Referring to children of this generation as curious and inquisitive will not be out place. However, there are certain children who self sabotage for various reasons. Children are keen to know the cause of different new things in the world. It is not strange to see children, for instance, dismantling and reassembling a toy car bought for them. They do this just to know why the toy functions the way it does. Believing this about children, it is possible not to pay attention to the fact that some children are masters of self-sabotage.
What is Self Sabotage?
While your children are growing up, as a parent you realize that certain life issues seem to spring up out of nowhere. Perhaps your children begin to face some challenges that leave you confused. Some of these challenges are self-inflicted.
For instance, what happens to a child who knows he has a test to write in school the next morning and spends all his evening watching his favourite cartoon? It is certain that his lack of adequate preparation will tell on him when the result is out. They know what to do but refuse to do them; this can be an example of self-sabotage. As a parent, you need to help your child to learn how to make the right decision at the right time.
Discovering self-sabotage in children
Thinking about life numerous challenges that children face while growing, do you know it is possible they all come from a single root cause. Maybe not, but it is possible that the life challenges that they face are all of the similar causes.
As a parent, it is also important that you know that your child might face a certain challenge similar to another child. That does not mean the solution will be the same. It is your duty as a parent to consider the challenges your children face noting their special peculiarities in order to proffer a lasting solution. The reason why they are doing badly academically, for instance, might also be the same reason for his poor feeding habits.
Again, proffering an effective solution to a challenge is impossible without realizing clearly what the cause is. Therefore, as parents tracing the root cause of the challenges your children face is important in assisting them to find a lasting solution. Finding the right solution is not automatic, it is a process.
How then can you rescue your children from self-sabotage?
Bring it to their consciousness
Self-sabotage occurs unconsciously. Helping your children realize that their actions are the major cause of their challenges is important. Pointing out ways in which they have been holding themselves back in achieving some of their goals is the first point of call in putting an end to their challenges.
Certainly, they want to achieve their goals, but knowing how they are personally affecting their success is essential in combating the problem. Reading books, listening to motivational speeches and so on will continue to expose them to different intellectual knowledge of why they face many problems. However, without being conscious of what self-sabotage is, taking action which will lead to ending the problem is impossible.
Instil the spirit of self-discipline
Once you are able to bring the issue of self-sabotage to the consciousness of your children as a major cause of their challenges, instilling the spirit of self-discipline is the next step. Now that your children are aware that knowing what to do and not doing it is a major pointer to their challenge. As a parent, you need to build them up to be responsible; starting with themselves.
Knowing the steps alone is insufficient; they must take a step ahead and effect the needed actions to be successful. You must educate them. Let them know it might not come so easy to take steps towards achieving success but it will be worth it eventually. Hence, owning their success involves overcoming all obstacles and being self-responsible.
Point out Striking patterns of self-sabotage in them
Children will find it difficult to relate to the theoretical aspect of self-sabotage. As a parent, you will find it easier to assist your child in overcoming self-sabotage; if you can point it out clearly to them. Helping your children realize reoccurring patterns of how they self sabotage themselves will make them understand the problem. Much more, it will help them effectively deal with it. Once they see what the problem is clearly they step into a better position to end it. Showing them concrete examples of self-sabotage will enable them to re-evaluate their actions. As a parent, you can encourage them when they make the right decisions.
Children desire to be confident, independent and achieve their goals. Even though they might not realize that many of the challenges they face in the pursuit of their goals are due to self-sabotage. Your help as a parent is pivotal here; helping your children realize the harmful effect of self-sabotage is important.
Rising up to this challenge as parents will guarantee that your children achieve their goals and live their best lives.
Click here to read: [How To Help Your Child Cope With Preparation For Exams]