Sex Education 101: How to Start the Most Important Conversation with Your Kids Today

It is Important to talk to Children about Sex because Ignorance is NOT Bliss

For many of us, the topic of sex education wasn’t openly discussed when we were children. Yet, as society evolves, so too must the way we educate our children about their bodies and sexuality. Ignorance might have been “bliss” back then, but today, the landscape has dramatically changed. And so must our approach to talking about sex with our children.

The Changing World of Digital Exposure

Think about it: In the past, our exposure to sexualized content was minimal compared to today’s digital environment. We didn’t have the same level of adult content creeping into every corner of our lives. There were no seductive soap advertisements or semi-nude models flashing on TV. We didn’t have smartphones or social media apps, and the internet wasn’t the ubiquitous presence it is now.

Times have changed, and so has the way children are exposed to sexual information. This is why it’s more critical than ever for parents to take an active role in providing sex education.

When Should You Start Talking About Sex?

The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The right time to introduce children to sex education depends on their curiosity and developmental stage. For example, when your child starts asking questions about their body or where babies come from, that’s a natural cue that they may be ready for some age-appropriate explanations.

Starting Early: Normalizing Body Parts

Around the age of 2, many children begin exploring their bodies, including their genitalia. This behavior is perfectly normal. In fact, boys can have erections even in the womb! The key is to respond to this curiosity with openness and nonchalance. For instance, instead of feeling embarrassed, you can say, “This is your penis” or “This is your vagina,” and treat the body parts as neutrally as you would arms or legs. Knowledge is better than ignorance, and an open dialogue can reduce shame.

Knowledge is better than ignorance, and an open dialogue can reduce shame. Share on X

Answering Tough Questions with Age-Appropriate Honesty

When young children ask, “Where do babies come from?” instead of avoiding the question, give them a simple and age-appropriate response. You could start with, “Babies grow in Mummy’s tummy.” If they ask more detailed questions, provide a more in-depth explanation, but ensure they understand that such matters are for adults.

As Syreeta, a Lagos Mum, shares, “For younger children, you don’t need to dive into deep details. You can tell them, ‘Babies come from heaven, and God decides which parents they go to.”However, as children approach puberty, it’s time to provide them with more straightforward answers about the differences between boys and girls and the facts of life.

Preparing for Puberty: Navigating Changing Bodies

As children get older, questions about their changing bodies are inevitable. When a girl, for example, notices her breasts developing, it’s crucial to offer guidance that aligns with her growing awareness. Explain that this change is a natural part of becoming a teenager, and teach her about body care, personal hygiene, and the importance of responsibility.

Similarly, if a boy starts questioning things like bed-wetting or erections, don’t dodge the topic. Explain that he’s growing up and may be starting to experience changes in his body. Use this opportunity to educate him about puberty, sexual health, and respect for others.

When the Questions Get Tough: Talking About Sexual Contact and Boundaries

When a boy starts asking questions about the thing that caused him to wet his bed while sleeping, don’t try to brush it off with fairy tales like “some ghosts did the wetting.” He knows what’s going on as he’s likely learned about it in Integrated Science. This is a critical moment to explain that he’s growing into a young man, and that any sexual contact with a woman could lead to pregnancy and potentially make him a father. It might also be his way of testing whether he can bring such issues to your attention.

Similarly, when it’s time for your preteen daughter to learn more about sexual health, avoid making up stories like, “When a man touches you, you will get pregnant.” It’s time to tell her the truth. Explain the process of sexual activity clearly and responsibly. It’s also important to teach her what to do if anyone makes inappropriate moves.

Instead of suggesting she hide her body with big shirts or baggy pants, empower her to take a stand. Teach her how to react to boys or men who don’t respect boundaries and keep their hands to themselves. Silence is not an option here. Pretending everything is fine doesn’t work—because if you don’t tell them, they will find out anyway.

The Bottom Line: Knowledge is Power

The sooner you open the lines of communication, the better prepared your child will be to navigate the complexities of growing up in today’s digital world. Yes, it’s uncomfortable at times, but silence only leaves room for misinformation and external influences. Let your child know that they can come to you with questions, and you’ll provide them with truthful and responsible answers.

What sex education strategy works for you? What age did you start talking to your children about sex?