LagosMums Mum of the Month – Stephanie Coker Aderinokun

Our Lagosmums mum of the month for February 2022, is Stephanie Coker-Aderinokun. Mum to a wonderful child, a wife, a Presenter, Actor, TV Host, Producer and Author.

Please tell us about yourself

My name is Stephanie Coker Aderinokun, I am a mother, a wife and I wear many hats.

Can you tell us all the hats you wear?

I am a presenter and I have been presenting for a decade, I started off on Cool FM and moved to television. When I moved to Nigeria I started on radio and moved to MTV base. I acted in Tinsel; a popular soap opera in Nigeria. I also starred in Ebony Life tv when they first started and I was part of their first ever reality show called Sisters and went on to host many other shows for them including ‘Wardrobe Diaries ‘.

Also, I am a Producer, since I moved to Nigeria; my main objective has been to celebrate and show off how beautiful and rich our cultures are. Moving to Nigeria; you start to see what’s happening in Nigeria and my passion to showcase who we are led me to a documentary I did in December in Lagos, which not only highlighted the great ‘dirty December’ but also showed the real life and dates the struggles in Nigeria. I featured in the Kemi Adetiba series-King Of Boys 2 and Alakada produced by Toyin Abraham.

Most importantly, I am a wife and a mum and juggling these hats have been tasking. I am a mother to a two year old and I have been married for five years now. I am still trying to navigate the many other hats I wear and just have time for a rethink. As a mum, to be honest, once you put your attention and energy into one area at the expense of another, you would realise something else is lacking. I am still trying to navigate that and split myself in 4 places and achieve a balance as much as I can.

Tell Us About Your Beautiful Family.

I have been married for five years. I have a daughter. My husband is into property development and also politics and we have a foundation called Urban X in Ogun State and we are focused on young children. We have actually given or granted 50 students payments for their WAEC exams. We have also given women selling in the market loans that they actually don’t have to pay back so they are more like grants.

How did you meet your husband and how long have you been married?

I met him in a bar, not a bar but a restaurant actually. I was waiting for Tee Bills so I could have a meeting with him but he didn’t show up. Then, there was this gentleman man in the restaurant who kept staring at me and asked the waitress to keep harassing me and asking me if I wanted to eat. I already had a chapman but he insisted that I had something to eat, and the waitress wanting to get her tip was like “Madam please just order”. I ordered a takeaway, thanked him and gave him my business card. From then on, it’s been quite a journey. We got married five years ago but I have known him for eight years.

Do you and your spouse have the same parenting style?

I don’t know because thinking of it; I feel like he is more lenient but disciplinary. He is quite soft and you know he is aa girl dad so they get to spoil the girls and I am a bit more like, “No, you can’t have that”. We are quite similar to be honest but I seem very attached, you know, as a mum you birthed them, they come out of you directly so it’s just like from then on everything changes but I feel like with men; they can just get up and go. It’s always gonna be a bit different.

Can you tell us one of the funniest things your child has done?

Oh my Gosh! It is when she doesn’t want to leave school. She has done this like twice now. She sits on the floor in school and when I come to pick her, she doesn’t want to leave. The other day; she actually sat outside of school and said no she wasn’t leaving. The interesting thing was the next morning, she refused to go into school, My husband and I found her indecisive behaviour very funny, because one minute, she didn’t want to leave school, the next minute, she didn’t want to leave the house. She likes to say no a lot. As her mum, I find it so funny and interesting, because she’s quite stern despite her indecision. She displays such firmness for one so young.

What do you love the most about your job and all the many expressions of your purpose and passion?

Firstly, I love the fact that I can meet and relate with with different people from all works of life, class and status. It is just very interesting because it’s a way for you to really live life. Being able to talk to people at the top for example, celebrities and politicians or talking to people at the lower end of the spectrum (day to day people), gaining knowledge from different types of people as well. Reason is when you conduct an interview, you also glean a lot of wisdom, knowledge, interesting opinions and point of views. It gives you a better perspective of the world you live in.

I am also really passionate about teaching young people with an ambition to go into presenting. For example; I have a presenting academy where I teach young aspiring tv presenters the craft. I am really passionate about presenting and when I see young talents, it’s just so beautiful because sometimes they don’t know the gift that they have or how well they are going to do and seeing them gives me so much joy and it’s very fulfilling to see the talents we have in Nigeria especially. It is really just meeting different people in all works of life that I enjoy.

Did you always know that you were going to be in the entertainment industry?

Yeah; I kind of did because I was always acting. Growing up in the UK, I had my mum take me to a drama school. I always loved to dance in front of people. I was a very expressive child, I was not shy at all. When I started studying media in secondary school, my teacher said “Oh, you will be a great journalist because you love talking and you are so free in front of anyone, everyone and different types of people!” So, that was what I was doing and I stuck to it. Getting internship and work experience nowadays is different because of how the world has evolved. You know, people can get to where they are going just via an app like Instagram. If someone sees you doing great content, there you go but back in the days, it was more like work experience, internship and things like that. So yeah, definitely; it did feel I was going to get into the entertainment industry.

What are the ways child parenting are different from when you were growing up and now?

In times past, I would say parents were not as open to listening to their children. I think they were commanding and telling them what to do but now, parents are learning to listen and understand. Also, mental health has been taken more seriously and it is great because now children are more expressive. If someone for example, touches a child inappropriately, they are a bit more expressive. Parents are now having “uncomfortable” conversations to prevent things from happening. A lot of of adults, now talk of things that happened to them growing up and it is because they didn’t know any better. These things were not really taught to them, people are more open. Even the fact that we make gest of Nigerian parenting in skits and comedy, just to show we are talking more and even parents back then are seeing that okay, they were a little bit hard and harsh so we are learning.

Notwithstanding, I do feel there are some of the qualities of parenting back then that I will still keep teaching my child. Such as the importance of respecting their elders. I noticed it’s getting lost a bit with this whole “Having respect for young people as well”. Yeah, respect is vice versa, but it is very important because when you get older you expect people to respect you as well. So we as parents should continue to teach that . Another thing is, just because we have access to most things doesn’t mean that we give the kids too. It is what is happening a lot now. For example, being financially buoyant and buying things to make them happy. It has to change and be replaced with spending quality time with them.

...just because we have access to most things doesn't mean that we give the kids too... For example, being financially buoyant and buying things to make them happy. It has to change and be replaced with spending quality time with them. Click To Tweet

Can you share how the pandemic has affected you either professionally or personally? What is your one takeaway?

I think it has affected me positively because it has given me a fresh outlook on life. As much as I am a goal getter and love reaching goals, it is very important to really live life and live in the moment, to be grateful and tell people you love them and also not just be afraid to meet people. Though I am a presenter, my personality is caring about people so if you become my friend, I love you and I can do anything for you. I am also a Sagittarian. We are everywhere but we are also guarded and try to guard ourselves from people not getting too close sometimes, you would meet people and things are may not work. You have to still be willing to open yourself to meeting great people and having long term friendships and relationships. It has taught me about gratitude, thankfulness and how blessed I am. Also, the pandemic taught me not to procrastinate because I tend to put things off and I had to learn to do it now or never.

How are you raising your child to be ready for an ever-changing world?

I just want her to be a very vocal and confident girl, because the world is changing and that for the better. In the department of representation, she is a young black girl and I want her to be confident in herself. I want her to know she can achieve whatever she puts her mind to. It’s imperative for me to give her good education. It is a bit easier. Although, education is not everything. There are people that are successful and they didn’t go to school “granted”! However, I believe to be a confident person, it’s great to be educated. So those are the tools I am equipping her with (confidence, education and I always speak to her like she understands).

I also wrote a book Ariella And The Talking Drum. Basically, I am getting her ready by showing her the world she lives in and the book has details about Lagos and it’s beautiful places and scenery. The book teaches about contentment and culture, as well as being happy and contented. I gifted it to her on her second birthday but ultimately to teach her to be proud of the skills and talents she has.

How do you balance work being a top professional in the entertainment industry, a business woman, an author and parenting?

Oh my gosh! I am also a children author and I just find a way of balancing everything, doing what I can and leaving the rest. I have 24 hours in a day and really try to put my daughter first in everything I am doing. If I know it’s gonna disrupt her, I just don’t do it. Like I said, I have a great support system and that barely happens. I think every woman if they have got it right should write a book about parenting.

Balancing everything is just like a pendulum. It doesn’t ever get balanced unless it stops when I sleep, so it’s just trying to do my best as a mother, a career woman and other hats and not to beat up myself about what I can’t do.

Share one self-care tip. How do you relax and spend time on yourself?

As a mum, I make sure I look good, go do my hair, get a massage, get regular facials and take time out to be by myself . So I make sure I feel good. When I feel good; I look good. When I look good; I do good

So I make sure I feel good. When I feel good; I look good. When I look good; I do good Click To Tweet

Can you tell us how you stay stylish and what’s your beauty routine as a mum?

So I do facials every month, I get facial hair removal, I make sure my nails and hair are done, I always update my wardrobe. I do that occasionally to get rid of clothing I don’t use anymore so basically I declutter my wardrobe and bring new things and then declutter again. My husband would say “if you haven’t worn a clothing in 6 months, then it doesn’t belong to you anymore, so if I notice that I am not wearing the clothing I get rid of it or give it out.

LagosMums Mum of the Month – Stephanie Coker Aderinokun Click To Tweet

What do you love about LagosMums?

I love that it is a wholistic community for mums, because once you are pregnant ,you feel everything is about pregnant women and pregnancy. You being in that space and you start to wonder and be like why do they not pay enough attention to pregnant women but when you come out here you totally forget what it’s like to be pregnant.

Having a community like Lagosmums is an all rounder and I love it so much because that is where women get to learn and find out what other women are doing as a mum. We understand ourselves and I love the knowledge they are sharing within themselves as Lagosmums and the fact that it is unique.

Would you prefer to go on a shopping spree or an all-expense-paid trip to your dream destination?

All expenses paid to my dream destination.

A spa day or Eat Out?

I love food but I choose the spa day and get my chef to cook something nice.

It was so lovely learning more from our mum of the month, Stephanie Coker Aderinokun. Thank you for sharing with us. You can connect with Stephanie Coker Aderinokun here.