“Strictly For Wives” written by Praise Fowowe
The book as the title suggests is written primarily for wives. The book covers practical steps and truths that can help a woman understand how to keep women outside from being a threat to her marriage and her husband. He discusses and explores some of the reasons behind unfaithfulness and has something for every wife no matter what stage you are in your marriage, whether you are currently going through challenges, are trying to ensure you avoid any challenges.
The book makes it clear that “There is no acceptable reason why a man who has vowed to be committed to his wife should dishonor his marital vows by cheating”. However I liked the honesty in dealing with the fact that it does happen and while yes we blame the men who do do it, it is prudent to try and equip oneself with more understanding as to why this does happen.
One of my favorite themes in the book is the Cadillac versus Okada analogy. Why should a husband go outside and look for an Okada when he has a Cadillac at home? The question lies with does the Cadillac at home act and behave like a Cadillac.
Some questions wives can ask
- What were some of the things that attracted your man in the first place, are you still doing those things, have you improved on them or have you even stopped doing them completely?
- Do you understand your husbands love languages, there are generally 5 love languages, Acts of Service, Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Gifts.
- Do you pay attention to what your man complains about the most? Because this is most likely the way he wants to be loved and you must take a cue from him.
- What kind of home environment do you create for your husband? Make sure it is not hostile. Make sure it is inviting so that he looks forward to it. Husbands don’t want to deal with unstable moods that keep them on edge.
- Do you make conscious deposits in your spouses’ emotional bank account so that it is always full and he never needs to go outside to refill it.
- Do you fight for control with our husbands? If we were not ready to give up control perhaps we should not have gotten married? Giving up control actually does lead to being in control of your husband.
Some things husbands deal with
- Pregnancy can change the way the man sees his wife.
- Some men have actually been sexually abused as children and never properly dealt with this and so carry the scars through to adulthood.
- Mid life crisis and this leads to these men who try to get in touch with their youth by trying to sport the latest hair cuts or worse following younger girls to reassure themselves of their strength and youthfulness.
- Wives try to retrain their husbands, forgetting that their husbands had mothers who tried for years to retrain him before handing him off to his wife. Note that mistresses are not trying to retrain they just want to retain.
- Some husbands deal with wives who get complacent after they have the ring on their finger who change from trying to be attractive for their husbands and now just tie wrappers at home. Wives must keep up to date with the trends and how she dresses, she must always dress to please her husband. A good dress sense and sense of style can luckily be learnt, men are visual!
- Wives who are uninterested or do not initiate sex can cause problems.
The Other Women
- The adulterous woman outside is strategic in trying to get a man that is not hers.
- Note that the potential mistress is not trying to “re-train” your husband, she simply wants to retain him.
- The other woman treats him like a king which might be the stroke his ego needs if he doesn’t get it at home.
What men don’t realize is that if they ever turn the woman outside into “the woman” she will most likely change on him too!!
In general women we need to hold our men accountable, but with wisdom you can do this without coming across like you want to control him.
We need to continue to work on ourselves and improve ourselves, keep things interesting and exciting and be sure not to get complacent. Some of us know the best traits to apply at the office to ensure we are promoted and don’t get fired knowing that there are several other people ready to take our position at the office…we need to being a bit of this into the marriage and have a loving and strategic plan to keep our husbands happy.
Be careful who you and your husband surround ourselves with daily so that immorality does not start to look okay. Especially in these days when it appears that immorality is celebrated! It is all a smoke-screen in reality. Wives this is not an excuse for insecurity though! Anything done in excess can be disastrous and your being suspicious can be just as damaging. Stay attractive for your husbands….get rid of the wrappers!
This is just a summary of the book you have to read it to get the full gist of what he has to say.
LagosMums is a distributor of the books please email [email protected] to buy a copy or visit his website and buy it for a friend or sister!
About the Author: Praise Fowowe was born in Nigeria in 1978 and has grown to become one of the most sought after family life coaches and a foremost sex recovery expert. With over a decade experience in assisting troubled marriages and preventing child sexual abuse. He is passionate about family and family life and has several awards to his credit. He is married to Oluwatosin and they are blessed with children.
Book is also sold on Amazon