Diary Adventures of LagosMums: DALM | How Are You Supposed To Look After You Have Children?
Who else wonders what people mean when they exclaim that a mum doesn’t look like she has kids?
You know those comments such as –
“Waow she don’t look like she has kids “
“Ah Iya oni gba”…comment meaning this mother doesn’t want to ‘gree…aka you are trying too hard…aka a mum should not look this “trendy”
“ You are ready for number 4”…this means if you are looking this good then it is an invitation and time for your husband to get busy impregnating you again..
So the question is, is there an acceptable way a mum should look? What qualifies you for the look? I have carried out an unofficial survey and people expect Mums to look
- Uninterested in anything remotely related to fashion e.g. instead of wearing skinny leg pants should still be wearing flares!
- Overweight by at least 20 kg or 3 sizes bigger than before you had kids.
- Not as attractive as a woman who hasn’t had babies yet
It is only expected in Hollywood for Mums to get back to pre-pregnancy sizes, but not your regular everyday mums. Well thats their opinion! Right.
Not fitting into the “Mumsie Category” throws some people off as they cannot tell from looking at you that you are a Mum.
Newsflash! having a child is not a reason to change dramatically, or at least not permanently. Yes having a child stretches the mum, (physically as well as emotionally) in ways you didn’t imagine but our bodies are adjustable and can be worked on to go back to size, or closer to pre-baby size. There are many helpers nowadays too e.g. spanx that can suck in a few inches from the waist line and thighs. Personality also matters, someone who took time for their appearance before having a baby will still try, even if it might be harder, to spend time on their appearance after a baby.
Personally I have to say I had the same thoughts of a “mumsie category” – a mum and wife stereotype until i started having close friends who were getting married and having babies.
So sorry people there isn’t some after birth appearance club that exists….well except the tummy pouch most of us can’t shake off
Next time someone says you don’t look like you have kids…you should answer with and how I am supposed to look?
Abi Mums what do you think?