How Not to Speak to Children

The way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice especially as they grow older. We are highlighting how not to speak to children because words have power. As a parent be intentional with your words and build up your child not tear them down.

Imagine the following conversation,  “What is it? What do you want Maggy? Gosh, you are so annoying” this was an exchange between a mum and her daughter.

how not to speak to a child lagosmumsThis is the conversation I heard a mother have with her child at school pickup. Her daughter could not have been more than 6 years old. The little girl just shrunk and stood quietly beside her mum after this outburst.

There are certain things that parents should just not say to a child. An example of this is telling your child that he or she is annoying! If the child needs to be corrected, there are many ways to ask a child to stop a particular action. Simply tell the child to stop doing said action and inform them that there will be a punishment would suffice.

Several times, children suffer because of a parent who does not know how to manage his or her emotions or communication style.

In another scenario, in the same school on the same day. I saw a mum pick up her child from the class and tell him that she missed him soo much and asked excitably about his day school! His whole face lit up as he started chatting away about his day.

Just fast forward a few years and imagine which child will have a close and open relationship with their mums.

Words Affect Children

As parents, we need to guard our words, our actions, our utterances and reactions to our children. Don’t forget that they soon grow up and you get what you gave. Literally, when our children become adults what we get is what we raised. If you were abusive, judgmental and impatient with your child then you will most likely get a child who will also be impatient and judgmental with you when they do become adults. These children might end up with self-esteem issues and be anxious. They might also have built up walls around their hearts overtime to protect themselves from their parent’s harsh words and reactions.

The parenting job description includes the request to build up your child’s self-esteem. When we do discipline them it is with love to improve them and not to tear them down with abusive words. No child ever reacted negatively to healthy love.

Read: What Is Your Parenting Style

 

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