Do you have the right digital parenting style? Research shows that there are three distinct digital parenting styles. According to Alexandra Samuel, a researcher who conducted a two-year study on digital parenting, these three styles are limiting, enabling, and mentoring.
To the average parent, this doesn’t mean much—but it should. You fall into one of these three camps, and depending on which camp you fall into, you could be doing things all wrong.
Are you a limiter, enabler or mentor of your child’s digital experiences?
Enablers
Enablers allow their children to use devices freely. In these homes, there are usually a number of different devices (and device types), and everyone probably has their own screen. In ‘enabling’ homes, children are usually pretty tech-savvy and are responsible for setting their own rules around screen time. This approach is especially common among parents of teenagers.
If you are a digital enabler, you have a very relaxed attitude towards device use in your home. As far as you’re concerned, time spent online is beneficial to your child’s growth and learning experiences, whether through playing Minecraft, learning to code or simply playing around with apps and on the Internet. You think that trying to limit use will only cause drama and limit your child or teen’s learning experiences.
Limiters
Digital limiters are the exact opposite of enablers. Instead of giving free reins to tech use, limiters focus on limiting device and technology interactions as much as possible. Parents in this group are very fearful of the negative side effects of device use, worrying that screens will shorten their children’s attention spans, stunt social development, and cause physical, mental, and psychological issues. Limiters are most likely to be parents of children around preschool age.
If you’re a digital limiter, you are probably very concerned about the negative side effects of device use. You’ve heard that devices prevent quality sleep, cause cognitive issues and can lead to vision problems. You grew up without devices and turned out just fine, so why can’t your children? The more time spent outside, reading, or exploring hobbies away from tech, the better.
Mentors
Digital mentors fall in a sweet spot between digital limiters and digital enablers. They understand that children’s technology habits need to be balanced and guided. Mentors know that devices are here to stay, and shunning their use will do no good. Most parents of elementary school-aged children adopt a mentor approach.
If you are a digital mentor, you are keen on being involved in your child’s device use habits. You likely have screen time rules in place, especially at bedtime and during family meals. Conversations about online safety happen on a pretty regular basis, and you make an effort to connect with your child through technology, whether that’s by playing games together or using text or messaging apps to chat and connect with your kids. Parents who use OurPact are definitely ‘mentors’.
Which approach is best, and why?
According to Samuel, limiting and enabling digital parenting approaches are not beneficial for children.
While easy, an enabling approach does not help children and teens develop healthy device habits. Taking a ‘hands-off’ approach with technology prevents children and teens from learning the etiquette, rules, and boundaries around device use early on.
A limiting approach is, simply put, not realistic. Technology is a part of our society and undeniably a part of your child’s future. It forms the basis of how we communicate and learn. Ironically, even though parents in this group are most concerned about the negative risks associated with technology, children of limiters are the most likely to participate in inappropriate online activities; they are more likely than children of enablers and mentors to watch porn, post inappropriate content online and even attempt to impersonate peers online.
Mentors are best at helping their children develop healthy device habits. This approach allows children the freedom to explore and learn online while still developing a healthy and balanced digital appetite. Embracing children’s online lives by opening lines of communication and setting healthy boundaries is the approach most likely to raise ‘digitally responsible’ children.
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