Our Lagosmums mum of the month is Jemine Daibo. She is a mum to four amazing children and a loving wife to her husband. She is a parenting coach, founder of WarriMom, an activist, a teacher and so much more; we really enjoyed talking with her, as she shared about herself and her family. Read more about this amazing mum as she shares her passions and her motherhood experience so far.
Please tell us about yourself?
My name is Anne-Marie Jemine Daibo, also know as WarriMom.
Can you share all the hats/roles that you wear?
I’m a teacher, a parenting coach, a politician, an activist, and of course a mum.
Tell us about your beautiful family.
I am married with four kids. We are a close-knit family, although we are not always together, we are doing alright by God’s grace.
What are some ways that children and parenting are different from when you were growing up and now?
I think it depends on how you grew up and the home you grew up in. I grew up in a home where I was allowed to speak; my father said, “read your books, you really don’t have to cook”, he hated us being in the kitchen. We had a liberal home where we had a voice. I remember when my grandma comes to pick me up from school. When I see I will just frown my face because I knew we were going to walk from my school to the house; she will then bring out a kobo to show me she has taxi fare but she wants us to walk. Also, I didn’t grow up eating together with my siblings, we had our own plates and eat on the table; my grandmother didn’t really get it, she didn’t buy it, she was like, we were spoilt.
'You should take your child out and try to pick out a lesson from things and ordeals. Parents can do better and do more.' - WarriMom Click To Tweet
Children these days have so much, so there’s so much difference between growing up then and now. Brought up in the kind of home that I grew up in, my children have like an improved advanced edition, of the way I was raised. But, in the normal setting, you find out that it’s different. When we were growing up, children are not meant to really speak. My father was somebody that would take you out to see what the world was about; to teach you. I remember when I went to Lagos with him, in the 80s; he would tell me to look ahead and see who is coming, to be vigilant, and so on.
I think that most parents are really not doing that, they are doing so much as in giving their children, material things, but they’re not teaching them life lessons; you should take your child out and try to pick out a lesson from things and ordeals. Parents can do better and do more.
What do you love the most about your job? How did you get started?
I love my job because I make an impact, I change lives, I always try to deposit something in the people I teach. How did I get started? I think it was just divine. I’ve been teaching church Sunday school, informally and then teaching holiday lessons then, teaching students in secondary schools.
Tell us about your experience as a @Warrimom
Wow, my experience as WarriMom; that one is plenty sha. They call me English mistress because they say I speak too much English; in this part of the world, the language of communication is pidgin. So some things I see as a result of teaching in public schools are things you really cannot talk about. Sometimes I get home and I shed tears because of the situation of the Nigerian educational system, the attitude of poor parents in raising their children; they do not care and they are not involved. They rant about the government, but they will contribute money, what they call Esusu here, and they collect the money to buy clothes to go to a party; they’re not involved in what affects their children, they don’t come to check their children in school, nothing.
So I just said since I’m on Instagram, let me do something; let me use the pidgin language because it’s the language of communication here. Now Instagram is a whole other village. My experience is that I really have not been able to put in the time to really share all the stories I see offline, but I’ve met wonderful people like LagosMums; and I have had so many conversations in the DM, that don’t even come out as posts. I’ve seen society in a different light and I’m happy for it; I even get talking with people on the street who recognize me as WarriMom, so I have learned a lot.
Can you share one way the pandemic has affected you? either professionally or personally
The way it affected me was that it took me back to God like a 100 meters dash. It made me connect with my maker again
How are you raising your children to be ready for an ever-changing world?
It is a bit hard because I’m much more liberal than my husband. But I believe that my children can be anything they want to be. If they say they want to be cooking MoiMoi or frying Akara, I’m ready. I have bought musical instruments, If they want to play the guitar or piano we will get t for them. They are just surfing through the process and I as a parent have decided by God’s grace to be there; because the world is changing and we don’t know where we’re going to so we’re preparing our children. I tell them, ‘just do what you know you are comfortable with, I will support you.
What has motherhood taught you about yourself?
It has taught me to be responsible, that I can do more and to be prayerful. Those things I took for granted, I don’t do that again. I wake up in the night, to lay my hands on my children to pray for them. It has taught me that there are people that God has given to me that I need to look and be responsible for, and it’s a must, whether I like it or not.
Can you tell us some of the funniest things your children have done?
Yeah, my children are very funny, something happened some time ago, their father said it was not funny but to me it was. Their father was going out, and they say ‘daddy take us out, take us out!’. As he was just going out, they got into the trunk of the car and followed him. As he got to where he was going, they jumped out and shouted ‘tada!’; he was shocked, and I was looking for them, eventually finding out they conspired to do that. They do a lot of funny things but that was one funny thing that they did.
How do you balance work and parenting? Is it possible to achieve this?
I teach in a public school, I live in Warri, so it’s easy. I resumed at eight and I close early; in between that time, I can take an excuse from work to do some things. Sometimes I have a full day without a class. But for people that do the nine to five, maybe bankers, or the civil service, I see them and admire them because it would be really hectic. People that have hectic schedules, need to look out for the support that they need; it’s possible to balance your work and parenting.
I’m trying to get my doctorate right now so it’s been crazy; I have to read, go to work, make excuses, change my timetable, do all that and come to pick my kids by five. So I seek the support of the school and people around me to help.
How important is a support system for a mum? Who is in your Tribe and What kind of support do you have?
Support is something that a lot of parents, especially mothers do not try to harness. When you do not trust people, you will not get the support that you need. One of the first things every mum should learn is to learn how to trust; you have workers, security guards, your mom, your sisters-in-law, your seniors, friends, and so on; every mum should harness those relationships around her. For instance, you’re working in the bank and you have cleaners that come clean in the mornings and evenings; by discernment, every mom should pray for the spirit of discernment; by discernment, you know the person that you can flow with. For me, that’s the kind of tribe I roll with most especially my mom and my sister.
Use one word to describe one thing that should not be missing from every home?
That is understanding; learn to understand each other.
Share one self-care tip. How do you relax and spend time on yourself?
Just enjoy yourself, relax when you need to relax, take yourself out, unwind, and spend time on yourself. I laid on my bed I watch TV and then I read. I read a lot of books. Another way I enjoy myself is that I will just take myself out to go eat ready-made Banga soup or big fish outside. Some men may be looking at me somehow, but I’m enjoying myself and I’ll laugh about it
Can you tell us how you stay stylish/your beauty routine?
I don’t have a beauty routine, I’m trying to start one now; I just use Vaseline, that’s what I use. No time to check the time, I don’t have time for a beauty routine, I’m not going to lie.
What do you love about LagosMums?
Yetty is a humble woman and a digital woman; not a lot of women are about digital but she is. She respects people, it is something I noticed about her, and for that, I say thank you. She knows what she’s doing regarding parenting, and I like that about her.
N1million or more sleep?
If I have N1million I will sleep; who sleep epp.
Go on a shopping spree or an all-expenses-paid trip to your top destination?
My dream destination is Sambisa forest so that is cancelled, I’ll take the shopping spree
Home-schooling or traditional school?
A spa day or Eat out?
Eat out, and let me tell you a secret, I have never been to a spa. so count me in for eating out.