What Every Parent Wants to Know About the Right Age for a SmartPhone

We live in a digital world, and one of the most common questions I get as a digital parenting coach is both complex and straightforward. The question is, what is the right age to give a child a smartphone? In this article, I’ll share practical guidance based on a conversation from my Parenting Today radio show so you can make an intentional decision for your family.

There isn’t a single “right” age

Let’s get this out of the way: there is no magic number. You’ll hear ranges tossed about; some say 10 to 13, but ages alone don’t tell the whole story. Two kids born in the same year can have very different maturity levels, responsibilities, and needs. The key question isn’t “How old is my child?” but “Is my child ready, and am I prepared as a parent?”

“If a parent is not ready to do the additional work that comes with giving your child a smartphone, then do not give that child the phone.” – Yetty Williams

Why the decision is life-changing

Giving your child a smartphone is not like giving them a new toy. It’s giving them a 24/7 pass to information, entertainment, and social life—along with all the risks that come with it.

Yes, there are benefits: learning, creativity, staying connected. But there are also responsibilities: safety, limits, and supervision.

Before you decide, ask yourself:

Why does my child need it? (emergencies, school, keeping in touch?)
Can that need be met with something simpler? (a basic phone, a shared tablet or a school-provided device rather than a full smartphone?)
Am I really ready to monitor usage, set clear boundaries, and consistently enforce consequences?
Does my child know basic online safety and how to respond to inapproproate content?

Do They Really Need a Smartphone?

Sometimes, the answer is no. And that’s okay. You’ve got options:

Basic “dumb” phone: Ideal for making calls and sending texts without distractions.
Tablet or laptop: Good for homework and learning, less likely to be in their pocket 24/7.
Shared family device: Keeps access limited and easier to monitor.

How to Prepare Your Child Before Giving Them a Device

Handing over a smartphone isn’t a milestone to rush. With the right preparation, you can help your child build healthy digital habits and avoid common pitfalls.

1. Set Expectations Early
Before the device goes into their hands, have an open conversation. Discuss screen time limits, where devices can be used (e.g., no phones at the dinner table or in bedrooms), and which apps are off-limits. Clear boundaries create a sense of safety and responsibility.

2. Teach Essential Tech Skills
Don’t assume they know the basics. Walk them through how to make calls, save contacts, and—most importantly—how to block, report, or speak up about anything inappropriate online.

3. Use Parental Controls Wisely
Explore filtering, monitoring, and time-management tools that align with your comfort level. These tools aren’t foolproof, but they provide a helpful safety net while your child learns to navigate digital spaces.

4. Be a Role Model
Children learn more from what we do than what we say. Practice the kind of tech habits you want them to adopt—balanced screen use, phone-free family time, and intentional use of social media.

5. Start with a Trial Period
Treat the first few weeks as a trial run. Set a date to sit down together and review how things are going. Use the opportunity to celebrate wins, address any issues, and tweak the rules if needed.

When screen use becomes worrying

Many parents call panicked because a child seems withdrawn, refuses to give up a device, or reacts strongly when screen time is restricted. These are red flags worth investigating.

If your child has always been quietly reserved and is thriving academically and socially in other ways, they may simply be introverted, so monitor, but don’t assume the worst.
If you notice a sudden change after a device is introduced (mood swings, isolation, poor sleep, loss of appetite), take action fast. Early intervention is easier than undoing entrenched habits.
For teens who become highly distressed when separated from devices, work on a gradual reduction plan and seek support if the reaction seems extreme or linked to anxiety or gaming communities.

Specific concerns: social media, sexual content, monetization

Social platforms like TikTok and WhatsApp can expose kids to sexualized content and peer pressure. When children are open and show you what they see, that openness is a huge positive, and you can take steps to protect that trust.

Don’t react by seizing the device as a first move; instead, discuss why the content is inappropriate and use parental controls to filter it.
If parents disagree (e.g., one parent supports TikTok and the other doesn’t), avoid pushing kids into monetization or public exposure at a young age. Encourage a united parenting approach before expanding their online presence.
Monetizing a child’s account should be considered carefully, as age, maturity, and long-term impact matter deeply.

How the pandemic changed everything

Lockdowns forced children online for schooling, and many families never reverted to pre-pandemic screen habits. Online schooling normalized devices as learning tools, but it also blurred boundaries. Recognize that “pre-pandemic life” probably won’t return; focus instead on reshaping current habits to support healthy development.

Practical next steps for parents

Decide your “why”: Determine exactly what the device is for and choose the simplest option that meets that need.
Create a family tech agreement: Write down rules, consequences, and check-in times together.
Use layered controls: Combine device settings, network filters, and app-level restrictions.
Schedule device-free times: Mealtimes, bedrooms at night, and family activities should be screen-free.
Keep communication open: Encourage your child to tell you about uncomfortable experiences online without fear of punishment.

Conclusion

There’s no one-size-fits-all age to hand over a smartphone. What matters most is preparation, parental involvement, and ongoing attention. When you set boundaries, teach safety, and stay involved, you can unlock the benefits of technology while protecting your child from its risks.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: At what age can I give a child a smartphone?

A: There is no single correct age. Many parents choose between 10 and 13, but a better measure is maturity and readiness, both the child’s and the parent’s willingness to supervise and enforce rules. The best advice is to delay as long as you can.

Q: Will tablets or laptops protect my child from addiction better than a smartphone?

A: Tablets and laptops are less likely to be used constantly than smartphones, but addiction is still possible. Devices that stay in public areas and are used for specified tasks (homework, learning) reduce risk compared with a personal smartphone kept in a child’s pocket.

Q: My teen throws a tantrum when I take away their device. What should I do?

A: Take it as a warning sign and address it quickly. De-escalate and create a gradual plan to reduce dependency. Seek support if the behaviour is extreme or linked to anxiety or gaming communities.

Q: Should I use parental controls or rely on trust?

A: Use both. Trust and relationship are essential, but layered parental controls and monitoring give practical protection and help you see patterns you might otherwise miss.

Q: Is it okay to let my child monetize their social media content?

A: Be cautious, especially for younger children. Monetization introduces pressure, public scrutiny, and long-term consequences. Discuss as a united front with your co-parent and prioritise your child’s wellbeing over short-term income.

Finally…

Parents struggling with these decisions are not alone. Start conversations, make a plan, and adjust as you learn what works best for your family.

There’s no perfect age. What matters is readiness—yours and your child’s.

When you set boundaries, teach safety, and stay engaged, a smartphone can be a tool for connection and growth—not just another headache.

And if you ever feel stuck, remember that you’re not the only parent wrestling with this decision.

For more support, check out resources and community conversations at LagosMums

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