Hajara Pitan

LM Mum Of The Month: Hajara Pitan

Meet Our Mum of the Month: Hajara Pitan

LagosMums interviews Hajara Pitan, a mum, lawyer, entrepreneur and blogger. Enjoy this exclusive interview with our Mum of the Month.

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Hajara PitanPlease introduce yourself

My name is Hajara Pitan, I am first, a child of God, a lover of life who is blessed with the gifts of a family, of motherhood and writing! I am a Lawyer by profession, an Entrepreneur and I make the most beautiful pure soy scented candles.

What do you love about motherhood?

For me, Motherhood is a gift! I see pregnancy as a great gift from God, where He allows us mere mortals, participate in the process of creation, with Him. I also see Motherhood as a “trust” that God has given you lives to mold, people to help Him shape into assets for humanity. I love the fact that you finally get to love unconditionally when you see your child for the first time and that as you love and nurture your children, you get to be loved unconditionally- for a while. LOL!

What scares you most about being a mother?

That I am not in total control! Is that bad? That I cannot protect my kids from never scraping a knee, from heart breaks, from life? I keep telling myself though, that it’s God who takes care of us all, so my responsibility is to teach- how to think for yourself, how to measure your reactions, how to be self-sufficient, so that when I am not there and when they encounter circumstances that they cannot control, the foundations are right for them to be able to get out of it.

Any embarrassing moment as a mother?

Oh my! I have too many. Let me share this one because it helped shaped my career decisions after I had my first child. So my son was about a year and half and we attended a friend’s bridal shower which I took him to. At this time, I was enjoying my work as a solicitor in a fantastic law firm, where I led a team of solicitors. My work involved long days, late nights and quite a bit of travel. Which is why I had taken him to the bridal shower in the first place, at the time, I used to tell people, “If you invite me for anything at the weekend, I can’t make it. I can only make it if I bring my son”, I was committed to spending weekends with him, since I did not get a lot of time during the week.Hajara Pitan LM Mum of Month

Anyhow, at this shower, my friends are looking at him, saying how cute he was, and saying he was so big, they remembered when he was in my round aeroplane-like tummy and the like. My son is staring at them admiring him, one of them says “Master Pitan”, the next thing he says is “na me be that!” My jaw dropped! Firstly, if you know me, lady-like, Queen’s English speaking somebody! Secondly, I had not even been spending enough time with him to even realize that he understood and could process all of the things they were saying. Thirdly, the fact that he could process and respond in pidgin;(you know you can speak a language when you can think in the language), showed me that the person who was influencing him the most was the nanny and not me.

By the next Monday, I was with my boss, negotiated a pay cut for shorter hours and the ability to work from home sometimes and because I was younger and probably not as mature as I am now, I expressed my hurt by firing the nanny too. 

What lessons have marriage taught you?

That my way is not the only right way. That I have a choice what I focus on- the struggles or the joys. And that what you focus on, will grow! Focus on your partner’s flaws, they’ll grow. Focus on his strengths and the good, they’ll grow. Is it easy? No, every day, you decide again to focus on what you want to see magnified.

How do you balance working and family? Does the word “balance” still exist?

I prefer harmony to balance. I think balance changes depending on what stage you are in your marriage, the age of your kids, career… So what I advocate is harmony, that at every stage, you find a way to focus on what is important, to work well when you are at work, but once home, focus on home. Incorporate flexibility and give quality time. One of the cardinal things I tell myself is that when I have a choice between “do-ing” and “be-ing”, I will chose “be-ing”, so to fold the kids’ clothes, make their food or do some chores. Can I have someone DO those? So that I can BE with the kids? Read with them? Play with them? I won’t be caught making lunch while the nanny is playing football when them, I will go and join in the play and create lasting memories…

What has your passion to profit journey been like?

That’s an interesting question that’s still unfolding. My passions are leadership and personal development, so I write a blog on the subject. That passion hasn’t turned into profit yet, on that I am focused on impact. You can read my writings on www.hajelpitan.com.

TresAmoreMy other passion is to help you make beautiful impressions through the art of giving, so I co-own along with my husband, a company called Tes Amour, where we package the most exquisite gift items and present them beautifully on behalf of our clients. Tes Amour also makes beautiful soy scented massage candles, and we started to make those because being from the North, I enjoy scents and the use of scents to create an ambiance. However, I suffer allergies and realized that any time I had multiple nice candles burning in different rooms of the house, I would break out into continuous sneezing and sometimes break out in a rash.

So I started to research and found out that pure soy candles will not trigger allergic reactions because they are pure and environmentally friendly- the allergies were as a result of additives like paraffin or synthetic scents. Anyhow, to cut a long story short, we started to experiment with making our own soy candles and mixing them with only pure premium essential oils bought from the North called “bahur” and voila, I could enjoy them without any reactions. 

Soon people who visited us started to ask how they could get those candles, and that’s how our line of premium soy candles was born. We have now grown into commercial production and distribution of our candles. Tes Amour candles are themed to the tribes of Nigeria and for now, we have Gimbiya which means Princess in Hausa, Ada for the East and Olori for the West.

How do you relax?LagosMums relax

Reading with a cup of tea and a Tes Amour Candle lit in the background. Playing with my kids. Massages.

What makes LagosMums unique?

LagosMums is doing an awesome job, creating a forum for mothers who want to raise great balanced kids to learn, share ideas and reach resources on one platform. Thank you Lagos Mums for the great work you are doing, creating a platform for intentional parenting and directing us to resources and tools to be better parents to the precious gifts that God has entrusted to us.

What is your philosophy of life? 

Philosophy, hmm! Okay, I have 2 thoughts that constantly play in my mind and through the things I do. One is “to know God and to make Him known”. The other is to be the kind of person I would like to meet- someone inspiring, encouraging and who is living life full out.

How do you stay focused or grounded?

Focused! I have loads and loads of big sisters through the Inspired Women of Worth Network, where I am the international coordinator, who hold me accountable to living and achieving my goals. And who expect that we live with integrity and authenticity. They help me stay focused.

Grounded. I tell God all the time that “I am sheep”, what’s there not to be grounded about really? Everything I own, have experienced or even my gifts have been bestowed on me by God. I have a part in nurturing and growing them but nothing I own is truly mine, everything is a trust. That grounds me.

What is your parenting style? 

I am a much attached mum, I would say. My fundamental belief is that I am not trying to raise great kids, I am raising kids who will be great adults. So in childhood, you lay the foundations, principles, Godliness and independence of thought that allows them become the full individuals that God created to be. I also believe in kids learning to earn, save, tithe and buy some of their own desires from home, so my kid has a chore table, he gets paid N50 for certain chores and from there he can buy toys, tithe at month end, loan Mummy some money- he has offered to use his 500 Naira to buy me a car before. Lol! (I say LOL a lot).

I love the book “The Boy who changed the world” by Andy Andrews for reading with your kids and I recommend this post on parenting 

Thank you for talking to me. I appreciate what LagosMums is doing and I am privileged to be interviewed on this platform.
Photo Source: Hajara Pitan
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