So you are a parent? Congratulations!! You have a child or children and you are doing your best to raise them. Do you have parenting goals? There are some natural expectations at different milestones, a baby will evolve from breastfeeding to eating semi-solids, then you expect her to start crawling and finally to start trying to walk.
Somethings are as natural as nature – such as the sucking reflex that a baby comes with. Babies do not have to be taught how to suckle, they naturally latch on and are either breastfed or bottle fed. However there are many other things that fall under nurture. These are the areas you really have to be able to identify, verbalise and visualise what your parenting goal is.
Take sometime and think about what your parenting goal is, what kind of adults do you want to raise? Do you know what that type of adult should look like? can you visualise it? Would you say your goal is to raise an engineer? Or is to raise a happy adult? Or a God-fearing one? Pause and take the time to think about it.
LagosMums Top 5 Parenting Goal Characteristics
- Independent – Raising an independent adult is top of my list. To raise an independent adult starts from raising an independent child from a very young age. Many adults who are very independent today, confident and are resourceful can trace it back to their childhood. They were the ones who you will hear had responsibilities such as chores or started working at a young age. Some of the ways to ensure you are raising an independent child is to think about giving them responsibilities. I recommend for one, start by assigning age appropriate chores. Try to implement the guiding rule of not doing for your child what he can do for himself. [Read: Age Appropriate Chores]
- God-Fearing – Raising a God-fearing adult is very important to me and to do that I know it has to start when they are young children. So from a young age let them understand that there is a higher power who created the world. God carefully created them from the womb and knows them by name. To be God fearing they have to know God and build a relationship with him. Some practical ways is for them to start the day praying and end the day praying, you should also model your relationship with God for them to see on a daily basis.
- Kind – Raising children who are kind is important and the easiest way to work on this is to teach them to watch their speech and how they treat people. Is what they are saying kind and thoughtful? Get them to think if they are encouraging, are they building up or tearing down. They should understand that there is power in words. They note how you treat people around them as well so model what you are teaching.
- Honest – Raising an honest adult does not happen overnight. Start when they are young. First of all have the “no secret” rule in your house and in your communications. Be able to have open dialogue with your child. Children learn the most from you, their parent, so watch what you say. Do not lie around them because then you signal that lying is ok. For example do you say “tell Aunty I am sleeping” just because you do not want to see the guest who just showed up? Not very honest mum!
- Integrity – What is integrity? It is living by your word, what you say you will do is what you will do. Children learn most from their parents so when you say you will do something, do it. If for any reason you cannot do what you said you should discuss that with them and let them understand. Encourage children and hold them to a high standard of doing the things they said they will do.
What are some of your parenting goals?