Teaching our children the right principles to a wonderful marriage early in life, can greatly impact and enhance their likely hood for better marriages in the future. Marriage preparation shouldn’t start with marriage counselling, we believe it should start much earlier – with YOU- the parent. We discuss some starting points to help tune your kids in the right direction to blissful marriage and family in the future.
Show Them Marriage is Love
When children see their parents showing themselves love and affection they will believe this is what marriage means. If all they see is you tolerating each other, strife, raised voices, arguments and discord this is what will form their worldview of marriage. You are the first marriage they will witness and so what they learn and see from you will affect their future expectations of their own marriage.
Show them visible signs of love, let them see you holding hands, let them hear you say l love you, they should see you kiss, cuddle and spend time together. Celebrate each others’ birthday; anniversary and just because, buy each other gifts. A loving marriage gives off an aura that everyone cannot miss.
Show Them Marriage is Respect
Respect each other, how do they hear you talking about each other and to each other. When your husband speaks do you ignore what he says or show respect and respond. Do you tell your kids mum doesn’t understand things or doesn’t get it? Respect must be practical and shown. [READ: Preparing For Marriage]
Show Them Marriage is About Communication
Show a unified front let them see you having healthy conversations. Show them two become one and speak one language. When they see you enjoying your company and being able to communicate effectively they will have a healthy reference point.
Show Them How to Resolve Conflict
You should not give a fake front, they will see when you disagree and even if you pretend they will sense the tension in the air when things are not calm. So show how to resolve conflicts. Show them that you respect your different opinions but then you resolve. You apologize if you have to. You should focus on peace, you forgive and move on. Conflict should not disintegrate into screaming matches or calling each other names. Conflict just means there was a difference in opinions or someone upset you, it is a normal emotion. What you do with the emotions is what matters.
Show Them Marriage is About Companionship
Marriage is about spending time together as a couple and enjoying time spent together. Do not always spend time doing different things or only when you have to go to family functions together as a duty. If you make it seem like hanging out with each other is fun they will see it as such. Companionship is not a grudging tolerance but rather a positive anticipation of quality time together. [READ: Are You Ready For Marriage?]
Show Them Marriage is About Praying Together
Pray together and let them see you put God first and put God as the head of your marriage. They will see the evidence of two putting to flight thousands. A marriage in unity and with God at the wheel will bear the fruit of love, togetherness, respect, gentleness, forgiveness, flourishing and ultimately it will be inviting.
Show Them Marriage is Responsibility
The essence of marriage is that you are responsible for your spouse. You are not just playing house, managed to have some children and now live separate lives. Marriage should show that you do what is best for the other person. Show them that you put each other first, that you think about how decisions affect your husband or wife and then the family.
Let them see that you enjoy your marriage, that marriage is a choice and that to stay happy and have a blessed marriage and home includes both partners giving their marriages their best. When you show your children the real deal about marriage and the right model, they will grow up wanting to emulate the positive example they saw.
Which of these principles are you practicing in your home today? Do you have more suggestions? Share with us in the comment boxes below.