Our LagosMums Grandmum of the Month is the elegant and wise Mrs. Omowunmi Oluyemi Fanimokun. At 80 years young, she is a testament to the power of intentional parenting and the enduring strength of family values. From her career days with a book always in her handbag to her current role as a doting grandmother to her “first fruits” of the next generation, her journey is filled with insights for every mum and grandmum.
In this interview, she shares her thoughts on the importance of raising well-grounded children, and why love is the one thing that should never be missing from a home.
Tell us about becoming a grandmother. Was there anything that surprised you?
Nothing really surprised me about becoming a grandmother. However, what it has done for me is provide such an amazing and amusing experience. Seeing my own child becoming a mother, and thereby me becoming a grandmother, has been a beautiful transition to witness.
Is being a grandparent easier or harder than being a parent?
Being a grandparent is definitely easier! As a grandparent, you are there primarily as a loving figure. Your grandchildren know they can come to you for love, attention, and advice. While you still provide discipline to some extent and admire them for who they are, the daily hustle and the heavy responsibility of raising kids are no longer your primary burden. You get to see your own child take on that role while you provide the support.
What have you learned about preparing children to thrive in the future?
You prepare children to thrive by raising them with self-confidence and good values. I believe in raising children to be contented with what they have but not complacent and well-grounded in their identity. Raising them with the fear of God, discipline, and high moral values ensures that wherever they find themselves in the world, they will be able to hold their heads high and stand their ground.
How do you stay in touch with the evolving world of Gen Z and Gen Alpha?
To stay in touch, a grandparent needs to be aware that the world has become a global village. These children are exposed to so many advantages that weren’t as prevalent when I was raising my own. You need to be aware that from get go, they know a lot. From when they are toddlers, they’ve been handling their parents phones, using computers and going online. You have to be aware of their surroundings and acknowledge that they face many more distractions than when I was raising my children.
What traditions or values are most important to you?
The values most important to me are loyalty, love, discipline, the fear of God. And respect both for our traditions and for parents and elders.
How is parenting different today compared to when you were younger?
Parenting today is much more difficult. It’s not enough for parents to be just “hands-on” you have to be extremely alert. I have discovered that children today are so smart, it is not necessarily that they are “smarter” than our own children, but they have tools and gadgets that have opened the world to them in ways we never experienced. Children today face so many distractions, and they need active parents to guide them through it all.
LagosMums Grandmum of the Month: Mrs. Omowunmi Fanimokun Share on X
What do you want future generations to know about you?
I want them to know me as their loving grandmother, always eager and happy to see them. My children were and still are the center of my world, and as such by extension, my grandchildren have joined that center. They should know me for a grandmother who holds them in very high esteem. I see my two grandchildren so far as the “first fruits” of the next branch of our family tree. As the first grand daughter and the first grandson, I want them to remember that I attached great importance to their position in our family.
What has motherhood taught you about yourself?
Motherhood taught me that I am a “mother hen.” I followed my children everywhere; I was a very hands-on mother. I put everything in me into motherhood because I wanted to ensure that wherever my children were they could stand on their own and raise their heads anywhere. It taught me that you have to be intentional to raise well-grounded children.
How do you like to relax?
My relaxation entails being in my house, chilling, enjoying the day with my family members, watching movies, and napping at 80! (laughs).
What is one thing you used to do when you were younger that you still cherish?
When I was younger I loved reading. I would always have a book in my handbag, I’d read in the car on the way to work or during any free period. I used to read a lot, I still read randomly now, but I want to put in more effort and more seriousness into it.
What is the one thing that should never be missing from a home?
Love. Love should not be missing in any home.
What advice do you have for grandparents navigating their roles?
In navigating their role from parents to grandparents, they should first and foremost, respect their children who are now parents. They should respect their style of parenting and their views on how they want to raise their own children. As well as respecting the rules and regulations they have established in their own homes.
Remember that you raised these children who are now parents, you raised them in your own way, in your own style, and the best way you knew how to at the time. Now, it is time to respect their own space and their unique patterns of parenting. If you are asked for advise you can give it. If not, just let them do it the way they know best and wish them well.
As the GrandMum of the Month what three pieces of advice would you give other grandparents?
First of all, they should enjoy the process of seeing your own children become parents. Secondly, they should enjoy the joy of having their grandchildren visit them, jump on them and run around with you, and when they are old enough them enjoy having them talk to you.
Finally they should enjoy that in this complex world their family is growing.
Can you share some funniest memories of your grandchildren?
Its been quite a while since my grandchildren were toddlers. But the funniest things I can remember was when my granddaughter was about two, she was attending a crèche and they were having an inter-house sports event. By the way I don’t know whose idea it was to have babies have inter house sports. So she was supposed to run a race carrying a teddy bear. She lined up, however when it was her turn, she just buckled down and refused to move! And this was somebody who was usually so lively, but that day she just refused to run. Later in the car, when asked why she didn’t run, she simply said, “I was scareding” (Meaning she was scared) laugh. It was so funny because she was so certain about her feelings.
With my grandson, when he was very young, we always knew when he was “busy” because he would go and hide behind the sofa! You’d just see him tucked away there, and we knew exactly what was happening.
How does your Child’s parenting style compare to yours?
I would say by and large, my daughter and I have the same style. I was a serious hands-on mother, and I have seen her to be a very intentional and serious hands-on mum. While there are differences due to the societal values and times we live in. But at the core of it she is raising children with intention and giving them a solid and grounded home.
What advice would you give your younger self?
I liked everything I did as a young person, but maybe I would tell my younger self to be a little more outgoing. I was, and I am still quite a homebody!
Tell us about your grandchildren’s personalities
What I like about my grandchildren is their different and wonderful personalities. My granddaughter has a very lively and vivacious personality. She is so, so, so cute, loving, and so sure of herself. She is outgoing, and I admire that; in all of her vivaciousness; she is very, very intentional and serious about her academics. She is doing very well in school; she has won awards and has gained admission into some top universities in the US and UK. I am so happy and proud of her that she knows how to navigate her life and her time. This makes me confident and shows that, in life, she will be able to manage her time and her space, and will be able to handle everything.
My grandson, on the other hand, is a quiet and deep personality. When you see you know that hmm this person, there is a lot going on in his brain and there is a lot in this man. In fact he is someone I would just round up and say he is the definition of “still waters run deep.” But I love their different personalities and I admire them both immensely.
What are your thoughts on technology?
Technology is a double-edged sword. It has its advantages; for example, it has opened the world up, and the world has become a global village. It has made life so comfortable and easy. When you think in terms of online shopping, online banking, and booking rides, I wonder how we lived without such things.
For example, before, when you had to go out of your house to go to shops, you would have to stop at multiple shops or go all over town to find what you wanted, or leave home to go to the bank or stand on the street to call a cab. But now, you can go online and go through Instagram for whatever you want; you can do your banking right there in your house.
So, I am very optimistic that more valuable things will come up that will continue to make life easy and more enjoyable. However, I am concerned about the negative side of technology as well, for example, things you wouldn’t want your children to even be exposed to. This is especially true in this age of AI, where people can misuse images and cause all sorts of moral indignation. So, it is both sides of the coin; it’s for individuals to learn how to navigate it safely.
LagosMums Grandmum of the Month: Mrs. Omowunmi Fanimokun Share on X
What do you love about LagosMums?
Honestly speaking LagosMums has really impressed me alot in their attempt to help mums to raise disciplined children in this wild world of technology and AI. What you are doing is a lot, It is a credit to your organization and a benefit to mums who are opened to it. Its alot, you are bringing awareness to parents about the dangers and opportunities that are lurking in this technological world we are in.Â
And finally, my name is Mrs. Omowunmi Oluyemi Fanimokun, nee Akitunde and I am 80 years old. Thank you for having me!
Read More Mum of the Month stories here