Meet Amb. Nimi Akinkugbe, A Grandmother with Many Roles.
Grandparenting in today’s world is both a privilege and a learning curve. From the joys of bonding with grandchildren to adapting to modern parenting styles, Ambassador Nimi Akinkugbe shares her heartfelt experiences and valuable insights. As a doting grandmother, accomplished professional, and proud mother, she reflects on the surprises, challenges, and deep fulfillment that come with this new role. Whether it’s embracing technology, passing down traditions, or simply relishing the little moments, her journey is filled with wisdom and warmth.
Can you share more about all the hats you wear?
I wear many hats! I am a wife, mother, grandmother, and also serve in various professional and advisory capacities. My background in banking and finance has led me to work in corporate governance, financial literacy, and social impact. I am also a mentor, board member, and advocate for empowering women and youth in financial decision-making. But my most treasured role is that of a grandmother!
What has been an Unexpected Part of Grandparenting?
Becoming a grandma has been an amazing experience. The depth of the way I feel about my two gorgeous grandsons has surprised me! It’s a unique bond that feels different from how I felt as a parent. There’s such joy in the little moments; watching them play, hearing their laughter, and simply holding them close.
One of the greatest pleasures is the freedom to spoil them! As a strict mum, I never imagined I’d be sneaking them extra cookies before bedtime or planning surprise ice cream outings after school. Being the fun grandparent feels so liberating, and their pure delight makes it all worthwhile.
I love being involved in their lives, offering guidance and support while letting their parents handle the more serious stuff! Of course, I can’t help but worry when they’re unwell or fretful, but the magic of being a grandma allows me to nurture them and enjoy the good moments without the pressures of full-time parenting.
What do you love most about your grandchildren and the grandparenting experience?
I absolutely adore their boundless curiosity. My older grandson asks questions non-stop, and his sense of wonder makes me see the world through fresh eyes and appreciate the beauty in everyday moments. Every time we spend quality time playing, reading bedtime stories, or visiting a playground, it is like a whole new adventure full of excitement and laughter. There’s never a dull moment with them, and I cherish these precious life-long memories that we are creating together.
Watching them grow into their unique personalities is such a delight. The older boy is more outgoing and playful, while the younger one is more reserved and takes his time to warm up. Every milestone, from crawling to taking those first steps, to saying new words feels like a celebration! I love being the fun, supportive grandmother who’s always there to listen and offer some guidance.
Watching my precious daughter Kaline navigate motherhood is pure joy. She is an amazing mother, loving, firm and present. I am so proud of how she manages her lovely family and home alongside her demanding career as a musician. Observing her and Michael, they make a great team, as they raise their boys in today’s challenged world.
Can you tell us one of the funniest things your grandchildren have done or said?
Two come to mind. When he was just 18 months old, he would stroll into a room, immediately scan for the “Alexa” device, and then ask it to sing “Baa Baa Black Sheep” or any nursery rhymes he liked. I sat there speechless, half-amused and half-terrified that technology might be replacing good old Grandma!
Not long ago, while I was traveling, I had a phone call with him. He started with, “Where did you go?” I was thrilled that he’d missed me. When I asked him about school, he responded with, “There’s an excavator.” I thought I misheard him, so I asked, “What did you say?” He repeated, “Excavator!”
Still confused, I prompted him some more, and he explained, “Building construction, Grandma.” I nearly fell out of my chair laughing! Apparently, the road outside his school was under construction, making drop-offs quite challenging. Then he sweetly asked, “Grandma, can you help us?” His innocence and humour truly light up my day! I’m impressed with the knowledge three-year-olds have these days!
Let’s talk Parenting Styles, and Generational Differences, Do you and your children have the same parenting style?
While we share core values and principles, naturally our parenting styles may differ on occasion. It’s fascinating to see how parenting evolves with each generation responding to societal changes and cultural shifts. But at the core is the desire to raise happy, healthy, and well-adjusted children.
They embrace a more modern approach. Their children are encouraged to express their feelings and opinions in an environment where they feel heard and understood. I think this is a very good thing. They’ve also incorporated technology as a way of life.
My approach as a young mother was more authoritative, focusing on respect and obedience. I still lean towards traditional methods although I am worlds away from my parents’ strict almost uncompromising style.
I’m still learning to adapt to this new parenting landscape, where threatening looks, harsh tones, and spanking are banned and said to affect a child’s self-esteem. As a “Naija Mum” raised by two of the best, it’s hard to adapt sometimes. I hope we eventually reach a parenting compromise incorporating the best of African parenting, paired with accepted global standards!
Would you say being a grandparent is easier or harder than being a parent?
Being a grandparent often feels easier than being a parent, as I can relish the fun moments without the daily caregiving responsibilities. I love spoiling my grandchildren and sharing joyful experiences while leaving the discipline largely to their parents! I can enjoy their company, play with them, and then hand them back to their parents when it’s time to go home!
Having raised my three children with some success, I think I bring a wealth of experience to my role as a grandparent. I feel better equipped to offer guidance based on my parenting journey, knowing what worked and what didn’t. Because of this experience, I don’t sweat the small stuff the same way I did when I was just learning to be a parent.
Occasionally, I naturally want to practice my own more traditional parenting style, which might differ from my children’s. I sometimes struggle with wanting to impose my views, such as not understanding why they should braid my grandson’s hair, while also respecting their parenting choices! (laughs). Balancing being involved without overstepping can be tricky sometimes, but the joy makes it all worthwhile.
As a grandmother, balancing being involved without overstepping can be tricky sometimes, but the joy makes it all worthwhile. Share on X
What have you learned about preparing children to thrive in the future?
In my children’s early years, I was intentional about exposing them to a wide range of extra-curricular activities. Identifying children’s strengths and talents early and being proactive about nurturing them is important. Developing their creativity through their skills and talents is vital for their future success.
Teaching children how to cope with setbacks and challenges early builds resilience, an essential life skill in today’s world. Building self-confidence and perseverance are essential traits for thriving in life, and I think one should be intentional about this.
Strong communication skills are also crucial in today’s world. They should be able to express themselves, listen attentively, and engage in discussions. Critical thinking may be a buzzword, but it is essential for this generation. Being able to ask questions and analyze information to make informed decisions is a highly sought-after skill.
Critical thinking may be a buzzword, but it is essential for this generation. Being able to ask questions and analyze information to make informed decisions is a highly sought-after skill. Share on X
I have been an advocate for teaching children about money. Learning about wants and needs, saving, investing, and borrowing can be taught through play, and these skills last a lifetime. We are systematically establishing financial literacy extracurricular school clubs in Lagos to ensure that children can step out into the world of work with some knowledge of money management. I want my grandchildren to learn about money from their earliest years.
As a musician who started piano lessons at the age of three, I cannot express enough how much value music has brought to my life. Whether as a hobby or as a means of livelihood, playing a musical instrument and developing an appreciation for music opens doors and builds relationships. My grandsons have a gifted musician for a mother, so I have no doubt that they will be musical. My grandson already has a lovely voice and sings in tune!
As technology continues to evolve, children need to be digitally literate. This means not only being able to use technology effectively but also understanding its implications, including online safety and the impact of social media. My son-in-law is a brilliant tech entrepreneur, so our grandchildren are already being raised in that environment.
Are You Making any Efforts to Stay Connected with Gen Alpha Grandkids?
I believe I need to stay abreast of the latest technology and trends as they affect younger generations. This involves engaging with platforms and tools that are popular among them, including social media, apps, and educational platforms.
Actively communicating with my grandchildren about their interests, challenges, experiences, and values as they grow should help me better understand them and their world. I will try to create an environment where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.
I hope that taking an interest in their activities and hobbies, whether it’s technology, sports, or the creative arts, will help me connect with them on a deeper level as I learn to value what matters to them.
We’re curious, are you optimistic about technology, or are you more concerned about the negatives?
Yes, I am generally optimistic about technology, recognizing its vast potential to enhance learning and its ability to connect people globally. However, I also have concerns about the negative aspects that come with it, such as screen overexposure, the impact of social media on mental health, and the dangers of misinformation and fake news, which can significantly affect young people’s well-being.
I believe finding a healthy balance between embracing technology and managing its risks is crucial. Teaching children to use technology mindfully and promoting offline activities can help address these issues. Additionally, encouraging responsible digital citizenship is essential; this includes educating children about online etiquette, privacy, and critical thinking when consuming content.
I’m pleased that my grandchildren enjoy a lot of outdoor play. Sadly, these days, children seldom have the huge gardens with climbing trees that we enjoyed growing up, but we must get them to appreciate being outdoors—it’s so important for their health and well-being.
I am very hopeful that we can harness technology’s benefits while at the same time addressing its challenges. We want them to thrive in a technology-driven world while also being aware of its potential pitfalls, which can be extreme.
Let’s talk about Passing Down Traditions. What are some values that are most important to you?
Traditions and values shape who we are, and a few stand out for me. Family values are fundamental to my life. Growing up in a close-knit family has made me deeply appreciate the importance of strong connections, and I feel blessed to have married into a family that shares these ideals. The bonds we share are truly special—love, support, togetherness.
I am pleased to see my children develop similar connections, and I hope this will be the same for my grandchildren. Family values provide a solid foundation with that sense of belonging that nurtures our well-being and the confidence of knowing you can navigate life’s challenges together.
Integrity is important to me. This means being honest and true to my word and actions, even under challenging circumstances. It builds trust and sets a strong example for our children, teaching them responsibility and accountability and the importance of standing by their values.
My faith in God and prayer are central to my values. They provide me with strength and guidance. Through prayer, I find solace, clarity, and security that help me navigate life’s challenges.
Okay You look great, so we need your Self-Care Tips for Grandmothers.
I love playing some of my favorite pieces on the piano. It allows me to express my emotions and unwind. Tending to my garden is another favorite; nurturing plants and creating a beautiful space brings me peace, tranquility, and a sense of accomplishment. I love to just sit and take it all in, enjoy indulging in spa days, which help me to relax completely and recharge. But I wish I had learned about the importance of self-care and well-being decades ago. I urge our young mums to put themselves at the top of their priority list.
One more question before you go, What Do You Love About LagosMums?
LagosMums has become a reliable support system for thousands of mothers. From the invaluable guidance and practical tips that empower us to navigate the increasingly challenging world of parenting, it has become a resource that is just a click away.
LagosMums has created a space where parents can share experiences and learn from one another. Their commitment to nurturing this supportive environment enriches our understanding of modern parenting for both parents and grandparents such as myself.
I am particularly pleased about Yetty Williams’ new book, Digital Savvy Parenting, which is so timely. It addresses the concerns we all have from screen time concerns to building healthy habits in these digital citizens, our children and grandchildren.
I am particularly pleased about Yetty Williams’ new book, Digital Savvy Parenting, which is so timely. It addresses the concerns we all have from screen time concerns to building healthy habits in these digital citizens, our children and… Share on X
Just knowing that beyond family and friends, there is a powerful resource to be consulted brings comfort. Together, we can embrace the joys and challenges of raising our children in a rapidly changing world.
We are excited to launch Lagos Mums Grand Mum of the Month as a special addition to our Mum of the Month series! This segment celebrates the wisdom, experiences, and love that grandmothers bring to their families and communities.
Are you a grandparent navigating this new phase of life? Share your experiences, tips, and challenges with the Lagos Mums community! Connect with us on social media, leave a comment, or join one of our engaging discussions on parenting, grandparenting, and family life.