Diary Adventures of LagosMums: DALM | Motherhood Unplugged: No wonder Mums are stressed
I recently got an email with an advertisement for Soulful Wisdom cards; Cards for Women Who Do Too Much. It was like a Motherhood Unplugged cry and no wonder mums are stressed. We attempt to do much more than might
ever be achievable and then feel guilty about not being able to live up to this ideal.
The advert for these cards came with a quote from Barbara Corcoran, Shark Tank reminding women to take that much-needed break we often forget we need.
We all generally agree that motherhood is demanding, but on the other hand, we just expect to get on with it. Modern motherhood is exponentially more demanding than it used to be in the past. Read through some of the reasons to take a break, and you will agree that no wonder mums are stressed. Living in today’s fast-paced world is draining.
Women are working harder than ever to keep up with unrealistic expectations.
- Break the glass ceiling. For women to break the glass ceiling, we believe that we have to prove ourselves and prove that we can do it all. So we work harder and put in overtime if need be and more.
- Keep your house Pinterest worthy. Social media makes it appear that every home is in perfect order! colour coordinated and well Pinterest or Instagram worthy. Motherhood unplugged tip: every picture you see online is not necessarily reality! Very few people would take a picture of a messy house and tag it #MotherhoodUnplugged #MyRealHouse
- Organize your family’s schedule. Everyone is busy and we all seem to need to do a million things that all seem equally important. Mum is planning her schedule, the baby, teenager, spouse and dog!
- Cook meals from scratch every day. The fast life coupled with fast food wave has caused many unhealthy habits. More people are about being organic and making meals from scratch.
- Volunteer and make the world a better place. Yup, there is a higher expectation to give back and to have a cause you support.
- Dress for success. Well, I don’t know what to say about this one! Except that the #YummyMummy movement is real.
- Lose that baby weight. Ahem! the pressure on this one, the snapback, the pre-baby size magic pill we all line up to buy.
- Smile at all times. While this might be unrealistic, we do control our attitude to everything we face.
What about society or other self-care expectations.
- Workout every day.
- Get 8 hours of sleep every night.
- Work on your hobby.
- Meditate an hour every day.
- Have regular date nights with your partner.
- Get a massage weekly.
- Take a soaking bath nightly.
- this list goes on and on.
Who has the time for all of that?
We have not talked about the other demands that come with the family, children’s play dates, birthday parties, work-life balance pursuit, social activities, hanging out with friends, keeping your relationships healthy, spending endless hours on social media scrolling through feeds and so much more.
It is easy to get caught up with ours and everyone else’s expectations. We lose sight of what’s actually important: your sense of inner peace. Without peace, you cannot achieve anything. When you add the guilt that moves in, it makes mums who are struggling to achieve it all feel even worse.
Mums we need to take a break, prioritize self-care and know what we say Yes to? Realise we are not superwomen and that something does have to give. In reality as mums, when we try to juggle too many balls; we end up dropping a few of them.
For some ideas on how to manage read The Busy Mum Hacks
Whatever you need to do, that helps you through it all, just remember to relax!