Chimamanda Adichie; in Dear Ijeawele, Or A Feminist Manifesto In Fifteen Suggestions a book borne out of a letter she had written to a friend who, after having her own baby girl, asked for advice on how to raise her to be feminist, touched on this.
Feminism has been misconstrued to mean one too many things that undermine the real reason why the movement even exists. Day after day, we as women, fight for a more equal society; one where a woman is treated as an equal to the men around her. Hence, it is definitely a big deal figuring out how to raise our girls not to only chant the word “feminist” and be moved by the misusers of the word, but to also understand the essence of gender parity and fight for its actualization.
In an interview done on this book, we get a few useful nuggets on how to raise our daughters;
Be careful with language. Never say “because you are a girl” to them, avoid gendered toys and encourage reading. Also, do not treat marriage as an achievement and reject likability.
“Her job is not to make herself likable, her job is to be her full self”
We are not to control children, but to give them the ability to truly grow to be self aware. Our efforts should be focused on teaching them to question things that undermine the equality of sexes, things that do not promote women being treated as equal human beings, because in that way they come to learn and create their own opinions.
And for us mothers and mothers-to-be; it’s important to not fool people. To not be defined by motherhood solely but by the many hats we have on and the variety of dreams and aspirations and careers we pursue. To reject the idea that motherhood and work are mutually exclusive.
Very importantly; ask for help and expect to be helped. There is no such thing as a Superwoman, parenting is about practice – and love. Give yourself room to fail, however also, read books and look things up on the internet, ask older parents, or just use trial and error. But, above all, take time for yourself. Nurture your own needs.
What are your thoughts on this?
