In today’s world, raising emotionally intelligent and body-aware children is more important than ever. For many parents, the thought of discussing sexuality with children can feel uncomfortable, especially if they were raised in a home where the topic was considered taboo.
But open, age-appropriate conversations about sexuality help children develop a healthy sense of identity, safety, and respect for themselves and others. Whether you’re parenting a curious toddler or a teen navigating puberty, here are practical, culturally-sensitive tips to guide you through these important talks.
1. Celebrate Their Curiosity
When your child asks a question about their body, relationships, or how babies are made, respond with encouragement. Try saying, “I’m really glad you asked me that.” Avoid brushing it off with responses like “You’re too young to know” or “We’ll talk about it later.”
If your child feels safe asking questions now, they’re more likely to come to you later about more serious issues, like peer pressure, consent, or relationships.
2. Start the Conversation – Don’t Wait
Many parents wait for their children to bring up the topic of sex or sexuality. But the truth is, some children may never ask, especially if they sense the topic is uncomfortable for you.
Just like you wouldn’t wait for your child to ask about safety, spirituality, or moral values, you shouldn’t wait to talk about sexuality either. Introduce the topic early, using age-appropriate language, and build on it as your child grows.
3. Be Honest and Open
It’s perfectly okay if you don’t know all the answers. You can say, “That’s a great question. I’m not sure, but let’s find out together.” This approach shows your child that sexuality is something you can explore and learn about in a safe, respectful way.
If you ever discover you gave wrong information, don’t shy away from correcting it. It’s a powerful lesson in humility and truthfulness.
4. Acknowledge Your Feelings
If you’re feeling awkward, say so. You might say, “Growing up, Grandma didn’t talk to me about this, so it feels a little weird, but I think it’s important we talk about it.”
Being real with your child creates a safe space for honest conversations. Over time, these talks become easier and more natural for both of you.
5. Use Everyday Moments as Teaching Tools
You don’t need to schedule a formal “talk.” Everyday moments offer the best teaching opportunities—a scene in a Nollywood movie, a question during bath time, or a conversation after church youth group.
These natural openings make it easier to share information and your family values in bite-sized, relatable ways.
6. Listen With Empathy
Even if your child’s concerns seem small to you, like a school crush or a question about kissing—take them seriously. Listening attentively now builds the foundation for trust during the teen years, when the stakes get higher.
Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think about that?” or “How did that make you feel?” to encourage honest dialogue.
7. Share Your Family Values Clearly
Facts about reproduction and puberty are important, but your child also needs to understand your family’s values. Whether it’s about abstinence, respect for one’s body, or what healthy relationships look like—these values should come from you, not just from school, friends, or social media.
Think through your core beliefs so you’re ready to share them naturally when the moment arises.
8. Talk to Both Sons and Daughters
In many Nigerian homes, girls get “the talk,” while boys are expected to learn from peers or experience. But boys also need guidance, and it should come from their parents.
Both mothers and fathers should be involved in these conversations, whether you’re talking to sons, daughters, or both. When children see men and women openly discussing sexuality, it prepares them for balanced, respectful adult relationships.
9. Highlight the Positive Side of Sexuality
It’s easy to focus only on the risks of sex, unwanted pregnancy, STIs, and peer pressure, but don’t forget to talk about the beauty of healthy, responsible sexuality.
Let your child know that their sexuality is a natural and wonderful part of who they are. Share your values around intimacy, love, and responsibility. This balanced approach helps them develop a healthy, shame-free perspective.
Read Also: Handling Akward Conversations
Final Thoughts
Talking to your child about sexuality isn’t a one-time conversation, it’s a journey. Start early, speak often, and stay open. You don’t have to be perfect—just present.
And remember: by choosing to talk with love, honesty, and intention, you’re giving your child the gift of confidence, safety, and self-respect.
