family, there’s a need that either one of my children may have.
Then I have the hat of an author, which I never expected to be, but it’s because, you know, we had a need. And I guess my producer hat was still there under the surface. My background is in TV and film production, so I guess that producer hat kind of has come back into play with the advocacy and how we advocate through content and creative content.
Yeah. And the funny thing now, the most unexpected hat that I wear now is as a speaker. You know, considering my biggest fear has always been public speaking, and it’s not been a light fear, it’s one which has physical manifestations, in terms of the shakes, vomiting, sweating, breaking out in hives. So it amazes me now that part of what I do is public speaking, whether it’s breakout sessions, creative workshops, sitting on a panel, or being a keynote speaker.
But I feel so strongly about the importance of sharing my experience, of raising awareness and advocacy that I continue to face this fear on the mission. The purpose is far more important than my fear. That’s how I really feel about it. I’ve realized that you don’t have to be perfect to make a difference, and to be honest, perfection is boring.”
Share One Unexpected Thing About You
“Well, I think in my previous question, I kind of hit that, which was on the public speaking, because people always think I’m really good at public speaking, or that it’s something that comes naturally to me, and when I share that it’s not, they’re always so shocked and surprised, which always makes me laugh. But I’m like, don’t you people know?”
What Makes Your Family Tick?
“We are really a loving, open, God-fearing family. We believe in speaking up, sharing what’s on our minds, supporting one another, but also calling each other out when we’re wrong. I mean, even my son calls me out. I think it’s very important that children feel that they have their stakeholds in the family, and have a voice in the family. So we encourage them to speak up, say their mind.
Our daughter Simone, she has Down syndrome with autistic traits. She’s nine now, and our son, Hugo, is 11. My husband is my best friend. I married my best friend. Neither of us are romantic, so it works really well. I don’t really have a romantic bone, and neither does he. So we are just a really, really good fit. And we’ve been married for 13 years. In January, it would have been 13 years.
The best decision I could have made was to marry my friend, especially when we were fighting for Simone’s life. You know, it’s that foundation of friendship that has solidly carried us through these 13 years, and I pray it will carry us through for another, you know, 30, 40, 50 years of the time that God gives us.”
Tell Us About Meeting Your Husband
“I met my husband back in the day in Lekki when the petrol station used to have the Tantalizers there. The Tantalizers was like the meeting hub for estate agents, and I was looking for a place to stay, and he was in the line next to me waiting to order food as well. And we just struck up a conversation from there. And from that point, we became very, very good friends. We were friends for about one full year before we actually started dating.
Yeah. And I think doing that was really a great decision because we really got to know each other as friends first before I initiated—not him—the romantic elements.”
What’s the Funniest Thing Your Child Has Said?
“When my son was a baby, and it’s something we still laugh about now, even though technically he can’t remember it because I—you know, we talked about when they were kids and younger—I mean, they’re still kids obviously, but when they were younger and how I’ve spent so many years cleaning up pee and poop and vomit.
But that’s when he was a baby, when I was changing his nappy and opened the nappy. Of course, you know boys, now, you open the nappy, they start peeing, but he peed in his own face and he gave himself the shock of his life. So it is something that’s kind of like a running joke in our household and always gives us a giggle, even though technically he can’t remember it, he always brings it up.”
What’s Your Approach to Parenting?
“Parenting styles? Oh, you guys, you wanna start trouble? Well, our parenting styles are very different. My husband is very much more manly in his parenting style. More old-school in his parenting style as in firm and authoritative—disciplining with words. We both don’t believe in physical discipline in terms of spanking or anything like that. That’s not what we do in our household.
My style is very much hands-on and interactive. I want to hear them out. I want to discuss things through. I want them to understand my point of view, and I want to understand theirs. I want open dialogue. However, they need to understand that we are not friends. I’m their mother, not their friend. It’s not my role to be their friend.
So when things are challenging and when they’re pushing back, they need to understand that at the end of the day, I’m their mother and they need to attend to what I’m telling them. But they have an avenue to voice their opinion. It’s a fine line to walk, and it becomes a bit difficult at times. Sometimes I need my husband to step in and be that authority and say, ‘Hey, you know, you’re gonna do this.’ But because I want them to grow and self-regulate their emotions, it’s important they feel heard and understood.”
Take Charge of Your Day: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents
How Are You Preparing Your Children for an Ever-Changing World?
“I think what I’ve learned about preparing kids to thrive is to create an environment where they feel free to express themselves, free to explore different things in a safe environment, and to, you know, above all things, children need love. They need love and a safe environment where they can explore and voice their opinions and ideas.”
Why Do You Love LagosMums?
“What I love about LagosMums is the whole community. There’s always so much information. Whatever you need, you’ll be able to find it. And I think I just love how open and unjudgmental the platform is, and it just feels full of positivity—something we need more of in today’s world.”
Trivia Fun
1 million hours of sleep or more sleep? Definitely more sleep. That’s not even hard.
Shopping spree or an all-expense paid trip to your dream destination? Definitely the trip because I absolutely hate shopping. If you want to torture me, send me shopping.
Homeschooling or traditional school? A mix of both, but I think homeschooling is probably better than traditional schooling. We use a combination of the two that works best for us.
Spa day or eat out? A spa day for sure, because I need one right now. Help me!
Loved Tonye’s story and want more inspiration? Explore other incredible Mum of the Month features on LagosMums and connect with like-minded parents! Discover stories, tips, and resources to empower your parenting journey.