I’ve always felt that there’s a special bond between fathers and daughters, likewise mother and sons. Maybe because I’m female, I actually think that the bond between fathers and daughters is stronger.
I grew up in a traditional home. By traditional I mean, I didn’t hear the words; “I love you” flying about. Hugs weren’t the order of the day. Somehow though, we just knew we were loved. In the earlier days, I wasn’t sure about my mum because she was such a disciplinarian but as time went on, we were certain that out parents would do anything for us. Our parents gave us the best, even though they had to stretch themselves to afford it. Their love gave us the confidence to become who we are today.
However the love my father had for us was amazing. You see, my father was from the old school. He grew up in Ilesa and coming to University of Lagos and finishing school was a great deal. He wasn’t good with words so he couldn’t put his thoughts into words but his actions always spoke volume. My sense of worth and appreciation of the fact that I was special first came from my father.
I started writing when I was little girl. I would write short stories and my father would insist my mother read them and made corrections because she taught English. It never crossed his mind that what I wrote wasn’t good enough. To him, because his daughter wrote it, it had potential. When I started writing books, my father was my greatest cheerleader supporting me and urging me to publish. My first book is dedicated to my father, a man who loved me before I loved myself.
I lived such a sheltered life growing up that I didn’t know the public transport system till I was about to enter as a freshman in the University of Lagos. I got back home at 6pm the first time I left for school on my own. Before I got back, my father had gone looking for me. I kept on asking myself how he was supposed to find me. Was he going to stand at the bus station with a placard, with my name on it, I had no idea. I remember him getting on a bus to get my bag that I left in school because our car had faults.
I was never under pressure to be what I wasn’t. He accepted me and encouraged me to be the best. Whatever business it was, he was in support as long as I liked it. He just knew my strengths and did not emphasize my weakness.
My father was the first male in my life to affirm me and make me feel so special. So you can understand why, no other guy could sell me lies and take me on a wild goose chase. All they had to say to me, my father might not have said but he had shown me in many ways than one.
It is the responsibility of fathers to be the first male figure to affirm their daughters. In this age we live in, fathers can’t get away with not talking like my father, because the lyrics being sold to young girls now are off the hook. Fathers need to express themselves. Their daughters need to know that their fathers love them.
So fathers pick your daughters and let them know how much you love them. Compliment them and take note of their milestones in life. Celebrate their growth and let them know how beautiful they are. Celebrate their character and help them harness their strengths in the right direction. Take them out and have father and daughter times.
I am of the opinion that the very first date that a girl should have, should be with her father. Make that date a big deal and not a childhood affair. You decide what age that child is able to understand that date. I mean the whole evening dress, tuxedo and nice restaurant effect.
I am also of the opinion that the first ring that a girl should get should come from her father. Why? Because until a girl is married, her father is responsible for her well being. He should teach her the importance of keeping herself for her husband. Some call it a purity ring while others have several names. It reminds young ladies of a commitment to stay true to God and keep them from sex till they get married.
Why should fathers go through all this stress? Because the world is getting worse. More than ever before, girls need affirmation from the male figure that really loves them, no strings attached. Why? Because if your daughter has a taste of what wholesome love really feels like, they would recognize it when they see it. They won’t be tempted to settle for less that God’s best. They would never think that they have to sell themselves short to gain someone’s affection; they would realize that they are special just because they are who they are.
Treat you daughter like a princess today and you would reap a queen in the future.
Contributed by Sola Agudah
Photo Source: babymamahood.com