Contributed by Tomilayo Aluko
This is a rant and a note to mums on small minded nannies and entitled children, but I will try to be constructive.
The fabulous lives we live in Lagos with all its luxuries and indulgences seems to be causing more harm than good on how we are raising our children.
We have children and then leave them to be raised by nannies due to our ever so busy and fabulous lives. But do we bother ensuring that we have shown these nannies the values we want our children to have? If your nanny spends more time with your children than you isn’t it important to ensure that they have a good understanding of how you want your children to be raised?
I am quite sick and tired of watching nannies with other people’s children instilling their own values and reinforcing their own beliefs. I want to assume no mother (of good upbringing) wants to raise a self entitled brat!! A child is throwing a tantrum at a party and the nanny is appealing on behalf of the child as opposed to correcting or ignoring the child. The nannies are the ones reminding the children to ask for party packs or even being bold enough to ask themselves. Nannies sitting in corners, eating and catching up on gist as the children they are supposed to be watching fall, cry, misbehave etc
Nannies are becoming the bane of my existence. Saying this I must admit that I have a wonderful team in my home. My nannies may not be perfect but they are definitely part of the very small percentage that carry themselves well and tend not to misbehave in public. (Please feel free to challenge me and bring to my attention if you contest this).
I was at a party last week and became highly irritated by the way most of the nannies conducted themselves. Mothers, they are your staff and they take your children out which ultimately means they represent who you are and what you stand for.
Plus our children are picking up really bad habits from them and getting further indulged!!! These nannies are extremely rude to other parents, they are unnecessarily competitive (pushing children in games and screaming the loudest for party favours etc), they are disruptive and have no sense to allow the children just be children. They police them and strip them of their independence but are negligent when they are actually needed. They use them as pawns to beg for extra food but don’t even ensure the children have eaten. I am so tired of seeing this over and over and over again.
A few parents and I start discussing at this party and the views were very interesting. Some said its the nannies we hire now, they are too exposed to our fake lives and imitate it poorly, they all agree that nannies are just acting the way their “madams” act… I honestly want to argue that it isn’t so but fellow mothers keep showing themselves on many occasions to buttress the points raised.
Yes you are cool and funky, yes you have the money and can afford two nannies per child, yes your child is the only special one and therefore deserves only “yes” never “no”. Yes you want to raise the posh, cool kids who always have the best. But can I put it to you that you are raising entitled children? Yes you heard me! You are doing more harm than good. Raising entitled children, reinforced by small minded nannies who take on your attitude when you are not there.
Staff (read Nannies) pick up the culture of the places of employment. They do as they see, because their backgrounds are usually not the best, they are quick to pick up our own habits and imitate poorly or too much. We need to train them as we want them to behave both for our own image but more importantly for our children.
photo source: pintrest, qz