Sexual Harassment: Breaking the Myth of Immunity

Sexual harassment is a topic that many parents avoid discussing, often believing that it won’t affect their family or their children. However, the reality is that no child is immune. It occurs in schools, churches, homes, and even online. The real danger lies in the silence that allows this behavior to thrive. In a recent episode on Parenting Today, Yetty Williams, digital parenting coach and founder of LagosMums, discussed what qualifies as sexual harassment. How it manifests, and the vital role parents play in creating a safe environment for their children.

Understanding Sexual Harassment

So, what exactly qualifies as sexual harassment? This question is crucial, especially when discussing children within the family context. Sexual harassment encompasses inappropriate comments, advancements, and the exploitation of power dynamics. It can happen anywhere, whether in person or online. The key takeaway here is that nobody is immune to sexual harassment. It crosses all boundaries, including age, gender, socioeconomic status, and religion. Awareness is the first step toward prevention.

Common Misconceptions

Many people might think that sexual harassment only affects certain groups. While studies show that a particular gender might be more susceptible, it’s essential to recognize that anyone can become a victim. The narrative that “not my child, not my home” only perpetuates the issue. It’s critical for parents to understand that they must be proactive rather than reactive.

Inappropriate Comments and Behaviors

Identifying inappropriate comments or behaviors is vital. Unfortunately, many parents struggle to differentiate between what is acceptable and what is not. Over time, research has provided insights into how certain exposures can harm a developing child. For example, consider a scenario where an uncle or family acquaintance makes inappropriate comments about a young girl’s developing body, saying things like, “She’s becoming big enough to be my small wife.” Such statements may seem harmless to some, but they can have damaging long-term effects.

These comments can lead to feelings of self-consciousness and confusion for the child. Caregivers must address such remarks immediately by correcting the speaker or discussing the inappropriateness of the comments with the child afterward. This kind of dialogue can help prevent potential grooming behaviors that often start subtly.

Handling Harassment: The Role of Parents

Addressing sexual harassment requires a proactive approach. It’s not enough to wait for something to happen; parents need to educate their children about what constitutes harassment. This includes both online and offline behaviors. For instance, if someone makes inappropriate comments in a direct message on social media, it’s essential for the child to know how to respond. If they tell the person to stop and the behavior continues, that crosses the line into harassment.

Online Harassment

Online harassment presents unique challenges. The anonymity of the internet can embolden harassers, making them feel detached from the consequences of their actions. This phenomenon is known as the “online disinhibition effect.” As parents, it’s essential to discuss the risks associated with online interactions openly. Teach children about the importance of privacy settings, recognizing red flags, and reporting inappropriate behavior.

Exposing Children to Inappropriate Content

Another critical aspect to consider is whether adults or parents expose children to sexual content. Many adults might think that allowing children to view adult content isn’t harmful, but this can lead to grooming behaviors. If an adult continuously exposes a child to inappropriate material, it raises concerns about their intentions. Parents must understand the implications of such exposure and its potential to normalize inappropriate behavior.

Creating a Safe Environment

As parents, it’s our responsibility to cultivate an environment where children feel safe to report harassment or uncomfortable situations. This involves being intentional about the topics we discuss and ensuring that children know they can come to us without fear of judgment or shame. Your parenting strategy should evolve into a curriculum that prepares your child for the realities of the world today.

Teaching Consent and Body Awareness

One foundational element in preventing sexual harassment is teaching children about consent and body autonomy. From a young age, children should learn the names of their body parts and understand which areas are private. They need to know that nobody should touch them inappropriately, and if they do, it is essential to speak up. This knowledge empowers children to recognize inappropriate behaviors and communicate their discomfort effectively.

One foundational element in preventing sexual harassment is teaching children about consent and body autonomy. Share on X

Addressing the Balance of Awareness and Fear

Finding the right balance between educating children about the dangers of harassment and not instilling fear can be tricky. It’s essential to approach these conversations with care, ensuring that children are aware of potential threats without becoming paranoid. Equip them with the knowledge they need to navigate the world confidently, reminding them that the goal is to empower them, not to scare them.

Understanding That Boys Are Also Victims

When discussing sexual harassment, many people assume it primarily affects girls. However, boys also experience harassment, yet cultural norms often discourage them from speaking out. This silence can lead to a lack of support for male victims. Parents must challenge these norms and emphasize that harassment is unacceptable regardless of gender.

Modeling Appropriate Behavior

Children learn from their parents. If we model respectful behavior and open discussions about consent and boundaries, they will be more likely to internalize these values. Talk about appropriate and inappropriate comments, and encourage them to express their feelings about any discomfort they experience. This ongoing dialogue will help them develop a strong sense of self and respect for others.

Creating a Proactive Parenting Strategy

As we navigate this digital age, it’s more critical than ever to have a proactive parenting strategy. Create a plan that includes discussions about sexual harassment, consent, and healthy relationships. Be intentional about the content your child is exposed to and ensure they hear from you first before the internet introduces them to these topics. It is also helpful to discuss situations in the news, such as the recent case with Senator Natasha in Nigeria. It gives a good insight into what happens to people, and especially women who speak out about issues such as sexual harassment.

Encouraging Open Dialogue

Encouraging open dialogue about sensitive topics is essential. While it may feel uncomfortable, having these conversations equips children with the tools they need to face the world. If parents shy away from discussing these issues, they leave a void that others may fill with misinformation or harmful perspectives.

What should I do if my child experiences harassment?

First, listen to your child and validate their feelings. Encourage them to report the incident to a trusted adult. Discuss what happened and ensure they understand that it’s not their fault.

How can I teach my child about consent?

Start by explaining body autonomy and the importance of saying “no.” Use age-appropriate language to discuss boundaries and respect.

What if my child is afraid to talk about harassment?

Reassure them that they won’t be judged and that their feelings are valid. Create a safe space for open conversations and encourage them to share their experiences.

How can I model appropriate behavior for my child?

Be mindful of your comments and actions. Discuss respectful interactions, and demonstrate how to set and respect boundaries in your relationships.

Sexual harassment is a pervasive issue that affects many, but it is possible to combat it through education, open dialogue, and proactive parenting strategies. By fostering a safe environment and empowering our children with knowledge, we take significant steps toward breaking the cycle of silence and protecting our children.