Which is harder, marriage or parenting? This was an interesting question that came up at a parenting event with This Present House and the response from the audience was eye opening. We then decided to put up opinion polls on our social media pages to find out what our mums think and we got interesting feedback.
On both Instagram and Facebook, majority of mums voted for and opined that parenting is harder than marriage.
Surprisingly enough, when we asked our mums to tell us why they feel marriage or parenting is harder, a lot more mums leaned towards marriage as the harder choice.
Their reasons for choosing parenting or marriage are quite interesting. You don’t realize you see the world through a fixed lens until someone else sees things differently.
We have mums who think marriage and parenting are equally as hard or not hard at all.
According to @gracetoparent, “I think they are both hard because you have to become a better person first to be a better spouse or parent. It requires self sacrifice. However if I had to pick one, parenting is a huge responsibility in that your behaviour could possibly determine the course of your child’s life.
@olayemiseyi1 says “Hmmm. In my opinion, none is harder. It both depends on the foundation which is “me,myself and I”. If I get it right, then I am on a ride to smooth marriage and parenting”
On the one hand, some mums believe that parenting is harder
According to popular blogger @Lagoshousewives, “Marriage is easy, we are adults. However, parenting is hard work. Raising a small child to have the right character and values while helping him to discover and retain his individuality and personality is no easy feat”
@bolanle_alonge also says “Parenting is harder. This is because parenting involves two people, one already has a knowledge of life while the other is just getting knowledge about life. Lack of proper parenting has brought about children who have become problems to the society at large while broken marriages have done same to a lesser extent.”
@yusufekine explains that “Parenting is harder because you never know if you are doing it right or wrong until you finally become old and watch your children become parents or outstanding member of the community which leaves you bursting with joy and pride.”
On the other hand, other mums don’t quite agree with them:
According to @jumokecaxton “Well, for some of us, parenting comes easier because we have a rich upbringing and were raised right. We understand the rudiments of individuality and understand the power of communication (I mean my husband and I). Also we read up and study on how to raise kids right.
The best textbooks on marriage really don’t teach, it’s from your experience. Everyone’s experience is different and the root causes of behaviour in marriage is not easily traceable”
@edieandamyco “Very difficult question. The sense of betrayal and disappointment when things don’t workout may be more in marriage.”
@jamjam2830 “Marriage is harder. With parenting, you are 100% confident that you will give it your very best because that little one depends on you. With marriage, there are too many ” why’s”. No “why” in parenting, you take your offspring as they are and give it your best.
@lofemide “Marriage is harder. Your child depends on you and trusts you completely. Your spouse is an entirely different complete adult. Ordinary what TV channel to watch is a problem. Chai!”
@Eyitayoinspires “I work with women. The sheer effort that marriage requires and the unpredictability of the outcome are greater than they are with parenting. If parenting is intentional from the onset, the likelihood of good outcomes are, in my experience, higher.”
Anonymous: “Marriage was our pick. Because in most cases marriage involves parenting.”
Here are some responses. Which of them do you agree with?
Do you have a different view? Kindly let us know in the comment section