I read an article by Dr Shimi Kang and picked up a new term in parenting styles I could relate to and quite like – The Dolphin Mum.
A Dolphin Mum, means a collaborative (authoritative) parent. Not a controlling (authoritarian) Tiger Mum, or a indulging (permissive) Jellyfish Mum.
The Dolphin Mum prioritises long-term goals of living a healthy, balanced life with connection and purpose over short-term goals of medals and test scores.
The Dolphin Mum is a balance of the extreme over-controlling, overbearing Tiger Mum and the permissive, directionless Jellyfish Mum , firm yet flexible. With rules and expectations, including expecting good performance in academics and to be disciplined. She also values autonomy, individual passions and independent choices.
Dolphin Mums do not over schedule
There is a healthy dose of extra curricular activities and then there is too much. Too many kids nowadays are sleep deprived, stressed out and burnt out simply because of the schedules imposed on them by their parents. Yes while we want them to keep up in this more competitive world, stress and being over busy from childhood also has it negative effects.
Dolphin Mums do not over instruct.
Balance the classroom learning with real-world learning. Living in the real world is what ultimately prepares you for the real world. Children need to thrive with their creatively and not have jam packed schedules or constantly being told what to do. Play is directly linked to the development of our prefrontal cortex and helps a child develop vital social, intellectual and emotional skills that cannot be acquired any other way.
Dolphin Mums don’t over protect.
As a parent you protect from serious harm and there are some mistakes that are not worth experiencing, but don’t over shelter your children from life’s ups and downs. Children must make some of their own mistakes, children should learn that there are effects and repercussions of decisions, either good or bad. How will they learn if everything is done for them or they are sheltered from everything.
Dolphin Mums adapt.
You cannot parent the same way or stick to the same methods as children grow up and their needs change. An effective parent must constantly adapt to her changing kids and their changing environment. A dolphin mum will understand the social media world, the lingo and the way things are done today so that she can adapt, she can stay relevant and she can stay on the truth when raising her children.
Don’t be like the mum whose children were talking about Nicki Minaj and when she asked who that was they told her that it was a student in their school! As my 6 year old would say “if you don’t know something….google it”
Photo source: mirrorme
