It’s been happening a lot to me recently. I don’t know if there is something written on my head about it or I’m giving off a certain ‘aroma’ that alerts people to it. But I keep getting asked, by complete strangers and even people that know me well,
“How do you DO all that?!”
I guess they are asking “How do you do the motherhood thing at the same time as the wife thing and then the business thing and every now and again the volunteering on a committee or baking cakes for the school party thing”.
I can answer the last question easily: I don’t! If I bring anything baked, cooked or grilled that is for public consumption, you can safely assume that it came courtesy of Marks & Spencers’ Food Range. It came in a packet. I may take it out of the packet and put it in a nice bowl, but I have no time to be adding sprigs of parsley or dustings of caster sugar to make it look homemade. It wasn’t and there ain’t no shame in admitting it.
Now the previous questions? How do I do all that other stuff? Mmmm, well that’s much harder to answer. And I guess that’s why so many people have been asking me that question. They’ve not just been asking me though. At the Mother & Child Expo that Tiger Lily was part of at the end of May, a lady in the audience asked a panel member to advise her on how she should juggle motherhood, having a job, looking after the house, being a wife and all the other demands on her time and sanity. Whenever a woman who is doing well in her chosen profession is interviewed, you can bet in no time at all she will be asked, “How do you DO it? How can you have it all?” Check out these inspiring ladies who certainly seem to have it all sussed.
Folorunsho Alakija, 63. One of the richest women in Africa.
From establishing her own highly successful tailoring company, Supreme Stitches, Alakija went on to win an oil prospecting license that granted her a lucrative block in Nigeria’s coastal waters. Famfa Oil, which she controls, pumps about 200,000 barrels a day. In 2008, Alakija founded The Rose of Sharon Foundation, which works to help widows and orphans. And in 2013, she was appointed the vice chair of Nigeria’s National Heritage Council and Endowment for the Arts. Married with 4 children.
Susan Wojcicki, 45. CEO, YouTube, Google.
Believe it or not but Google started in her Menlo Park garage! Wojcicki is now CEO of the world’s largest video platform, having championed Google’s $1.65 billion acquisition of YouTube. YouTube is currently valued at some $20 billion with projected revenues of $5.6 billion, up about 51% from last year. Married with 4 children.
Indra Nooyi, 58. CEO, PepsiCo.
Despite a global decline in the consumption of sugary drinks, PepsiCo’s shares have increased 3.1% while the S&P 500 Index added less than 1%. In 2013, PepsiCo products accounted for nine of the top 50 new food and beverage introductions in the U.S. Married with 2 children.
Michelle Obama, 50. First lady, United States.
The Harvard grad and former corporate attorney (she was Barack Obama’s boss) actively uses her platform as first lady to fight childhood obesity and promote healthier eating and lifestyles. With approval ratings at 66%, she’s more popular than her husband by far (44%). Obama is extremely visible globally, taking trips abroad with and without her husband to forward her causes. Married with 2 children.
Christine Lagarde, 58. Managing director, International Monetary Fund.
Lagarde is the first woman to run the 188-country financial organization. She has spent much of her first three years in crisis mode, most recently dealing with escalating tensions in Ukraine and approving a $17 billion loan for the country in April. She is a powerful advocate for women in the workforce. French-born Lagarde was a labour and antitrust attorney in the U.S. before doing a six-year stint as French finance minister. Single with 2 children.
Angelina Jolie, 38. Actress, Philanthropist.
With $33 million in earnings last year, Angelina Jolie is the highest paid actress in Hollywood. But Jolie’s real power base comes from her multifaceted ambitions – as an artist, activist and philanthropist. A UN special envoy for refugees, Jolie uses the red carpet as her pulpit; calling for hard-line punishment for the Islamic kidnappers who abducted more than 300 Nigerian schoolgirls. Jolie sparked widespread discussion last year when she chose to undergo a voluntary double mastectomy after learning she was a carrier of the breast cancer gene. Engaged with 6 children.
So how do they do it? We all want to know. Even actress Gwyneth Paltrow – who earns a fair sum and has access to a whole entourage of nannies, nutritionists, personal trainers, chefs, cleaners and who knows what else – wonders how it can be done. The 41-year-old mother of Apple, aged nine, and seven-year-old Moses says she is caught between a rock and a hard place. The rock, in this case, is appearing in Hollywood blockbusters and being away for days at a time and the hard place is staying at home with the kids and, supposedly, tending the macrobiotic veg patch.
“If I miss a school run, they (my children) are like, ‘Where were you?’”
I don’t for a minute forget that men nowadays feel similar pressures to women on balancing fatherhood and their careers. On the one hand they want to be there to cheer their sons on the football pitch or use the most high tech piece of equipment to capture their daughter lisp “O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree” at the school nativity play. But work demands might mean they are constantly flying around the world, working late into the night or are permanently ‘on call’ at work.
A comment made by Angelina Joile provided some clue as to how über‑successful women make it work.
“I feel that women in my position, when we have all at our disposal to help us, shouldn’t complain. I’m not a single mom with two jobs trying to get by every day. I have much more support than most people, most women in this world. And I have the financial means to have a home and health care and food.”
Don’t be fooled into thinking the answer is throwing money at the situation. Even with all the paid support and financial freedom, Joile still has six children (a heavy motherhood responsibility), a fiancé (a relationship that requires nurturing), a new movie to promote (a punishing work schedule), a UN Special Envoyship (an emotionally and physically demanding extra-curricular activity), and political ambitions (a complex and challenging life goal). Also, lets not forget that she may be rich now, but it took lots of hard work to get to this point where she could afford the support.
The next time someone asks me, “How do you DO all that?” I think I have figured out what I will say. The key to ‘having it all’ is having the right attitude to whatever cards you have been dealt by life and the various aspects of your life you need to juggle.
- Dream BIG goals that excite you and drive you to do the extraordinary;
- Recognise the challenges because denial is pointless and ignorance can be dangerous;
- Determine what you have to do to manage the challenges so as to achieve your goals;
- Don’t let the small things and petty people get you down:
- ‘Set your face like a flint’ (biblical reference!); and just
- Get on with it.
No whinging, whining, feeling sorry for yourself or giving in to unnecessary guilt or self-doubt. And if it means rocking up at the school party with store-brought cakes, so what? After all, Mr. Kipling DOES make exceedingly good cakes!
Written by Tiger Lily.
Tiger Lily Children’s Wear is a mail-order and online retailer for clothes, shoes and accessories for young children to young adults in Nigeria. Our T. Lily brand caters for young children (up to 12 years) and our Friends brand is aimed at teens and young adults. Both brands deliver stylish clothes, made well and sold at sensible prices.
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