Are You A Good Mum? Let’s Find Out

Sometimes, you think you’ve done a great job coping with being a good mum, then you read your child’s school essay and learn that mummy’s hobby is shouting and sleeping (Yes, weren’t you the one to explain that a hobby is what one loves doing?). You just finish bathing the baby and before you can place the diaper beneath that cute bottom, your little one pees in your face, or poops on that freshly-laundered towel. Or you spend hours online scanning food blogs to scout new recipes to spice up meal times and when you’re about to display, your child asks you if it’s okay to have bread and butter instead. 

Inhale…

Motherhood can be a thankless task. Especially when you do not have a day job, and after all the chores and tasks, a partner or spouse says stuff like “after all, you’re at home all day doing nothing”. Some days, you’re literally tearing out your hair and actually miss your single days.

Being a mother is a source of great joy but can also be stressful. It alternates between the days when you are on auto pilot and days when you wonder why nobody told you about this part of motherhood; like dealing with a cranky child when you’re down with malaria, or breastfeeding through sore nipples. What about those days when you are suffering from mum guilt because you have to miss the school play thanks to a major meeting at work. You console yourself by rationalising that prioritizing work will help you keep your job and ensure that school fees is paid. There are times when motherhood can just be an endless marathon .

Exhale… 

Your lovely toddler is now a teenager, and your every attempt to be a good parent seems to be rebuffed. They want space. They suddenly know best and you are the ignorant one that is too old-school. Then they start bringing spouses home and next thing you are summoned to do omugwo. Now you wonder how you are supposed to know how to bathe a newborn when your own mum or your spouse’s mother helped you with yours. So you travel down memory-lane and try to quickly remember and reproduce everything you saw them do, even though it was decades ago. READ: [Motherhood – I Had no Idea]

If any of the above scenarios rang true with you, give yourself a pat on the back. Self-doubt or not, you are a good mum.

Good Mum Quality or Character

The very fact that you worry about being a good mum or that you make efforts to visit LagosMums, this means you are a good mum.

Have you made mistakes and perfected a technique because of the mistake(s)?  you are a good mum.

Has your child ever been nervous or unsure about being away from home? you are a good mum. 

Have you laughed at annoying things like a child hiding your car keys or have you been strong enough to look past those cute angel-eyes to administer much-needed discipline? you are a good mum.

Have you ever concealed your disappointment, then supported and encouraged your child when they did not do so well? you are a good mum.

Are you your child’s first port of call when they’re happy, sad, crying or having a bad day? then you’re a good mum.

If you’ve ever had to refer to the internet to find the best way to make a costume, you are a good mum.

Ever heard your spouse say “I don’t know how she does it” (about you)? you are a good mum.

Your children occasionally hate you, but remember your birthday or do something nice for you on mother’s day, you are a good mum.

Sometimes you’ve left home with mismatched shoes, or with your hairnet still on, you are a good mum.

Yes you are not perfect, don’t get it right all the time and make mistakes. But you try.

Inhale. Exhale. Rinse. Repeat. You are a good mum.

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