It should be a reality for mothers to do it all in their motherhood journey; so how do we do it all? Depending on who you ask, it is a myth or a fact. So we want to demystify, having it all, doing it all, wearing all our various hats, and balancing them on our head. We discussed this in an Abundant Living for Mums Series; in a conversation with Tomi Rotimi, as she shares her perspective on being a wife, mum, entrepreneur, fitness enthusiast, and recently an Author. It was a pleasure having her.
Here are some highlights of the conversation with Tomi.
Embracing the Seasons
It’s so important that we embrace the different seasons in our lives. And as we explore the different gifts, talents, roles, and ambitions that we have; we need to accept that some roles will be front and center at a particular time in our lives; and we shouldn’t pressure ourselves, to add other things at that time.
Another thing that is so important is it’s not so much about doing it all. I’m not about just being busy for the sake of being busy. I think it’s becoming all you can and all you are, it’s more about ‘being’ than ‘doing’; so we need to understand that we are just exploring, and it’s a journey of self-discovery and self-awareness. If we appreciate the fact that we are exploring who we are, our talents, then it’s a journey. It’s not somewhere you just simply snap your fingers that ‘This is it’. So if you see that as a journey to self-discovery, not a journey to monetize every talent you have, then you will put yourself in a place of fun, and you’ll have fun exploring.
How you Juggle your Roles
We asked Tomi how she juggles things and how she goes through seasons; being a mum, a wife, a business owner and so much more, here are the points she gave…
Have a Support System
There’s something on your profile page that says it takes an e-village, and I think that summarizes it all; it takes a village. And I think, once I accept what I’m good at, and embrace it, it’s easier to empower my vision or my role, by delegating some other things that I’m not particularly good at; that’s empowering myself, my gifts, my role, everything. So one big thing that I’ve done is, for every project, for every role, I have a support system. I’m not even trying to be Superwoman, it’s not even my thing. Some people, got that locked down, but I’m not Superwoman; I have people that helped me, lots of people, and I give them kudos because, without them, I couldn’t do any of the things that I do.
For anybody who is trying to be more efficient, that’s something you have to accept; you have to have a support system, you have to have the people skills to also, manage your support system.
Another big thing for me is I’m really, really big on pacing myself, that is huge; this race is my race, I’m not running any other person’s race, I’m doing my thing. So it may take me longer than others, that is fine, it may take me shorter than others, that is also fine; so, pacing yourself is important to know that, this particular thing you want to do right now, might not be a money-making venture at this particular season of your life; it’s just for you to nurture it, do that. Have your vision for different roles, but understand that even your vision will change, it will evolve; so don’t put that pressure on yourself. Pacing yourself, not comparing yourself with anybody else, is super important.
Understand that whatever vision you have, is God-given, and it will be God-enabled as well. So you have to be connected to that source; for me, at every point, I’m always asking, “What are you saying, God? Is there an easier way? What’s the strategy? How can I do this?”; I’m asking those questions constantly.
Finally, I think one thing that people don’t like to hear, but is super important and is big for me is I embrace mistakes. In fact, I anticipate mistakes, I’m old enough now to know that they will come; no matter how much I plan or study, if I’m starting something new, it will happen; there is a learning curve. Mistakes don’t say to me, “that’s it, you made this error, drop it, don’t do it anymore, it’s not your thing”, No! Mistakes say to me, “okay, now I know another way not to do it, now I’m learning, if I do it again, I’ll probably do it better”. And the most powerful thing about mistakes is, “now I can teach somebody else”.
Read Also [How to Help your Child Learn from Mistakes]
And because I now understand the role of mistakes in my growth, I embrace it; as I said, I will look forward to it. So if you take all these on, then back to our first point, it’s a journey of self-discovery; with all the highs and the lows, the mistakes, all the big wins, and the small wins.
We really enjoyed talking with her. Watch the full replay of the conversation on LagosMums IGTV here.
Read Also [Motherhood and Marriage: Myths vs. Realities]
Hi, Expectant and New Parents!! Welcome to the LagosMums community, the largest community for mums, dads, and caregivers! Kindly let us know if you are expecting or are new parents as we have some amazing tips, events, and gifts planned for you! Click HERE to register!