Resolving to be a better spouse

Being married is like being in school forever as an aunt of mine said “In marriage you never graduate” at different stages you learn something different about your spouse and surprisingly also learn about yourself too. You do have to commit to constantly improve your marriage and no better time to recommit to this than at the start of a New Year.

So in the line of meaningful and actionable resolutions here are some ways to improve your marriage

Improve your communication – this in itself can be general and a rather broad statement. Improvement in communication should be measurable. Communication means actually really hearing each other and listening with undivided attention to your spouse. So this new year make it achievable by deciding to assign sometime per day maybe thirty minutes maybe more where you and your spouse put away all distractions, that is no bb, no television, no kids in the background. This is time where you talk to each other and really communicate. Start with whatever amount of time you can on the communication chart and work yourself up.

Improve a flaw in yourself – we can all point fingers at something our spouse is doing wrong. What about picking something that is a flaw in your character or something that you know really bothers your spouse and decide to stop that. It could be the fact that you shed your hair in the sink that irritates your spouse…then decide to clean up after yourself daily. Remember the goal is to make this change manageable and achievable so don’t just say you resolve to be a better person, specify what better means and start with something that your spouse will appreciate.

Pray together – it is true as they say that a couple that prays together stays together. Praying together forms a spiritual bond and also brings you closer together. If you had not been praying together previously commit to praying together daily and use the opportunity to pray for each other. If it is easier to do it first thing in the morning, set your alarm, wake up a little earlier and spend sometime praying together.

Be more intimate – There is always room for more intimacy, one of the first areas to go is intimacy, not just having sex but true intimacy. So determine to make more time for this in the new year. Decide to set aside regular date nights and this can be as simple as sending the children off to bed, closing the staff and starting with a date in your living room sharing a drink, listening to some music, talking and touching. Mark it into your calendars and even if the date has to change make sure to plan a rain check. It will take commitment and could mean you have to consciously decide to close earlier at work to make the date with your spouse.

Plan together – Life can just take over but it is important to stay connected and plan together. Plan to start a new hobby or plan a new goal together and set time apart to review these plans. This shows that you are committed to each other and interested in your future together. Hold yourselves accountable and check in regularly on how these plans are going. 

Lets try some of these steps or all and see what happens…..Here is to being a better spouse and having better marriages.

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