LagosMums loves to meet with different mothers to talk about motherhood, how they balance their various roles and more, Our LagosMums mum of the month is Rayo Abe; mother, wife and Mumpreneur. She is the founder of LagosHouseWife sharing awesome recipes and meals for children. We always learn when we read someone else’s story and they share their experiences with us. Enjoy the interview below.
Please Introduce yourself and your beautiful family?
My name is Rayo Abe, I am LagosHouseWife. I’m a wife, mother and a Mumpreneur. I am married and I have a son who will soon be 6.
Tell us about your journey to motherhood? How has motherhood changed you?
My journey to motherhood was not that smooth. I tried for three years before I had my son and his birth was a miracle. I’m still hoping that I can still have one more, but if not, I’m good. God has been faithful.
Motherhood has made me very patient. The truth of the matter is that it not only changed my character, it also changed my whole life because LagosHouseWife came into reality through my experiences as a mother. It was when I had him that my vision and my purpose in life became clear.
Can you tell us some of the funniest things your child has said/asked you?
I think the funniest thing I’ve heard him say was one time during family prayer, it was his turn to pray and he was like “Father Lord we thank you for everything, I cover mummy with the blood of Jesus, I cover daddy with the blood of Jesus, I cover my friends with the blood of Jesus, I cover Jesus with the blood of Jesus”. And I didn’t know when I started laughing, I think I posted it up on my instastory and it really generated a lot of laughs. Every time I think about it, I can’t help but laugh.
How did you come up with “LagosHouseWife”?
LagosHouseWife actually came about via my passion for cooking. That was what started the vision but it has expanded to far more than that. What actually started it was that my son had an allergic reaction to shell fish. So, I became extra careful about what he eats. And when he was starting school at the age of two, I was determined that he would not eat food from school because I didn’t know what else he would react to and I won’t be there. So, I decided that I will be the one to be giving him his food, taking the food to him and that was what started the school lunch which I started posting on Instagram and then people started asking “Can you drop school lunch menu for my children for me, help me, I really need this” and then I created the school lunch menu E-book. From there, things just suddenly exploded, which is why I say it was becoming a mother that set me on this path.
Can you tell us about turning your passion into profit?
I think this is something I’m still growing in. I’m actually someone who tends to downplay the effect of money. But money is actually very important, there are a lot of things you cannot achieve without money. My husband is the one that is really helping me put a value on the things that I produce, the things I do. He also lets me know that I’m giving value. He says, “It’s not something you give for free because you don’t cast pearls before swines. Sorry to use that term but the truth of the matter is that if you make certain things free, there are people who don’t need it who will take advantage of it. But when you place a value on it, no matter how small it is – it doesn’t have to be expensive – it pays you. You’re in a better position to help people who don’t have and it will also make sure that it is people who value what you’re bringing that will have access to it. This is because, if someone is not willing to pay to get what you’re bringing, it’s simply because they do not value it”.
So, the number one thing I’ll say about turning your passion into profit is that you need to start Charging.
What is your style? What is your beauty routine
I’m actually the wrongest person for you to ask this question because I don’t have a beauty routine at all. If there is one thing I have absolutely no skill or talent in, it’s beauty. My husband buys my clothes, he buys my shoes. He actually has to do that because if I take money that I’m going shopping for clothes, you can be sure I’m not coming back with any clothes. I’ll buy kitchen gadgets instead. So he has taken it upon himself to buy my clothes and he’s also my fashion adviser. So, that’s my beauty routine – My husband.
What support system do you have and how do you manage your business with raising a family? Is your husband a hands on dad?
Yes, my husband is a 100 percent hands on dad. He is actually the one that does our sons homework with him, has the teacher’s number and he is the one that knows everything going on in his school. He is more hands on that way. I am more hands on at home, talk with him (my son) and teach him things and play with him. I think we both have a pretty good balance that way. We bath him together, read bible stories to him, teach him things – we basically parent him together.
My husband is actually a very hands on dad when it comes to the home front too. I usually tell people that I’m a pampered wife and it’s true. Basically, the only thing I do is to cook. I have people who clean and wash. I can’t remember the last time I washed clothes. We have a washing machine and I don’t even load it. My husband handles that. I have very strong support and a lot of people around me who come in to help me on a daily basis; including going to the market for me.
I always tell people that they need to accept help. You can’t do it all alone. If I was to be doing all this all by myself, I will have been frustrated and LagosHouseWife will not be wheere it is right now. I also have a very strong support system emotionally. My friends, husband and family are all people who help me with different things.
How do you keep your marriage exciting?
My husband is my best friend and I am his best friend. That’s just the God honest truth. We talk about everything, we gist, we gossip, we do tatafo. We make fun of each other, we make fun of other people between ourselves. We make business plans together, we build things together. Infact, the rate we talk, I’ve had friends come to my house and one person actually said we don’t behave like husband and wife, we behave like friends. That cracked me up. Are husband and wife not supposed to be friends? But that’s the level of freedom that is between us. We can literally tell each other anything, play together and work together. We run LagosHouseWife together as well as our family business and basically do everything together.
Here’s the God honest truth, both of us will rather be with each other than with any other person. That’s why people call us introverts because we hardly go out to socialize that much. We are each other’s company. Any holiday we go on that the three of us are not together is not considered a holiday. The three of us are basically a team.
When people say they need a break from being a mother, from parenting or that they need me-time, I sincerely can’t relate because I never ever feel that. I usually just keep quiet when people are saying that because I don’t know what to say and I’m not after anybody feeling bad about that. People are different and this is my own different. It’s my own “happy”. My me-time is time spent with my family.
Apart from communication, we do a lot of silly things together, we cook together too, we also keep our sex life fun and active. Even in public, if we’re not sitting together, we’re constantly chatting with each other to gist about the interesting things happening around us. I could be like “guess what I’m thinking about right now” and he goes “I know what you’re thinking about, you have a dirty mind”. And I’m like “No be you spoil me”. Things like that keep a marriage fun and exciting.
#Worklifebalance or #Worklifeblend which do you choose? – Is it possible to have it all?
I think I’ll choose a #worklifeblend because the truth is that my work is my life, it’s my home. I’m so fortunate to be able to work at something that is my day-to-day life. That is what LagosHouseWife is all about. So, I’ll have to say that my work and my life are solidly blended, they are the same. I can’t separate the two.
I 100% believe it’s possible to have it all. Here’s the thing, you cannot have it all at once every time. There are some days you’ll give more time to your family, there are some days you’ll give more time to your business and there are some days you’ll give more time to yourself. At the end of the day, it’s the sum total that matters and the sum total is that you’ve actually enjoyed every aspect of your life.
Another thing is that you can’t have it all without accepting help. You need help just like I have a very strong support system around me. You need a strong support system. I do believe it’s possible to have it all.
What you would advise a Mum who is trying to balance motherhood and business?
The first thing is that you need to stop feeling guilty. Okay, that’s like telling you to stop breathing. We will always feel guilty, but try to minimize the guilt. Secondly, you can do it. There are some days you will feel as if you can’t do it but those are just bumps in the road and it’s a really fulfilling road. So, don’t let all those bumps that come up once in a while discourage you. Thirdly, accept help, you can’t do it all alone. That’s what I’ll tell every mother trying to balance motherhood and business.
How do you use Digital Media/Social media to grow your business? Can you give 3 tips to be successful online?
Actually, my business was fully grown on social media. It gave me the publicity that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. The truth of the matter is that most of my target audience/market are not even in my vicinity, they are people I was able to reach online, on social media. Here are my three tips to be successful online.
1, Watch your character – your integrity. Your character is what people will respond to the most. For your character and personality, please be honest, be diligent and be hardworking.
2, Be consistent. Consistency is key. Ensure that your character, integrity and every other thing you do or portray are consistent.
3, Be patient. I’ve had someone come to me saying “How will I grow my business, I started my business and things are not moving”. I was wondering what the issue was, so I went to her page and I discovered that she just started two weeks before that time. And I had to ask if she just opened the page or both the business and page are quite new. She responded that she started both two weeks before that time. I was flabbergasted, just two weeks! Please, there’s nothing like overnight success. It is months of work. Some people might be fortunate to have people who will boost them up but two weeks is too small to start complaining that you’re not succeeding. Be patient! Every good thing requires time.
[Tweet “my business was fully grown on social media”]
What has surprised you the most about motherhood – any myths versus facts?
For me, it’s the fluctuating emotions. One minute, you’re so stressed, you feel like screaming the house down, and then the next minute, your child does something cute and everything is forgotten just like that. You just have this smile on your face and you’re like “that’s so sweet”. Really that’s the one thing that surprises me the most.
Then there’s when my baby is ill and I’m just so down, then the next minute, the fever breaks and he wants to eat, suddenly, everything is right with my world again – the sun is shining again. Those things really throw me off balance. Really, those are the things that surprise me the most about motherhood.
How do you relax? What do you do for “me-time”?
As I said earlier, me-time is with me and my family. We take time out. Sometimes we just go to hotels for the weekend. We eat, have fun, drive around, see fun sites, go swimming etc. That’s how I relax. Then to relax at home, I read a lot of novels – fiction to be precise. I love reading. Then I watch TV a lot. Even when I’m cooking, I have the TV on and I’m constantly keeping my eye on it. I love watching cooking shows, I love watching series, I love watching African Magic Yoruba. Those are the things I watch a lot too.
What is one thing that shouldn’t be missing from every home?
I’ll have to say it’s God. How we keep him present in every home, is that we need to make the conscious effort of having a family altar, spend time praying, spend time teaching your children about God, spend time reading the Bible, spend time speaking to God. Throughout the day, spend time thanking God. Even if it’s just to mention the name of Jesus, it has a way of redirecting your focus on God. So. Every home should have God. He’s the most important thing in the whole wide world. When you have him you have everything you need.
What makes LagosMums special?
I think what you’re doing for mothers is amazing. The way you bring mothers together is amazing. Like people who help mothers because I fervently believe that mothers are the centre of the family and families are the centre of a nation. If we can get mothers right, we will get families right and if families are right, the nation is automatically right. It’s a spiral effect that starts with mothers. That is what makes LagosMums special. What you’re doing for mums – teaching them, helping them, providing a platform for them to get their lives together in order to make being a mother not as difficult as we think it is. That’s what makes LagosMums ultra special.
Welldone and thank you for all you’re doing. We really appreciate you. May God bless and increase you. Amen!
We enjoyed talking to our mum of the month. Follow @LagosHouseWife on Instagram and visit her website.
