We are all used to hearing about having a vision for your business, for your life and for your career. What is your parenting vision? This is not a topic that is ever really discussed as one of the areas that you need to prepare for, think about and actively chart a plan for. Most parents just get on with it and figure it out along the way.
When we parent with only short-term goals in mind, it’s easy to lose sight of our long-term goals of raising happy, healthy, confident children. Having a vision helps with ensuring what you are working towards, so it should be with your children.
Here are some questions to ask yourself as a parent
1. What are the beliefs and traits you would like your child to develop as an adult?
To have this plan you need to have done an assessment of what your beliefs and values are as a parent. You can only teach what you know or what you have consciously thought about. Children who are respectful, creative, confident, empathetic, hard-working, god fearing….the list can go on and on.
2. Which of these beliefs and traits do you confirm in your own behavior?
This is the really big and honest question. Remember, children learn more by observing you than by all the lectures and talks of what they should be doing. So go ahead and look at that list you just made, and highlight the beliefs you don’t display. Do they see you scream at people who upset you? this is not showing them respect is important.
3. Are you controlling or approachable?
Whatever your personality whether you are approachable or controlling is important in raising your children. Constantly telling your child what to do, how to do it without encouraging an environment of communication can be counter productive. Be open, approachable and loving. Focus on ‘why’ and ‘how’ to ensure that your children understands what you expect from them.
4. When your kids look back at you as a parent, will they remember you as honest or dishonest?
Your child’s entire worldview is based on their view of you as their parents. Don’t lie, or make up stories that they will know were lies when they are older. If they know that everything you do and say is honest and consistent, they will learn to trust everything else you have said, about life and beliefs. Children (as adults) sometimes are caught trying to rationalize what their parents taught them with what is reality when they become adults. It should not be shockingly different.
Determine the values you expect your child to have and the vision you have as parent – literally fast forward and imagine how you would like your child to be as an adult then walk backwards to ensure you create an enabling environment for the child to achieve that.culled from kidsstoppress.com photo source: united-ultasonic.com