Diary Adventures of LagosMums: DALM | What are our Daughters Wearing
What are our daughters wearing? Really who is checking what your daughter is wearing out of the house? Is she dressing for her age or over her age?
I was at a children’s birthday party at GET arena and saw a pretty girl who was probably between 13 and 15 years old. She wore a top tucked into very short shorts! The shorts were really short and really tight. I contemplated with my hubby whether I could have a conversation with her to discuss her choice of an outfit and in particular to talk about her shorts.
I wanted to ask her:-
1) Why did she choose to wear this pair of shorts
2) What did she think the shorts did for her? Did she think they made her look good?
3) Was she trying to get attention? (I would then share with her that your clothes call attention to you, whether you want it to or not)
4) She was a pretty girl and if she wore more “appropriate” clothing she would still be a very pretty girl. This does not suggest that being pretty or not is dependent on what you wear.
She did come out of a house and I would imagine that there was an adult who saw her put on this outfit and go out of the house. Children no matter how grown and independent they appear are still children. They are not aware of all the upsides or downsides of their actions and choices – including dressing.
The reality is that people make certain decisions about us (and our children) based on the outfits that we wear. Your dressing should portray how you want to be seen or addressed. These type of short shorts that cut into your crotch will call attention to yourself. We can probably agree that the world judges people based on the first impression. How you carry yourself and how you dress play a big part in this.
I was really torn between saying something to this young girl or minding my business. I really felt like calling her aside to understand why she thought this pair of shorts was a good choice.
We ended up both leaving and walking to the car park at the same time.
She was a few steps in front of us. Suddenly we hear whistles with men leering and literally feasting on her with their eyes from a bus. As we walked past the cars in traffic, on the way to the car park, the whistles continued.
She was clearly uncomfortable and tried to walk by quickly. The gentlemen continued to stick their heads out of the bus and stare at her back view, whistling, smiling at each other and shaking their heads.
This was the Ah-ha moment to me and the reality of what I had been thinking! People will look at you and gawk at your body if you dress in a revealing way. Parents lets remember that the way our children and young developing girls dress presents them a certain way to the world…and this you cannot control.
As a parent, one of my goals is to protect my daughter from being leered at. One way to avoid this is to dress modestly. Children can look ‘stylish” without exposing themselves.
Let’s teach our girls that it is better to dress in such a way that people cannot “misinterpret” what they are about. As parents, we should guide what our children wear and help to teach what parts should stay covered. We pray that they do not fall into the hands of people with evil intentions.
I cringe to think about what could have happened if this girl walked into the midst of these men by herself and alone.
What do you think is dressing a form of freedom of speech? Should people wear whatever they feel like? Do you approve what your daughters are wearing?
Read How are you supposed to look after having children in our DALM category
