Every child is different and comes with their own strengths and challenges. That’s why God gave them parents. Here are 6 ways to improve your parenting in 2018, we can always be better as parents.
1. Be Firm without Being Harsh
Firmness is needed in every parents tool kit because firmness builds character and teaches children limits. Some children don’t realise the dangers of their disrespect, lying, anger, or bad attitudes. Firmness teaches children limits and helps them build the character they will need for the rest of their lives.
Some parents believe that firmness requires harshness, which is not true. You don’t need necessarily need harshness in order to be firm. Just be firm.
2. Build Relational Connectedness
The best kind of relationship building takes place on a heart level. That means getting to know your child and looking for ways to connect emotionally. It might be playing a game, partnering in the kitchen, snuggling on the coach, or just looking in the child’s eyes during a conversation. Relationship is the vehicle through which values and convictions pass. So, deeper and longer lasting change takes place when relationship levels are strong.
3. Look for Misbeliefs in the Heart
Children often believe strange things about life such as, “I have the right to get to the next level of the video game before following my parent’s instructions,” or “if I’m not happy with what’s going on, then I have the right to make everyone else miserable.” Jesus listed a number of sins in Matthew 15:18-19 and he reveals that those behaviours come from wrong thinking and that wrong thinking takes place in the heart.
When parents recognise the heart issue, they are often more able to address the thinking. The behaviour is a symptom of something deeper.
4. Think Strategy
Many parents are trying to move too quickly and their thinking becomes short term when it comes to their children’s challenges. Reactive parenting is weak. Then they find themselves reacting in ways that aren’t as helpful. The alternative is to have a plan for long term change. The child who resists often when given an instruction needs a plan for cooperation. Practicing following instructions can go a long way to strengthen the internal qualities necessary to build the long lasting quality of cooperation.
Strategy looks at the bigger picture and even helps kids see the importance of working on a particular area of weakness.
5. Use more Training than Correction
If you rely too heavily on correction then your parenting takes a negative turn. Although correction IS an important part of a parent’s responsibility, there’s a more positive approach that can maximise your efforts more.
Separating children who fight might produce temporary peace, but equipping them with a plan to deal with each other’s selfishness can train them for the future. Practicing following instructions in a cooperative manner can actually reduce selfishness and raise the bar for cooperation for a child. Training trumps correction most of the time.
6. Get Parenting Support
You’re likely doing a lot of good things in your parenting. But sometimes the good things you’re doing just aren’t enough. Every person’s heart is different and it can be confusing to know which solutions will work the most effectively. Having a toolbox of resources can provide you with greater wisdom. Keep in mind that it’s what you don’t know yet, that might help you be more successful in your parenting. For more do visit the National Center for Biblical Parenting
[READ: Parenting through your blind spots]
