Parenting can come with loneliness, which can be a surprise. Read on for some tips on making new friends during Parenthood without adding Stress.
You’re Not Alone: Why Friendship Feels Hard After Baby
Between night feeds, school runs, and Lagos traffic, it can feel impossible to keep up with old friendships, especially if your friends don’t have kids yet. But adults need friendships as much as children do. A supportive circle helps your mental health, reduces stress, and gives you a safe place to swap hacks (and laugh through the chaos).
The LagosMums “Friendship Fit” Framework
When time is tight, be intentional. Aim for friends who:
- Get your season (they understand bedtime routines, nap windows, and school calendars).
- Can meet you where you are (playgrounds, estates, church/mosque fellowships, or during children’s activities).
- Offer mutual support (you help each other with pickups, ideas, and encouragement).
Use the tips below, pick 2–3 to try this month.
1) Start on Your Street: Neighbourhood Friendships
If you’ll be in your estate or area for a year or more, invest there.
- Say hello on walks or at the estate playground; ask the names and ages of their children.
- Create a micro WhatsApp group for your block (e.g., “Block B Parents”) for quick check-ins, sharing vendors (nannies, tailors, snack ladies), and impromptu playtimes.
- Lagos tip: Estate events (Children’s Day, carol nights, EID picnics) are perfect low-pressure friend-making moments.
2) Turn School Runs into Social Moments
You’re already there, so use it.
- Arrive 10 minutes early once a week and chat with one new parent.
- Offer a school run pickup: “I bring your children home this week, you do next week”.
- Volunteer for a small PTA task. This is great for natural conversations.
3) Hop on Social Media (Smartly)
- Join local parenting groups on Facebook/Instagram to find playdates and advice.
- Follow Lagos-based child-friendly pages to discover events.
- Keep DMs simple: “Hi! Our kids are both 3. We’re at the playground on Saturday, 10–12—want to join?”
4) Join a Class (Shared Interests = Easy Icebreakers)
Look for baby/toddler music, swimming, art, Saturday sports, reading clubs at bookstores, church/mosque family groups.
- After class, stay 5–10 minutes to chat.
- Use the two-question opener: “How did your little one like today?” and “Do you know any other kid-friendly spots nearby?”
5) Use Voice Notes to Keep Friendship Alive
Busy parents often can’t type long messages.
- Suggest WhatsApp/Telegram voice notes so you can talk while cooking, commuting, or doing bedtime prep.
- Set a weekly 10-minute catch-up via voice notes—consistent and kind to your bandwidth.
6) Plan Simple, Repeatable Get-Togethers
No need for perfection.
- Low-stress ideas: park meetups, church/mosque courtyard hangouts, estate playtime, brunch at a kid-friendly café, board games after bedtime via video call.
- Make it recurring: “First Saturday Park Play, 10–12.” People can drop in when free.
7) Ask for Help (and Say Yes to Help)
Friendships grow through shared support.
- Ask your partner, parents, or a trusted sitter to watch the kids so you can grab coffee with a friend.
- Offer small help (pickup from the lesson, share notes from the PTA). Reciprocity builds trust fast.
8) Say the Quiet Thing Out Loud
It’s okay to admit: “I’m new to this season and would love to make more parent friends.” Vulnerability is magnetic. Many parents wish for the same thing.
Conversation Starters That Don’t Feel Awkward
- “How do you handle dinner on busy evenings?”
- “Any favourite Lagos playgrounds or soft play?”
- “How do you manage screen time at home?”
- “Have you tried any kid-friendly restaurants around here?”
Safety & Boundaries (Because Lagos)
- Share addresses only after trust has been built; meet first in public, kid-friendly spaces.
- Keep first playdates short (60–90 minutes).
- If using a carpool, exchange ID/phone numbers and confirm car seats.
- Trust your gut; healthy friendships feel mutual and respectful.
Quick Wins This Week
- Text one parent to meet at the playground for 45 minutes.
- Join one local WhatsApp/Telegram parent group.
- Arrive 10 minutes early to pick up and chat with one new person.
- Send two voice notes to friends you’ve lost touch with.
Gentle Reminder: Friendship Takes Maintenance
Some friendships let you pick up the phone after months and dive right in; others need steady watering. Both are valid. Celebrate your effort. You’re building your village, one smile, one voice note, one park date at a time.
Some friendships let you pick up the phone after months and dive right in; others need steady watering. Both are valid. Share on XHave you made a “parent friend” recently? Please share your favourite places to meet other families in Lagos in the comments or tag us on Instagram with your next meetup!