Our Lagosmums mum of the month is Jayne A. She is a mum to wonderful triplet daughters and an amazing wife to her husband. She is a career mum, a mum-blogger and founder of Fabmum and so much more; as she wears so many hats we can’t keep up with this super triplet mum. Read more about this amazing mum as she shares her passions and her motherhood experience so far.
Please tell us about yourself?
I’m a career mum. I have a set of triplets who mean the world to me, I’m married to my best friend, and I live and work in Lagos. I have worked in different sectors over the last 14 years; they range from the media to marketing and sales. I did have a stint in broadcasting and I’ve also worked in advertising, but my first love remains the media. I currently work as an editor at a leading Nigerian Media House, and aside from that, most people know me as a mom blogger and founder of fabmumng which is a parenting and lifestyle resource site for mums.
Share one unexpected thing about you?
I think I have a wicked sense of humor, most of my friends call me a closet comedian because when I’m with them, they say I make them laugh; so maybe in my other life, I should consider comedy but besides that I love fashion. My weak point is shoes, I’m a shoeaholic; recently, I began to fall more in love with wigs, I did cut my hair early this year. So basically that is me in a nutshell; I’m very simple.
Can you share all the hats/roles that you wear?
I’m a wife, a mom, a sister, a friend. I am a career mom, and a mumpreneur because asides from fabmumng, I also do a bit of consultancy here and there, and then my friend and I also run a content marketing agency, from Lagos here in Nigeria. So that’s all the hats I wear.
Tell us about your beautiful family.
We are a very close-knit family, my triplets are all girls so I have three daughters. So my husband is the only man in a house of four women. The birth of my triplets was a miracle because before we did have them we waited for almost two years, and when we eventually had them, they came on my wedding anniversary. And so their birthday is always a joyful celebration in my home; they were born on April 16 and they are seven. I’ll just say their births were divine because we didn’t know we were having triplets, up until six months. Before we did find out I what I love to call an ultrasound scan junkie; every other week I would get scanned, I remember my husband gets frustrated.
So this day, we went, we checked, lo and behold, we found that we are having triplets. But before then, all the while the scan has been picking up one child; so it was indeed a pleasant surprise, and rather shocking as well. I remember when the sonographer told my husband and me that we are having triplets; as I speak to you now, I can remember how our jaws dropped, and then then the roller coaster journey began. And looking back, I’m thankful, it’s not been easy because raising multiple children, especially when they are your first can be very challenging but we’ve been pushing it and taking it one day at a time, and we’re thankful that the children are in good health, and I am also in good health.
How was your pregnancy journey?
My pregnancy journey was really tough. I think this is one of the reasons why, aside from the fact that we are a complete family of five, I do not want to have any other kids; and if I really would love to in the future maybe I would adopt. The pregnancy journey was tough because, for the last three months, I was on compulsory bed rest first at home and then at the hospital. I did have a C-Section because I was having multiple births; my husband was with me in the theatre, and he recorded the birth of our daughters.
The scan was unable to pick out the sex of the third child because she was facedown throughout the pregnancy so we just assumed since the others are girls, maybe this will be a boy so we just bought a few blue things, for boys. On the day of the delivery, we found out that she was a girl as well and we’re thankful for our little family. I was very upbeat and excited about the whole pregnancy journey. Once in a while when fear tries to creep in, the devil wants to put a lot of fear in me, so I recite a lot of affirmations, I pray, I watch a lot of comedy films; one thing I didn’t do while I was pregnant was watching so many pregnancy videos.
How was the birth of your triplets?
Unlike now, we didn’t really have many resources that covered the pregnancy and birth of triplets. I remember then, hooking up with some woman in the US who I found had a set of triplets. Then it was Facebook so I did chat her on Facebook and we became friends. She encouraged me, shared some tips, which also helped me.
So like I did say I was upbeat but when I entered the labor room, and I saw all the equipment, fear gripped me; even though my husband was there. I remember the anesthetist telling me that my blood pressure had shot up, and if I don’t control it, they won’t be able to undergo the C section. So they did a lot of cajoling, and it took me almost one hour to calm down and the CS went on and it was successful. I was numb from my belly downward so I couldn’t feel any pain, but I could feel the tugging of the doctors expanding the belly to bring out the babies.
After pregnancy was over, recovery was the next big thing. If you’ve ever undergone a C section, you’ll know that recovery can be tough. My first few months, my God, they were tough. I had a full house my grandmom was there, my mom, my sister-in-law; I had three nannies. The first few weeks, I was sleep-deprived. I remember my mom sometimes will take the babies and ask me to get some sleep; but how do you sleep when you’re in another room and you hear your babies crying. But I think what really helped me was my support system; I have a great support system in my husband, my mom, my late grandmother, God bless her soul, and my in-laws, and of course nannies; so all hands on deck.
I had lactation issues, I did find out that if you undergo a C-section, you do not lactate. I think it was just two or three days to delivery, that the nurses came and showed me how to latch and breastfeed, nobody really prepared me for breastfeeding. So I think moms who are having their babies today are very lucky; I consider them privileged because aside from the plethora of platforms that we have, we now have lactation experts; I mean back then, talking about seven years ago, who knew about that? Nobody.
Is your husband a hands-on dad?
Every day I say a prayer for my husband because he’s God-sent; I always that God specially created him for me, because aside from being a supportive spouse who gives me wings to fly, he’s also a hands-on dad. Sometimes I look at my daughters and I’m so jealous because he’s that involved. My husband is the disciplinarian of the home; I’m also a little bit of a disciplinarian, but at the same time, I’m not as strict as he is. But underneath the whole tough guy, my husband is very soft and he doesn’t joke with his daughters.
He’s super involved in their homework; that’s one responsibility he does not outsource. Once in a while I step in, but he takes care of the homework; he does school runs, drops them at school, and occasionally he goes to pick them back. For him, he says that’s his way of bonding with them because he has a busy job. He’s also that father who gathers all of us in the mornings and pray. So if I have all this in a husband, and in the father of my children I consider myself blessed
Are your triplets identical?
My daughters are not identical, but they have a strong semblance because if you see them you will know they are siblings. So they are not identical and I’m thankful for that because they also have different personalities, which makes it all the same, very interesting and fun.
How has the pandemic affected you? Both professionally and personally
For every other couple and person, the pandemic affected us in more ways than one but I think it brought us closer. It made us appreciate the value of friendship because that’s what will keep the husband and wife going when you’re stuck with each other, we don’t get bored. And I think we understood ourselves better because we began to see some other sides of ourselves that are not too good and are good. Of course, it also helped us rethink the dynamics and structure of our family; it also helped us build new routines.
What has shocked you the most about Motherhood?
What shocked me most about motherhood I think, is the fact that you can love someone else, almost more than yourself. And the fact that you can’t make decisions for yourself without thinking of your children. I think those are the two things that shocked me about motherhood. What also surprised me about motherhood is the fact that, as a mom, you do not know how much strength you have up until you become a mom. And aside from that, you don’t really know how strong you are, until something happens.
Let me use myself as an example, when we found out that we were expecting triplets, my husband was worried; worried because he didn’t think I was that strong, he sees me as this softy. His fear was how I that had a very low pain threshold and don’t really like stress; how would I carry that triplet pregnancy. But believe me, I think carrying a triplet pregnancy, made me know how much strength I have deep inside of me that I never knew existed. So I think that is what happens when you are a mom; sometimes, as a mom, you just have to be strong for your children, no matter how fragile you look, that strength will come.
Can you tell us some of the funniest things your children have done?
My children never fail to amuse me every day. but I think aside from all the naughty and dandy things they say, some of the funniest things I see them do is mimic me; and it just goes to confirm the fact that your children are watching you. They’re watching your actions, and they’re paying attention to your inactions much more than what you say, or ask them to do. So I see my daughters mimicking how I speak, how I answer my phone calls, sometimes they don’t know I’m watching them. They come to my room, my dressing mirror, I see them try on my wigs, clothes, makeup; sometimes they mimic how I do my Instagram lives and it’s so amazing how much our children are watching us.
So it just goes to remind us of the fact that our children are watching every move; so we need to be very intentional to model the right things for them to copy.
What’s one thing you think your parents got absolutely right raising you that you would like to pass on as you bring up your children?
I am forever grateful to my parents for raising me to be very content and for putting the fear of God in me. And those two things, I’m definitely passing it on to my daughters, because I feel contentment will prevent so many things from happening; if you’re content, you can’t be greedy, covetous, scamming people, think of living above your means; you will not envy other people or what they have. And if you are content you will work hard. And the fear of God has sort of controlled my life in a way and made me not do some things I would have wanted to do. So, definitely bringing my daughters in the way of the Lord, teaching them contentment, are two virtues I’m definitely passing over to them.
How do you balance work and parenting?
I balance work and parenting by planning. I’m a planner by nature and so it makes a whole lot of sense; that’s one of the reasons why I created the fabmum planner to help mums, so I plan. I’m a planning junkie.
Aside from that, I have a great support system like I did say earlier in my husband and my mom. Coincidentally, my mum lives just three streets away from me. So for days when I have to work overtime, and my husband is not around, my mom can sometimes help me with the school runs or I ask the school bus to drop the children over at her place. And sometimes when I need her to come to spend some time here with me she does that though I also have a nanny, though a live-out nanny now because my daughters are much grown. So for me, it’s planning, and a great support system, and taking life basically one day at a time.
How important is a support system for a mum? Who is in your Tribe?
A support system is a live wire for every mom. Having a support system as a mum is non-negotiable. That support system can be in any form, it can be your spouse, your neighbor, best friend, colleagues, that understanding boss, your office assistant, your child’s school bus driver, your nanny, and so many other forms. So it’s important for mums to have a support system, so that they can thrive and so that you can fly.
I have a good support system in my husband, my mum, a few good friends.
Use one word to describe one thing that should not be missing from every home?
One thing that should not be missing from any home is LOVE. Love from the children from the parents to the children because when you raise children in an atmosphere of love, they become wholesome and because love covers a multitude of things, the atmosphere will always be fun.
Share one self-care tip. How do you relax and spend time on yourself?
A self-care tip I give every mum is rest. Ask for help and accept help, don’t try to do it all. I’m big on self-care. One of the ways I take care of myself is making my nails and facials once a month, and once in six months, I try to do a massage, I’m not so religious when it comes to that; so for me, that’s how I take care of myself. I also go out with friends; we pre-plan dates, I’m a foodie, so most of the time, my friends and I go restaurant hopping. My husband and I, see a movie, so I try to take things one day at a time.
And no matter what I’m doing, if I feel tired, especially when I’m home, I try to rest, and my husband understands this. So sometimes he will be like”Go and rest I’ll take care of the kids”. So when he’s also tired, I take over as well; because he understands the importance of rest and self-care for moms. Even when my daughters want to disturb me when I’m sleeping, he’ll ask me to shut the door and lock it from inside.
Can you tell us how you stay stylish and your beauty routine?
I don’t really consider myself a stylist, but I try. I’m a shoeaholic and an unrepentant one. I love shoes, recently I fell in love with wigs. Beauty routine? None, I did recently get a cleanser, a toner, and a complexion soap; I don’t joke with my body cream, but I don’t really have a strict beauty regimen. I try to eat healthily, but as a foodie sometimes it can be hard, I try to keep fit, but I wouldn’t lie and say, I’m a fitness freak, obviously not. So that’s just me in a nutshell, for fashion I love comfortable outfits I don’t follow trends.
Recently, I began a wardrobe overhaul and started infusing a lot more colors in my clothes selection like pink my favorite color, and orange. I love blazers, I love a structured gown, and I love skirts.
What do you love about LagosMums?
I love LagosMums for the consistency and it is not easy to be in this industry; as one who is also in this industry. I know that you need to be self-motivated and consistency is what I really love about LagosMums. And of course all the parenting tips, and most recently, all the digital and Internet safety tips they share with mums and their families.
N1million or more sleep?
Go on a shopping spree or an all-expenses-paid trip to your top destination?
Please can I pick both of them?
Home-schooling or traditional school?
Traditional school, please.
A spa day or Eat out?
Eat out, and then Spa day; can I take both?
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