Saturday PUNCH asked a cross-section of Nigerians if they think wives need their husband’s permission before they can spend their income. It is quite mind boggling that this question is being asked, however, see some of the replies they got below.
[Read: Money Doesn’t Have A Gender ]
A woman doesn’t need her husband’s permission – Ugonwa Esther Ikegwuonu
In my opinion, a woman does not need to seek the husband’s approval to spend her money. The money is earned by her and therefore, she should be at liberty to spend it as she desires. Generally, the decision on how to utilise funds differs from person to person and from situation to situation. For a happily married woman, who believes in the family vision and wishes to partner with the husband, she may decide to share some details of her spending with the husband, just to inform him and not necessarily to secure approval.
From my experience and interactions, a woman’s decision to inform her husband about how she spends her money is determined by how secure and happy she feels in the marriage and how the man spends his own money.
A woman should freely utilise her money but not be unmindful of the needs of the immediate and extended families, which she may need to meet from time to time. Also, for investments in major or capital projects, it is ideal for the woman to talk to the partner to ensure the suitability of the project for the family. Such discussions are believed to engender trust, bond and most importantly, fidelity in relationships.
In conclusion, apart from major or joint projects, a woman should not need any form of approval to spend the money she earns. A woman should be able to utilise her money to meet her day to day personal needs as well as the domestic needs of her immediate and extended families. My husband is fully aware of most of the things I spend my money on because over the years, I have come to trust him with my finances. Such discussions, however, are for his information and inputs and not for approvals.
It depends on the husband’s attitude towards money – Olawunmi Dada – Richards
I feel that in a home where the husband discloses his financial position, the wife should do likewise. My reason for taking this position is because it fosters openness. A very typical example is when husbands give the money they earn to their wives for proper appropriation in the home. In a situation where the husband is not open about his financial position, it would be difficult for the woman to open up to him about her financial position. For example, if a man does not bear his financial responsibilities in the home or doesn’t reveal the true state of his finances, his wife may not disclose her financial position as well.
My money is our money – Peace Ufuoma Aganbi
Money issue has been identified as one of the sources of stress in a lot of marriages today. For example, if a man doesn’t know how to manage his funds, and his wife is prudent, problems are bound to come. In a situation where only one spouse is working and bringing in income, it’s possible for issues to come up in such a relationship. Also, if a spouse earns more money than the other; there is a tendency that the spouse who earns more may be tempted to be in control of financial decisions in the marriage.
Money should not be a source of stress in marriage. It is meant to solve problems and not to cause problems. Married couples should realize that the two have become one flesh and this should apply to every department of their lives, including finances. Whatever assets they acquire individually belongs to the home. There should be no more ‘my money’ or ‘your money’.
The income that is earned by one or both of them belongs to the family. Couples should therefore be transparent, be able to trust each other, set financial goals, discuss financial issues and take financial decisions together.
From the foregoing, it may no longer be necessary for the wife to take permission before spending her money because any income that comes into the family is their money. Couples should note that their marriage and their families are more important than money and so should not allow any argument about who determines how it is spent to destroy their marriage.
Some things should be done for the sake of togetherness – Funmilola Adetifa
In my opinion, a woman doesn’t need the permission of her husband to spend her money. Although, for the sake of togetherness, she must let him know about her finances so that they could build trust and confidence in each other. A ‘good’ man should trust his wife to make good use of what she makes instead of trying to know about everything.
My husband doesn’t ask me how I spend my money, even the money he gives me, but I let him know almost everything. If the money belongs to both of them, the woman can still spend it, but she should be ready to give proper account. I call this accountability.
There is no need for permission _ Bolaji Olanrewaju
If the woman actually earned the money, then she shouldn’t take any form of permission from her husband before spending it. However, adequate update and detailed information on expenditure should be available to both parties when requested. Personally, I wouldn’t need to give my wife permission to spend her income. Generally, women are known to have great financial management skills. If it’s our home, then it’s our money, it’s our cars, it’s the total love package.
What’s your take on this? Share with us