This month, we feature Abies Sonia Ebenezer-Bamigbayan, a dedicated mum whose passion for helping others heal, grow, and thrive has shaped both her career and family life. As a counsellor, educator, author, speaker, and wellbeing advocate, she has spent years empowering individuals and families through life’s challenges. With a wealth of experience in counselling, positive psychology, and education, she brings a unique perspective to motherhood and personal growth. In this feature, she shares her journey, values, and the lessons that continue to inspire her work and parenting.
Please tell us about yourself. Can you share more about all the hats you wear?
My name is Abies Sonia Ebenezer-Bamigbayan, and I wear many hats, all connected by one core passion: helping people heal, grow, and thrive emotionally, mentally, relationally, and socially.
Professionally, I am a BACP-registered counsellor, registered member of the National Council of Integrative Psychotherapists, integrative life coach, keynote speaker, author, positive psychology facilitator, podcast host, and community wellbeing advocate. I hold a master’s degree in Counselling and Positive Psychology, alongside a postgraduate qualification in Teaching and Learning from Manchester Metropolitan University.
My career spans over 27 years in education, counselling, and wellbeing, including 19 years in the UK education sector in teaching, counselling, and positive psychology facilitation. I have also trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), multicultural counselling, and Couples Counselling for Depression. My trauma-informed, integrative approach enables me to support adults, children, teenagers, and couples navigating challenges such as trauma, grief, depression, burnout, anxiety, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.
I am the author of Inner Harmony: Resilience Beyond Chronic Stress and Burnout, a book inspired by both my professional expertise and personal experience of burnout. Through my work, I help people build resilience, emotional balance, and healthier ways of living.
I am the founder of ASEB Consultancy(www.asebconsultancy.com), where I provide counselling, coaching, wellbeing training, and psychoeducational support. I am also the founder of Resilience Bridge, a community interest company supporting African, diaspora, and ethnic minority families through wellbeing initiatives, advocacy, parenting support, and culturally responsive community programmes.
As a speaker and educator, I deliver talks and training on trauma, burnout, resilience (www.resiliencebridge.com), emotional wellbeing, cultural identity, parenting, and positive psychology. I am also the host of the Authentic Thriving Podcast, where I explore topics such as emotional healing, relationships, identity, spirituality, and mental wellbeing through storytelling and practical conversations.
In schools across North West England, I work as a positive psychology facilitator, supporting programmes that help children and young people develop resilience, confidence, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, kindness, and wellbeing.
Beyond my professional roles, I am a wife and mother of three. Family is one of my greatest blessings and shapes the compassion, empathy, and perspective I bring to both my work and leadership.
At the heart of everything I do are my core values are spirituality, family, love, peace, joy, integrity, compassion, and meaningful connection. Ultimately, all the hats I wear connect to one mission: helping people move from survival to inner harmony by creating safe, supportive spaces where they can heal, grow, and thrive.
How did you meet your husband, and how long have you been married?
I met my husband at a Jobcentre in the United Kingdom in 2004. We dated for two years before getting married, and by June 2026, we will be celebrating 19 beautiful years of marriage together.
Can you tell us one of the funniest things about being a mum?Â
You can be upset with a child for one second and you think at least i will have my space for a bit and the next minute the same child is asking: “Mum, where’s my charger?” “Mum, have you seen my socks?” “Mum, he’s looking at me!” “Mummyyyy!”Â
A child’s heart is pure and its hard for them to begrudge.
How important is a support system for a mum? Who is in your tribe, and what kind of support do you have?
I believe a strong support system is essential for every woman, especially mothers. Motherhood comes with constant demands and emotional responsibilities, and no one is meant to navigate it alone. Having trustworthy people who can encourage, guide, and support us can make a significant difference.
I remember when my first child suddenly developed a very high temperature and began convulsing. It was one of the most frightening moments of my life as a mother. After seeking emergency medical help, I found comfort and practical guidance from my mother and colleagues, who shared their own experiences and advice. That experience reminded me of the value of wisdom, emotional support, and shared experiences from trusted people.
Having experienced burnout myself, I have also learned that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Support systems have taught me the importance of delegating, trusting others, and prioritising my wellbeing rather than trying to carry every responsibility alone.
My support network includes family, close friends, and people who share my values of faith, growth, integrity, and purpose. My spirituality is also a source of strength, and my intercessory prayer group provides encouragement, peace, and grounding during challenging seasons.
Most importantly, my husband and three children are at the heart of my support system. Their love, understanding, and encouragement help me stay focused, balanced, and reminded that while I wear many hats, I do not have to carry everything alone.
What are some ways children and parenting are different now compared to when you were growing up?
Parenting and childhood have changed significantly since I was growing up. One major difference is that children today are more confident in expressing themselves, asking questions, and expecting explanations. In the past, many children were taught to obey without questioning adults, whereas modern parenting increasingly encourages open communication and dialogue.
Another notable shift is accountability. Growing up, parenting was often based on authority, with little emphasis on parents acknowledging mistakes. Today, children are more emotionally aware and often encourage parents to model the behaviours they teach, including apologising and taking responsibility. This has challenged many parents to lead more intentionally by example.
I also believe many parents today work hard to provide opportunities they may not have had themselves. While this comes from love and sacrifice, it can sometimes create a sense of entitlement if children are not taught the value of effort, gratitude, and responsibility.
On the positive side, parents now have greater access to parenting resources, mental health education, and emotional wellbeing support. There is also increased awareness around safeguarding, healthy relationships, and the impact of childhood experiences on long-term wellbeing.
As someone who works in counselling and wellbeing, I see a growing commitment among parents to break unhealthy generational patterns, improve communication, and create emotionally supportive environments for their children.
While no generation parents perfectly, there is greater awareness of raising emotionally secure, resilient, and well-rounded children. Share on XÂ Tell us about your beautiful family and your journey to motherhood.
I am blessed with three beautiful daughters, and my journey into motherhood has been one of the most transformative and meaningful experiences of my life. Motherhood has brought me immense joy, love, laughter, learning, and growth, while also stretching me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually in ways I never imagined.
For me, motherhood has truly been a lifelong school of learning and self discovery. It has caused me to deeply introspect, reflect on my own upbringing, values, communication, emotional responses, and the kind of environment I want to create for my children. Through the journey, I have learned to become more patient, intentional, emotionally aware, resilient, and compassionate.
My children have not only grown under my guidance, but they have also helped shape me into a better version of myself that is still evolving every day. Motherhood continues to teach me humility, flexibility, sacrifice, unconditional love, and the importance of creating a safe, nurturing, and emotionally healthy space for my family.
Together with my husband, we try to raise our daughters with strong values, confidence, emotional intelligence, faith, kindness, resilience, and a sense of purpose, while also allowing them the freedom to grow into their own unique personalities and strengths.
Although motherhood comes with challenges, it has been one of the greatest blessings and most rewarding journeys of my life.
What has motherhood taught you about yourself?
Motherhood has taught me so much about myself spiritually, emotionally, and personally. One of the greatest lessons it has taught me is that motherhood cannot be done purely by human strength. It has deepened my dependence on God and reminded me daily of the scripture, “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,” says the Lord Almighty Bible. There are moments in motherhood where wisdom, patience, strength, and grace are needed beyond what you naturally feel capable of giving, and those moments have strengthened my faith and spirituality deeply.
Motherhood has also revealed to me how resilient I truly am. It has taught me perseverance during difficult seasons, flexibility during unexpected moments, and the ability to keep showing up even when I was emotionally or physically tired. Through motherhood, I have discovered levels of strength, sacrifice, and endurance I did not fully realise I had.
It has also taught me the importance of love, forgiveness, patience, and emotional growth. Children challenge you to grow alongside them. They mirror things back to you and often push you towards greater self awareness and intentionality. I have learned how to love deeply while also maintaining healthy boundaries, structure, and discipline. Motherhood has shown me that it is possible to be nurturing, compassionate, forgiving, and emotionally available while still being firm, intentional, and values driven.
Most importantly, motherhood has taught me humility, empathy, grace, and the understanding that parenting is not about perfection. It is a continual journey of learning, evolving, reflecting, and growing both as a parent and as a person.
What advice would you give to other new mums?
One piece of advice I would give to new mums is not to try to do motherhood alone. Motherhood is beautiful, but it can also be emotionally, mentally, and physically demanding, so having the right support system is incredibly important.
I would encourage new mums to connect and network with other mothers, especially those who are a few steps ahead in the journey, because there is so much wisdom, reassurance, and practical support that comes from shared experiences. Joining supportive communities, whether physically or digitally, can make a huge difference. Platforms and communities like LagosMums create valuable spaces where women can learn, share vulnerably, encourage one another, and feel less isolated.
I would also say learn to delegate and allow trusted people to help you. Many women feel pressure to do everything themselves, but asking for support is not weakness. It is wisdom. Whether it is emotional support, childcare help, practical assistance, or simply having someone listen to you, support matters.
For mothers who are married or parenting with a partner, I think it is also important to carry your spouse along in the learning journey. Share the parenting awareness, information, and values you are learning so you can work as a team and remain aligned in how you support your child and one another.
Most importantly, prioritise your wellbeing and listen to your body. Your body often gives signals when you are overwhelmed, exhausted, emotionally drained, or in need of rest. As someone who has experienced burnout, I have learned that mothers cannot continue pouring from an empty cup without consequences. Caring for yourself is not selfish; it is necessary for both you and your family.
Motherhood is not about perfection. It is a journey of learning, growing, adapting, and giving yourself grace along the way.
Bust one motherhood myth!
One motherhood myth I would love to bust is the idea that a “good mother” must do everything alone and hold everything together perfectly all the time.
Many women silently carry the pressure to constantly give, nurture, provide, organise, sacrifice, and keep everyone emotionally stable while ignoring their own needs. Society often praises exhausted mothers as though burnout is proof of love or strength. But the truth is, constantly pouring from an empty cup is not sustainable or healthy.
A good mother is not a perfect mother. A good mother is a self aware mother who is willing to learn, grow, apologise when necessary, ask for help, rest, set boundaries, and care for her own wellbeing too. As someone who has experienced burnout with serious consequences, I had to learn that asking for help, delegating, and not trying to micromanage everything is not weakness, it is wisdom. Children do not only learn from what we say; they also learn from how we care for ourselves, handle stress, communicate, and navigate life.
Motherhood should not mean losing yourself completely. Healthy mothers help build healthier families.
Use one word to describe one thing that should not be missing from every home.
Love
How do you balance work and parenting?
I personally prefer the word harmony rather than balance, because life is constantly evolving and different seasons require different levels of attention. Instead of trying to perfectly “balance” everything, I focus on creating harmony between my work, family life, wellbeing, and purpose. One of the key ways I do this is by working in close partnership with my husband. Parenting and building a vision cannot thrive well in isolation, so teamwork, communication, understanding, and mutual support are very important in our home.
I also intentionally carry my children along in the journey of what I do. They are aware of the work I engage in, the impact behind it, and the purpose connected to it. I believe involving them appropriately helps them feel included rather than disconnected from my responsibilities and commitments. At the same time, I prioritise being emotionally and physically present for my children. Presence is very important to me. Even with the many hats I wear, I try to create meaningful moments of connection, conversations, support, and quality time with my family.
I have also learned, especially through my own experiences with burnout, that harmony requires self awareness, boundaries, rest, delegation, and flexibility. Some days family may need more of me, while other days work responsibilities may increase, but the goal is to ensure that neither success nor service comes at the expense of my wellbeing or my family relationships. For me, harmony is about intentionally building a life where purpose, family, wellbeing, and meaningful relationships can coexist in a healthy and sustainable way.
What do you love the most about your work as a counsellor and integrative life coach, and all the many expressions of your purpose and passion?
What I love most about my work as a counsellor, integrative life coach, speaker, and wellbeing advocate is supporting people as they move from survival to healing, clarity, confidence, and inner harmony. There is something deeply rewarding about helping individuals navigate emotional challenges and witnessing them rediscover hope, purpose, joy, and self-worth.
I am passionate about creating safe, compassionate spaces where people feel seen, heard, understood, and empowered. Many come seeking support while struggling with anxiety, burnout, trauma, grief, relationship difficulties, or life transitions, and it is a privilege to walk alongside them on their healing journey.
One of the most fulfilling aspects of my work is seeing people gain self-awareness, emotional resilience, healthier boundaries, and the confidence to live more intentionally. I also find great meaning in helping individuals and families strengthen relationships, improve communication, and reconnect with themselves and others in healthier ways.
The greatest joy is seeing people realise that healing and growth are possible, and that they are worthy of peace, joy, confidence, and a healthier, more fulfilling life.
What are your top business challenges and how do you overcome them
One challenge of running a business in the mental health and wellbeing sector is building trust while addressing the stigma surrounding counselling and emotional wellbeing. Mental health is still misunderstood in some communities, making education, awareness, and mindset change an important part of the work.
Another challenge is cash flow and the realities that come with growing and sustaining a brand. Building a meaningful business takes time, consistency, patience, and strategic decision making. There are seasons where you invest heavily into growth, systems, training, or visibility before you fully see the financial return.
Marketing can also be challenging because the work I do is deeply relational and emotionally sensitive. It requires authenticity, trust, and consistency rather than simply selling a product. Over time, I have learned the importance of focusing on impact, staying consistent, building relationships, networking intentionally, and collaborating with people and organisations whose values align with mine.
I have also learned that continuous growth is essential, investing in professional development through courses, mentorship, reading, supervision, networking, and ongoing learning to ensure I remain relevant, informed, and effective within my industry. I believe that leaders should never stop learning.
A valuable lesson I have learned, especially after experiencing burnout, is that I do not have to do everything myself. I now focus on working smarter by delegating tasks, investing in support services, and using automation to improve efficiency and streamline operations.
Overall, entrepreneurship has taught me resilience, adaptability, emotional intelligence, and the importance of balancing vision with wellbeing. Every challenge has helped me grow both personally and professionally.
What inspires you to stay positive?Â
What inspires me to stay positive is firstly my faith and relationship with God. I believe God has given each of us unique gifts and purpose, inspiring me to keep growing, serving others, and making a positive impact. My faith gives me hope, strength, and perspective, especially during challenging seasons.
My family, especially my children, are also a huge source of inspiration for me. I want to leave them a meaningful legacy, not just financially or professionally, but emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. I want them to see through my life that it is possible to overcome challenges, grow through adversity, live intentionally, and make positive impacts wherever they go. They motivate me to keep becoming a healthier, wiser, and more grounded version of myself.
I am also deeply inspired by joy and transformation. I genuinely love seeing people heal, grow, smile again, regain confidence, rediscover hope, and experience joy after difficult experiences. Seeing others thrive, emotionally flourish, and move from survival mode into a healthier and more peaceful life brings me great fulfilment and happiness.
Positivity is not about perfection; it is about choosing hope, purpose, faith, and gratitude through life’s challenges.
Can you share your self-care tips?Â
My self-care centers on peace, balance, relaxation, and meaningful connections.
One of my favourite forms of self care is spending time in nature through mindful walks. Nature helps me slow down, reflect, breathe deeply, and mentally reset. I find that fresh air, greenery, movement, and simply being present in nature can be incredibly calming and restorative for both the mind and body.
I also enjoy listening to gospel music because it uplifts me spiritually and emotionally. Music has a powerful way of bringing peace, encouragement, hope, and perspective, especially during busy or emotionally demanding seasons.
Another important part of my self care is intentionally allowing myself to rest and recharge physically. Things like spa treatments, massages, and taking time to relax help me release tension and reconnect with my body, especially as someone who supports others emotionally through counselling and wellbeing work. I value healthy eating as part of self-care, helping me stay energised and well-balanced.
Most importantly, spending quality time with my family is one of my greatest sources of joy and wellbeing. Simple moments like playing games together, laughing, talking, and creating memories help me feel connected, present, and balanced. Burnout taught me that self-care is essential. It allows me to show up healthier, more present, and more intentional in every area of my life.
What do you love about LagosMums?Â
What I love most about LagosMums is its strong sense of community, support, and shared learning. It creates a supportive community where mothers can connect, learn, and grow together.
I also appreciate the practical resources, networking opportunities, and meaningful conversations the platform offers. Parenting can sometimes feel overwhelming, so having a community where women can learn from one another and feel supported is invaluable.
I especially admire the vision and consistency behind both LagosMums and Lagos to London Mums. Yetty Williams has built platforms that continue to positively impact women, mothers, and families. What stands out most is their ability to create safe, empowering spaces where women can connect, support one another, and access valuable information.
Trivia
â—‹Â N1 Million or more sleep? It depends on my state of mind; if I am tired, I will not trade my sleep for any money. If i am not tired, N1 Million
â—‹Â Would you prefer to go on a shopping spree or an all-expense-paid trip to your dream destination? Â
An all-expense-paid trip to your dream destination? Â
â—‹Â Homeschooling or traditional school
I have done both. So it depends on the situation
â—‹Â Is AI more good or bad?Â
AI has its pros and cons, you just have to use it to suit your purpose. For me I think its useful.Â
Read more from our other beautiful Mums of the Month here
