Ivie Okwuegbuna is our LagosMums mum of the month, a devoted mother, seasoned educator, and passionate advocate for inclusive education and mental wellness. As the founder of Learning Generation and Get Our Children Off the Street, Ivie Okwuegbuna is changing the narrative for SEND children and families through her commitment to education, wellness, and purpose.
Please tell us about yourself. Can you share more about all the hats you wear?
My name is Ivie Okwuegbuna. I am a wife, a devoted mother of two; a children’s author, a leader in education, a passionate advocate for inclusion and mental health, and a family wellness advocate.
Can you share more about all the hats you wear?
I am first and foremost a teacher, and also the founder of Learning Generation, dedicated to all things education. It is support for SEND parents, teachers, and the community. Additionally, it provides valuable ideas for work experience and applications to independent schools and universities.
I am also dedicated to helping vulnerable children get off the street during the holidays. It is about making the best use of the holidays by visiting places of interest, linking with mentors and role models, and experiencing workplaces for the future. The children I work with have visited Cambridge University, Banks in Canary Wharf, 5-star Micheline restaurants, and listened to inspirational role models.
Share one unexpected thing about you
I love to dance. You can always catch me dancing wherever I am. I am not a ‘world-class dancer’, but I sure know how to move sometimes. Apart from dancing, I love cooking. During the pandemic, one of my hobbies was cooking a variety of exotic dishes.
Tell us about your beautiful family
I am married to Clement, the love of my life. We have two adult children: a son and our “aunty” (pet name) for our daughter.
How did you meet your husband, and how long have you been married?
I met my husband when I went to pick up my employment letter at the Corona Schools Trust Council’s head office, and the pursuit began, although I was unaware of it at first. I have always said teaching is the best job in the world because it brought my husband to me. We have been married for twenty-two years.
Do you and your spouse have the same parenting style?
Hmm, we have the same values, so we usually arrive at the same result when we were bringing up the children. However, we had different parenting styles when they were younger. I was the militant one, and my husband was the calm one.
Can you tell us one of the funniest things your child(ren) has done?
Well, I wouldn’t say funniest, more like scariest when we lost my son at the airport in Turkey.
We had an early flight back home, so everyone was still tired. We all wandered into the duty-free and separated into our favourite shops. 30 minutes later, we all gathered together, but my son was not with us. I walked back to where my husband was and asked, ‘Have you seen him?’ No was his reply. I thought, well, we all came through immigration, so he must be here somewhere.
Panic set in after twenty minutes, and he still hadn’t found anything. We called his phone, which went straight to voicemail. My daughter and I were already crying. Trust the Najia mum in me, I was jumping up and down, crying, praying, etc. I am like, but he is too big to be kidnapped now inside the airport. I then thought,’Ivie, every time this boy went missing as a child, where would you always find him?’ Alas, I found my son fast asleep by the food court. The way I screamed his name in relief, eh. During the flight home, I made him sit between my daughter and me.
What has motherhood taught you about yourself?
Every child is not the same. What will work for one child may or may not work for the other child. I had to learn to be patient and depend on God 100%. My past experiences restructured how I thought and manage my expectations.
Every child is not the same. What will work for one child may or may not work for the other child. I had to learn to be patient and depend on God 100%. My past experiences restructured how I thought and manage my expectations. Share on X
What have you learned about preparing children to thrive in the future?
You have to let their gifts shine. You have to pick up on what they are good at quickly and promote it. It will be challenging sometimes, but let that gift develop. You also never stop chasing them and reminding them. Helping them to plan and structure their gifts and ideas is another thing I’ve constantly done with my children. They didn’t always like it, but I had to teach them how to dream big, but also know it would be hard work to do that. That would only come from planning and fitting it into a monthly or yearly plan. I still have the piece of paper where they wrote where they wanted to work in the future. Started writing their CVs at the age of 9 and 11 years old and have taught them to be intentional about everything they do.
What are some ways that children and parenting are different from when you were growing up and now?
You have to allow the children to speak their minds. Gone are the days when children were seen and not heard. Now they are seen and heard. We have family discussions, and they promptly say, “Mum, Dad, we need to talk. TV off and phones off.”
When I nag and say “you should be grateful for the kind of parents you have who work so hard to give you this lifestyle” They will reply me, saying that I too should be grateful for the kind of good children I have who do not cause me to worry and they are not into bad stuff. ‘See my friends do all sorts of things. ‘
I remember my nephew once asking, “Is this how you guys talk?” It was during a family holiday. We had started a discussion, and I dozed off. When I woke up five hours later, they were still going strong. In our family, we make it a point to be open in front of the children. We want them to see that relationships take work, that we are not perfect, and that emotions are not something to hide. It keeps the door open for honest conversations about how we feel.
There are moments, though, when I find myself wanting to retreat. I’ve caught myself going quiet and turning away. But in a small family of four, there’s really no place to hide when something needs to be worked through. Last December was a perfect example. I felt like I was on the hot seat for days, with no escape. But in the end, those hard conversations bring us closer.
Use one word to describe one thing that should not be missing from every home.
Prayers.
We have been praying first as husband and wife (before the children came), and then all four of us pray together every weekday, even now, when the children have been through boarding school and university. It’s the best way we’ve adopted to start our day. We take everything to God in prayer. A levels, university choices. Even the disappointments.
How important is a support system for a mum? Who is in your tribe, and what kind of support do you have?
I strongly believe in my saying, ‘don’t kill yourself being super superwoman’.
Seek help and support others!
Anyone who knows me knows I have had the same food caterer for 14 years. Mrs. Okunu is the best. Her stew and efo is a solid 10/10! I’ve also introduced other mums to this way of life. My sisters in Nigeria support me around the clock. When I’m about to burst, they tell me, “It’s ok.” I also have a circle of friends I run to, we call ourselves the gangster mums. When I tell them I’m finding something challenging, one (or more) will always offer a solution.
I also make it a point to learn from mums who have walked this path ahead of me. I have a friend who teaches me about investments, one for fashion, one for prayer, one for navigating the children’s future, one for planning, one for professional advice, and one who strengthens my spiritual life.
And I must give credit where it’s due, my bosses, both my immediate and overall boss at work, have been wonderfully supportive. They allow me to show up as myself.
How are you raising your children to be ready for an ever-changing world?
Well, they are adults now and coping, so my job is done.
I am only joking. I keep explaining this to them and provide examples of different things I have gone through, so they understand that in the workplace (or the wider world), they will meet all kinds of people from various backgrounds. They must always be polite, try their best, pray about everything, and take a gift if they are visiting someone’s home. I often say Listen to the Holy Spirit and pray to God for discernment. I always used to pray that they find God on their own and have their own experience. My favourite saying is “You know you cannot disgrace me outside?”
How do you balance work and parenting? Is it possible to achieve this?
Yes, with support. As a teacher, I could never go on school trips or go to assemblies, so that was hubby’s department. However, I did take them to school on their first day of the new academic year. I also had the luxury of all the school holidays, and that’s when I did special things with them. I took them to see landmarks and museums during the holidays.
I remember one moment vividly. I was teaching my Year 2 class and asked if anyone had ever been to the seaside. Only two children raised their hands. That stopped me in my tracks as I realised I hadn’t taken my children either. That same day, I booked a budget hotel, and off we went for an overnight stay by the seaside. It was 2009, and they were just 3 and 5 years old. We explored a new area and made memories I’ll always treasure.
I’ve always taught my children that play is play and work is work. During exam seasons, whether it was 11+, independent school exams, GCSEs, or A-levels, we treated it as a focused time. Fun could wait. But we supported each other through every challenge, whether it was their school exams or professional exams that my husband or I were preparing for.
Work for me runs Monday through Friday. Weekends are reserved for pursuing my passion: helping others. I spend a lot of time on the phone speaking with parents from around the world. Often, it’s about navigating special needs and finding the right schools for their children. More recently, I’ve been assisting families with the process of enrolling their children in private schools in the UK.
What do you love the most about your work and all the many expressions of your purpose and passion?
I love everything about education. It’s in my blood, I live it, breathe it, and can talk about it endlessly. Sometimes I’m not even asked, but I’ll still dive in: Have you done this or that with your child? What’s the plan for secondary school? Are you moving? You know the cut-off mark in the catchment area is lower…
I know I can be a bit much at times. I truly can’t help myself. My job and my passion are one and the same, so it spills over into everything I do. Just last week, I came across a video of a 5-year-old from my school singing with his parents. Before I knew it, I was suggesting that he could apply for a music scholarship. And, of course, Mrs. O sprang into action.
Share with us what you love most about your work as a Special Needs Education Coordinator.
I am passionate about my community in the UK. I always say my people perish for their lack of knowledge. Because I work in this sector, I can break things down and explain them to parents. I have helped parents fill out numerous Education Health Care Plan forms, advising them on whether to revisit the SENCOs or the school to discuss what the child should be receiving. Bringing hope and joy to families brings me peace and fulfillment.
Speaking about special needs to other professionals gives me a buzz. I invite policymakers and captains of industry to visit my school to see the challenges and the struggles. But we work hard and make the best of it. Most teachers and even some families have so many questions, but never come out to ask. I also wrote a book, “Superpowers,” so people could see that children with special needs all had hidden powers. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel.
What inspired you to venture into being a Special Needs Education Coordinator?
I was just inquisitive. I wanted to know, plus I had a boy in my class who had social, emotional, and mental health needs, and I used to think, how can I help this boy when I don’t even know what the barrier is?
So, I boldly walked up to my boss and asked if I could be put on the course. I have always been eager to learn and discover. I am a firm believer that if you don’t ask, you will not get.
Anytime I visit another country, I also want to visit the schools. How are they getting it right? What can I learn from this setting?
Additionally, I once received a grant from an organization to spend time in schools in America, learning alongside staff in their settings and gaining more knowledge to enhance my current practice.
Can you share what surprised you the most about starting your 1st job as Special Needs Education Coordinator?
My first thought was Who sent you? You have bitten more than you can chew. But this is my 28th year as a teacher and 15 years as a SENCo and a school leader. I couldn’t do anything else.
What would you advise a new teacher just starting out?
As a new teacher starting out, I would say – give it your best shot, and your reward will glow when you see the progress from the children. Continue learning and applying what you’ve learned into practice.
Share Your Journey as an Academic Support Specialist
I was born and raised on the campus of the University of Lagos, so education has been woven into my life from the start. I completed most of my schooling there, from nursery through to university and postgraduate studies.
Later, I earned my master’s in Education (School Improvement and School Effectiveness) from University College London, followed by a national qualification as a Special Needs Coordinator. I wanted to deepen my expertise even further, so I pursued a postgraduate diploma in Autism from Sheffield Hallam University. I didn’t want to be just another teacher, I wanted to specialise in something meaningful, and Autism felt like the right path.
I also completed a leadership course in School Leadership and Management at Harvard Graduate School of Education. Most recently, I was inducted as a Fellow of the Chartered College of Teaching, which was a proud milestone.
My greatest inspiration comes from my parents. My father, an emeritus professor of Chemistry, inspired me to pursue teaching — I knew by the age of 10 that this was what I wanted to do. My mother, a remarkable woman who raised six children while running a successful business, showed me the power of resilience and unwavering support. She went to great lengths to ensure we all had the best opportunities.
My greatest inspiration comes from my parents. My father, an emeritus professor of Chemistry, inspired me to pursue teaching — I knew by the age of 10 that this was what I wanted to do. My mother, a remarkable woman who raised six… Share on X
As the years go by, I see more of them in myself. My bold, never-give-up spirit comes from my father, while my deep desire to help others (and admittedly, my inability to mind my own business) is all my mother.
My friends will laugh reading this, they know I’m always suggesting courses they must take, or nudging parents about their plans for secondary school, university, or work experience. I’m forever forwarding useful information. It’s who I am.
As you celebrate your birthday month, what moments or experiences do you reflect on with gratitude?
I am thankful that my children got into fantastic schools, and seeing the hard work and the intentionality that helped shape them. However, I can’t take credit for that alone; my husband played a key role.
Celebrating my golden jubilee with friends and family from all over the world, I smile and say I’m blessed and loved. Sometimes we take things for granted, but when I look at where I am coming from to where I am now, my heart is full of thanksgiving. June is special to me because my children and I celebrate our birthdays in June, and no, I did not plan it.
Additionally, I am grateful to my family, including my husband, children, siblings, and inner circle of friends. I am blessed with the most amazing people in my life – people who push me and want the best for me, and to see me grow.
Share one self-care tip. How do you relax and spend time with yourself?
During the half terms, I take time out to have a laugh with a fellow mum, get my hair and nails done, and go for a massage. I always have a checklist of what I need to do and love ticking it off. It gives me a buzz. I try to keep my learning going by also engaging in a course or improving my learning in an area annually. Sometimes I achieve it and sometimes I have to ask for an extension.
Bust one motherhood myth
As the children get older, it gets easier! Nope. You just have to constantly remain in a place of prayer and trust them and check in. I am always particular about their mental health. I call, send texts, and make affirmations to them. They know no matter what, we love them. I don’t just let them imagine it; I say it.
Motherhood doesn't get easier as the children get older - Ivie Share on X
Can you tell us how you stay stylish and what your beauty routine is?
Lol. That will specifically go to three people. Sister Mummy, Peps, and Flakey. They are the ones who are responsible for the way I look. You see, I am true to myself, and I’m not so good in that department, so I send pictures and videos while I’m in the shop and say, ‘Is this okay?’ I either get a ‘yay or nay’.
What advice would you give to other mums?
There is a time and a season for everything. Be kind to yourself. Do not let go of your dreams and aspirations. The right time will come. There were times when I was miserable because I had to do so many things. In fact, on Friday evening, I would have the four burners on – cooking, etc, so I could rest on Saturdays. Then that phase passed, and it was tennis lessons, piano lessons, swimming, extra tuition, etc. In fact, I worked on Saturdays as well, leaving home at 7 am for my son’s tuition lessons, then tennis, then my husband would take over. Once we exchanged children at a roundabout. It’s work! Ask for help, whether it’s with raising the children, your career, or your mental health. There is no shame in it.
Ask for help, whether it’s with raising the children, your career, or your mental health. There is no shame in it.
What do you love about LagosMums?
The sharing of information is second to none. I love the fact that it is a safe space to ask any questions and get honest feedback. Even though my children are much older now, I still see relevant and useful information that I share with younger mums.
Trivia
N1 Million or more sleep?
More sleep because I drive for 3 hours daily to get to work and back, so my sleep is precious to me.
Would you prefer to go on a shopping spree or an all-expense-paid trip to your dream destination?
An all-expense-paid trip. I am not one for shopping. I dislike shopping for clothes. My close friends and family know that’s an absolute no-no.
Homeschooling or traditional school?
Traditional schooling. I am a teacher, and I believe in the social interaction of children.
A spa day or eat out?
A spa. If not a full spa, at least a massage every 6 weeks.
Inspired by Ivie’s journey? Dive into more Mum of the Month features on LagosMums and connect with a supportive community of parents. Find stories, insights, and resources to help you navigate motherhood with confidence.