Our LagosMums Mum of the Month is Dami Mgbemena, A Certified Academic Life Coach, A wife, A mother, A daughter, A sister, A friend and the CEO of Student’s Coach
Please tell us about yourself. Can you share more about all the hats you wear?
My name is Dami Mgbemena, I am a Certified Academic Life Coach. For over 5 years, I have been helping parents unlock their children’s potential. I specialize in coaching teenage students to develop the study skills, habits and mindset they need to study better, ace their exams and to excel in school and beyond.
Dami is a Nigerian Canadian mother of 2 children who is privileged to have studied and worked in 3 different continents: Africa, Europe, and North America. I have multiple degrees in Architecture, Project Management and Business Administration.
Share one unexpected thing about you.
I studied Architecture for 6 years but ended up not becoming a practicing Architect.
Tell us about your beautiful family.
My family is comprised of 4 big personalities. Myself, my husband and our two lovely children.
How did you meet your husband and how long have you been married?
I met my husband in my first year of university. We were actually classmates studying Architecture. I remember the first day we spoke, we had been given an assignment to draw a tree. We were sitting not far from each other and I glanced at his sketch book. I saw that his drawing was really nice and so I said hi to him and asked him to teach me how to draw like him. We got talking and we became friends fast and the rest is history as they say.
Do you and your spouse have the same parenting style?
At the beginning, my husband and I did not have the same parenting style at all. He was more permissive while I was more authoritative. As our kids are getting older He is becoming less permissive. I learnt through watching him to take a gentler approach with correcting and raising our children. So now we are closer to having the same parenting style which is a gentle but authoritative approach.
Can you tell us one of the funniest things your child(ren) has done?
One thing my children do that is funny is that they make me stop on the landing of our staircase I dare not come down to the living room on a school day without them running up to hug me and say mummy very loudly. You would think that they have not seen me since they woke. If I mistakenly come down there will make me go back up so they can run towards. It’s hilarious and adorable.
What do you love the most about your work and all the many expressions of your purpose and passion?
I love that my work can completely transform a teenager’s mindset, attitude and approach towards their school work and set them up for lifelong success.
Unraveling the Heartbreaking Link Between Autism and Suicide Ideation
Share with us what you love most about your work as a Student coach
The ability to help students move from confused, struggling or below average to high flying successful students is what keeps me going
What have you learned about preparing children to thrive in the future?
The earlier a parent begins to intentionally raise and train their child towards becoming an independent adult the better. Children who are equipped with a range of different skills, from academic to financial to communication to thinking skills to athletic skills and so on are very independent and are more likely to get better opportunities earlier on than their peers.
How important is a support system for a mum? Who is in your tribe and what kind of your support do you have?
Oh wow! Support is absolutely important for a mum. Starting from a supportive spouse to parents, in-laws, cousins, friends, even neighbors all helps to lighten the load of motherhood. I have 4 staff in my home that handle cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, school picks and so on. Plus my mum lives really close by and is able to help when required. It would not have be possible to accomplish much else if these people were not in place to help with the running of my home. Having resided in Canada for over a decade before recently moved back to Lagos because I was totally burnt out. Knowing firsthand what it’s like to have to do everything myself and how limiting and tiring that can be. It really can take a toll on one’s health and ability to enjoy being a mum. So I am grateful for the support I have and I am super specific about making sure that the right supports are in place.
What are some ways that children and parenting are different from when you were growing up and now?
I like to believe that parenting is more intentional these days as parents can access more knowledge and support from sources like Lagos mums who curate helpful parenting content. The most radical difference will have to be the uptake of the digital and the various challenges and opportunities technology enables. It’s a very different world from when I was growing up.
Children these days are far more outspoken and are able to engage intelligently with adults and it is mostly welcome compared to when I was younger where children were more in the background.
How are you raising your children to be ready for an ever-changing world?
SKILLS, SKILLS, SKILLS. I focus on building a variety of skills that will allow my children be adaptable, independent and highly sort after for their unique combination of skills. I am also instilling in them a growth mindset and a solid work ethic. They are learning to put in the work whether it’s easy or hard so they can get outstanding results.
How do you balance work and parenting? Is it possible to achieve this?
Structure and Support.
I do think it’s possible to achieve some sort of delicate balance per season. I don’t aim for balance every day. There are times when work comes before present parenting for a period but I know when to shift gears and how to make sure that my children get their one-on-one time with me for cuddles, comfort and coaching. I am a big advocate of using routines and timetables to maintain order and structure so that the children and the home staff all know what they should be doing at various intervals.
I must say that it’s a big lift to balance parenting and work which is one of the reasons I chose to leave my 9 – 5 to run my business full time. This way I have more flexibility to organize my work in a way that still allows me to parent effectively.
It’s a complete game changer to have staff who are competent enough to handle tasks and oversee the children’s activities when I am unavailable to do so. Whether that’s a nanny, chef, home manager and others.
What inspired you to venture into being a Student Coach?
Having a strong calling to pass on the knowledge gained after 9 years of post-secondary education. I experienced a lot of up’s and down’s in school which had nothing to do with intelligence. Deciding to help students struggle less in school and to help them succeed with more ease. I love to see people WIN at any endeavor.
What are some of the challenges children face when it comes to study skills?
Generally, students are not taught how to study and develop skills that help them excel in school. They are mostly expected to figure out what works on their own. Many students often lack effective study methods, such as not having a structured study schedule, not reviewing material regularly, or not seeking help when they don’t understand the material and much more. This means that they struggle to understand, remember, and apply their learning. Students who have weak study skills end up doing poorly on tests and exams for various reasons. They are usually under-prepared , which leads to low and inconsistent grades and them not reaching their academic potential.
Can you share what surprised you the most about starting your own business? What would you advise a new entrepreneur just starting out?
What surprised me the most is the amount of marketing activities that I have to do to spread the word about my business. And as a digital entrepreneur, the amount of copy writing that I need to do to connect with my audience was also another surprise.
My advice for new entrepreneurs is simple; follow who know road. There certainly will be people who are ahead of you in your industry or in business in general who can teach you the ropes. You will save your self-time and unnecessary headaches.
What has motherhood taught you about yourself?
Motherhood has taught me that I have the capacity to love unconditionally, serve without expectations, be resilient in the face of challenges and to make sentimental purchases to please my kids or to create memories. Above all, I have seen within myself, the strength and courage against all odds to be there for my children when push comes to shove.
Use one word to describe one thing that should not be missing from every home.
Love
Tips to help Parents stay calm in Uncertain Time
Share with us your Student coach journey and how you get inspiration (what inspires you?)
My journey as an academic coach has been both interesting, challenging, demanding and fulfilling. I have had to get training and education to improve my coaching skills and to develop myself as a person that my students can really work collaboratively with. I am inspired by the many great minds in history and in our times who have achieved extraordinary things against all odds.
Share one self-care tip. How do you relax and spend time with yourself?
Pay attention to your health. If you are feeling tired, low energy or other symptoms don’t just brush it aside. Get some rest and then see a doctor.
I really enjoy spending time alone being lost in the wonder of my thoughts and dreaming about my most wonderful and ideal life.
Burst one motherhood myth!
You will instinctively know what to do when a situation arises around caring for and guiding your child. Many times you will feel unsure about your decision especially as a new mum. So get help and ask questions from the right sources.
Can you tell us how you stay stylish and your beauty routine?
I stay stylish by making sure my nails are done, my hair looks nice, my skin is clear and I wear nice outfits that complement my body type. I have a minimalist aesthetic and you will find my wearing mostly neutral colors. My beauty routine is very basic. After cleansing my face, I use a hydrating spray and then my vitamin c serum and some eye cream and sunscreen and of course lip gloss. It works well for me because I don’t struggle with acne and it is a straightforward routine.
What advice would you give to other mums?
I would say give yourself grace. Encourage yourself, and don’t be too hard on you. If things don’t go as planned move on quickly and recover without feeling so much guilt. Be your own biggest cheerleader and pat yourself on the back every once in a while. Being a mum is no small feat. Be deliberate about doing the things you enjoy, plan for it and find space for it today. Don’t wait till your kids are grown and out of the house to start enjoying your life fully.
How do you plan for the year?
I usually set some big goals at the start of the year but nothing that feels overwhelming and unachievable. I take a look at the most important things for me to work on for the first quarter of the year whether that’s growing my business, improving my health and fitness, drinking more water, planning my travels, finances, relationships etc. and I start taking baby steps towards the goals I set as soon as I begin my year.
What do you love about LagosMums?
I love that LagosMums is educating mothers and making the journey of motherhood more enjoyable.
Trivia
â—‹Â Â Â Â N1 Million or more sleep?
This one is so tricky. Would loved to go with sleep as I needed to be well rested to function optimally and to be at my happiest. I like my sleep.
â—‹Â Â Would you prefer to go on a shopping spree or an all-expense-paid trip to your dream destination?
All expense paid trip to my dream destination hands down.
â—‹Â Â Â Â Homeschooling or traditional school
Traditional schooling because there is a more structured curriculum and socialization with other children. Although there are certainly things about the school system that I don’t fancy and would like to see improved.
â—‹Â A spa day or Eat out?
I love to be pampered and catered too at a spa. It’s so relaxing and rejuvenating for my mind, body and soul without piling on extra calories that I then need to exercise off after a hearty meal. So spa for me any day.