Good day everyone and it is indeed an awesome privilege to be on this platform to share with you as well as learn from you on issues that border on parenting particularly parenting in the 21st century. I will be talking to you based majorly on my personal experiences and that of others and I assure you, every minute spent here will indeed be worth your time as it has always been here on Lagos Mums.
So to kick off this interesting series (now I think I’m beginning to sound like a radio presenter, lol) I want to start by saying that in showing love to our children we need not break the bank simply because,
“Their love don’t cost a thing”.
Apologies to Jennifer Lopez who sang ‘My love don’t cost a thing’. Â This line from her song was one I used to like singing out loud when the song first hit the airwaves. It was almost like I was begging to be loved. Lol.
I can’t help remembering it today as I observe my children and see how  pleased and over the moon they are when I do the simplest of things for them making me conclude that children’s perception of love is clearly different from that of adults. Now we as parents sometimes think to get these children to be happy particularly when we have been too busy to pay them the well deserved attention, we need to shower them with the most extravagant gifts.
Meanwhile for these children, saying you love them is more in the simplest ways than the grand ones. It may be a listening ear, a warm  cuddly bear hug, a kiss on the forehead, been present at their school events (I could preach a whole sermon on this), a compliment or word of commendation or even something as cheap as N100 ice cream.
Let me tell you about this N100 ice cream bit. So one Sunday afternoon after a very wonderful service in church that blessed me so much, I literally emptied my purse for the Lord leaving me with only N500. I didn’t think much of it as I had no intention of buying anything on my way home or so I thought. As we made the journey back home, one of my daughters suddenly reminded me about the new KFC outlet in the neighbourhood I had promised to take them for the umpteenth time.
The crestfallen looks on their faces and my anticipated negative response made me have a rethink about offering anything by way of an explanation that it could not happen that day. Did I mention that on this fateful day I left my debit card at home? Even if I had it with me, every kobo in the account had already been budgeted.
Another thing that didn’t work in my favour that day was the fact that I had not taken the children out in a while due to no deliberate fault of mine as weekdays were hectic with work and weekends were for, you guessed right, house chores. Granny’s place happened to be the only place of recreation they seemed to know during this time so I quite understood their ‘plight’ when they led the ‘protest march’ this afternoon.
With N500 in my purse, I suddenly had a light bulb moment where I remembered KFC sold ice cream in cones for N100. The teacher in me immediately came to life and I made quite a big deal out of this ice cream. Â Off we went to KFC and thirty minutes later, I had three boisterous girls with ice cream mustaches and colorful balloons in hands completely satisfied that mummy had finally fulfilled her promise. Did I take them to KFC or not? Yes. Were they happy or not? You bet they were. Did they know how much I spent? No. How much did it cost? N300 only with free balloons. Lol. Cheap you may say yet the joy experienced is unquantifiable.
What I Learnt
I learnt the following lessons that day and I hope you find it useful too.
- Children never forget a promise made so if you will not fulfill it, don’t promise.
- Sometimes with children, under promise and over deliver.
- When you have a shoe string budget, be as creative with children as much as possible as they are easily amused. Remember the ice cream mustache from the N100 ice cream?
- Always have a budget for family entertainment no matter how small. Not like I didn’t know this before but sometimes, (did I say some?), most times I mean, alot of things beg for our finances but needs must come first. One thing that will help you majorly here is to make it a regular habit of buying them little treats. Not like it should be an everyday affair but trust me it puts you in good standing with the children on the days you cannot afford the big, fanciful treats.
So remember this the next time your child says to you, “Daddy buy me Gala when you are coming back home”.
The key thing is not to go overboard as we wouldn’t also want a child who gets too used to having all he asks for. Life never gives all what we demand from it.
In conclusion, making these children feel loved actually does not cost much. It’s more in the seemingly little things like the ones highlighted earlier. It’s more in the experience than in the things, joy, the thrill and total sense of belonging. No matter what you do, truth is, their love doesn’t cost a thing.
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“The secret of big things is in the small things”. Â –Â Author Unknown
Contributed by: Toyin Akinlade
photo credits: multiplemayhemmamma.com, desiringgod.com
