Tara Fela Durotoye shares some motherhood tips that would inspire you. She shared this via her weekly newsletter. After reading it, I asked for her permission to share it with other mothers and parents. It is an account of real motherhood. Parenting is a journey. Tara is a well-known beauty entrepreneur and lawyer. A pioneer in the bridal makeup profession in Nigeria.
Celebrating a Milestone
Last week, Tara shared a post about her first son turning 18, and received lots of congratulatory messages and prayers. She also got a few notes from women still trusting God to have their own children and women who are trusting God to touch the hearts of their children.
She talked about her first son becoming the child of her dreams, but you know, this was not always the case.
There were several times she was invited to his school, and not for good reasons. From primary school to secondary school, being called by the schools to come in, receiving teachers’ notes. She shares that, he was the one child that has made her cry in front of teachers or in front of a headteacher.
Listen if you have children, I encourage you to be patient with them and consistent in what you are teaching them.
View this post on Instagram
H U R R A Y ☄️☄️☄️💥💥 MY FIRST CHILD IS 18 years old today . Such a joyyyy😀😀 I didn’t think I would have children and he came along swiftly . MY HEART IS FULL OF JOY !!!! T H E D A N C E O F T H A N K S G I V I N G #happybirthdayson Music credit :OBINASOM BY Minister Mercy Chinwo @mercychinwo
Motherhood Tip – You will see the fruit of your work if you don’t give up.
When we are training our children, they are also going through their own growth process, and we can’t determine what that looks like. Children grow differently.
Many times, this makes us second guess ourselves and we begin to feel that we are not good enough or doing enough. She shared that she felt the same way for a long time but she didn’t stop training her children and telling them the things that she tells them.
Today, many of those teachings have now become a part of who he is.
He was recently advised by his teachers to run for school prefect and hostel supervisor. Look at that!
“I am so grateful and proud that I didn’t stop teaching because of those initial reactions I got” – Tara Fela Durotoye
They may act like they are not listening, but please don’t stop.
It’s an honour to raise your child.
It is a chance to impact another human being and ensure the legacy of your family values remains on the earth.
Motherhood Tops: six tips from her own parenting
- Be involved – Make a choice to be involved in your children’s lives. Do school runs, listen to their conversations and hear what they have to say about things.
- Build their minds – Encourage your children to ask questions about life. Expose them to things and activities that will build their minds. Encourage them to become avid readers.
- Engage them – When your children ask questions, don’t dismiss them. Engage them in conversations. Let them know your perspective on different issues.
- Be value-conscious – Equip your children with the right value system. Pay attention to what they watch and listen to. Are they in line with the values you want them to live by? Also, be aware of the company they keep. Know their friends and the people they listen to outside the home.
- Social skills – Talk to your children about the importance of social skills. No matter how brilliant a person is, he or she can only go so far without good social skills. Social skills include how to relate to people, how to be cautious, how to show empathy, etc.
- Teach them about God – Help your children to develop a relationship with God. Teach them God’s word, about the importance of prayer and show them how to pray. Children learn from your example. Whatever you want to teach them, teach by example.
To help you implement quickly, here’s an exercise to assess their strengths and help them become self-aware.
Motherhood Tips to know your Children
Grab a list of words (strengths) from the internet, and read out the list to each child. Ask them to write down the words that describe them or resonate with them. Have a discussion afterwards, affirming and encouraging them. That’s it!
The lesson for today: Don’t stop talking to your children…It works!
Thank you, Tara, for sharing these tips with us on parenting and motherhood.
Read also: Motherhood Imposter Syndrome