Our Lagosmums mum of the month, is Titilola Tewe. Mum to two wonderful children, a wife, a Certified Family Life Coach, certified SYMBIS Assessment Facilitator and Author.
Please tell us about yourself
I’m a fun-loving woman who has a passion for business and families. I love to help people build healthy relationships, first with themselves and then, others. I am married with two children.
Can you tell us all the hats you wear?
I am an author. I love to write and have written and published 3 books – ‘The Preferred Life’, ‘The Father’s Girls’ and ‘Fit for Purpose’.
Currently, I run a Marriage Preparation program and our goal is to help intending and married couples build and maintain the right foundation for a healthy family. In addition to this, I have the Pajama Party Series, Tiaras and Cupcakes (A club for girls aged 6-11), and ‘The Father’s Girl’ – A ministry to ladies who’s had a past that lets them know of the Father’s love and the fact that they can always have a beautiful beginning
Listening Ear was a platform I created to help girls and ladies feel free to talk to someone without being judged or condemned. Ladies go through a lot and just wish they had someone they could trust and open up to. A support system that also gives unbiased wise counsel. Through this platform, we have saved marriages, helped girls escape from abusers, and also helped marriages and families heal.
Share one unexpected thing about you?
I have superpowers. I can write a book about any child and make them feel like the best superhero in the world. If you need this service, you can slide into my DM ????????????
Tell Us About Your Beautiful Family.
We are a family of four. I have a son and daughter; 15 and 12 years old respectively.
How did you meet your husband?
I met my husband through a friend. He was invited to church, we became friends, dated for two and a half years, and have been married for sixteen years.
Do you and your spouse have the same parenting style?
We both oscillate between authoritative and permissive parenting styles. There are times we put down our feet for things to be done when they have to, and sometimes, we just give them a breather, but not when it’s going to have a negative effect or make them embrace the wrong values or attitude.There are times we put down our feet for things to be done when they have to, and sometimes, we just give them a breather... Click To Tweet
What do you love the most about your job and all the many expressions of your purpose and passion?
I love the fact that I can help individuals and families believe in love. The fact that something that looks broken can be mended again.
What has it been like being a Certified Family Life Coach and what does it mean to be a Certified SYMBIS Assessment Facilitator?
SYMBIS is an acronym for ‘Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts’ created by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, and have both created an assessment that aids coaches and counsellors in providing guidance for intending and married couples. I got certified as a facilitator of the tool after going through the required training and passing the exams
With the reports generated from the assessment, I can help couples explore a full range of issues – from relatively simple and static dimensions such as longevity of the relationship, critical skill-sets such as communication, and all of the complexities of joining two sets of personality dynamics. It provides a personalized insight on answers given by couples and explores how they can leverage the unique combination of their personalities for lifelong love. This process is completely confidential and the results of the couple’s assessments are held privately and will never be made public.
Can you share how the pandemic has affected you either professionally or personally? What is your one takeaway?
I transited from being an employee to owning my own business and being a full-time coach, so it has given me more time for myself, my family, more money, and more opportunities.
What are some ways that children and parenting are different from when you were growing up and now?
Growing up children were not really allowed to express themselves. It was like a taboo, when you talked or tried to ask or question things, you were seen to be disrespectful or termed as having no home training; you couldn’t question an adult. Nowadays, things are different. Children are more expressive and can ask you some of the dandiest things. As parents, what do you do? You may cringe inside but ensure that you listen to them and give them a logical response to what they’re saying or asking to know about.
How are you raising your children to be ready for an ever-changing world?
This is a difficult question to ask because the world is changing per second. The world is not the same as it was when you started reading this article, and quite different from the way it was when we were growing up. Nevertheless, what we try to do first is to keep reminding them of who they are. They belong to God and we ensure that the right environment is maintained for them to imbibe this reality.
Then we make sure we’re the examples of what we’re asking them to do. We ensure we do what we say and say what we do. Also, we ensure we spend time together as a family and not live in the virtual world. We’ve had to get board games and engage in physical activities that engender fellowship.
We surround ourselves with the right people who they can look up to.We make sure we’re the examples of what we’re asking them to do...we spend time together as a family and not live in the virtual world. Click To Tweet
How do you balance work, (being a founder of The Father’s Girls and Moments with Aunty Lola/your work as a coach etc) and parenting? Is it possible to achieve this?
I treat all my initiatives as one company and see each one as a different unit of the entity. So I deal with each one as the need arises or prioritize as I deem fit, but make sure that no part of the company is left out.
What has motherhood taught you about yourself?
I see myself as a custodian. Motherhood for me is God entrusting his children to me to nurture and guide as they grow in life. I believe it is my responsibility to help them live to their full potential and become who God has called them to be
Use one word to describe one thing that should not be missing from every home.
Communication – Listening and responding to what is being communicated. Listening is a skill and many times people don’t listen. We will have better relationships if spouses will listen to each other and parents, their children. Try to feel their pulse, know what they’re saying, read their body language and make it easy for them to speak their minds. That way, thoughts are heard, desires are met and no one is left behindCommunication – Listening and responding to what is being communicated...try to feel their pulse, know what they’re saying, read their body language and make it easy for them to speak their minds. Click To Tweet
Share one self-care tip. How do you relax and spend time on yourself?
I take a lot of walks and drink natural teas. To destress, I like massages, I get one as often as I can.
Can you tell us how you stay stylish and what’s your beauty routine as a mum?
I am not one to jump on fashion trends, I wear things that fit my body type and style. I see something I like and I go for it.
What do you love about LagosMums?
I love the way they take the stress off parents by sourcing relevant information and making it available to us parents. I enjoy their recipes and parenting articles.
If you had to choose between 1million Naira or more sleep?
N1 million naira.
Would you prefer to go on a shopping spree or an all-expense-paid trip to your dream destination?
An all-expense-paid trip to my dream destination
Homeschooling or traditional school?
A spa day or Eat Out?
A spa day.
It was so lovely learning more from our mum of the month, Titilola Tewe. Thank you for sharing with us. You can connect with Titilola Tewe here.
Happy New Year!
Read Also: Lagosmums mum of the Month- Stephanie Coker