A good friend sent me a forwarded message on parenting which caught my attention. The first few paragraphs contained common mistakes parents make with children, but what struck me was the accusatory tone which the writer used. The writer made it sound as if parents who made mistakes were just plain lazy. That article sparked a fire in me which birthed my write up on these 10 tips for positive parenting.
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Initially the write-up put me off, but after reading the whole article, I had a second thought, and realised that the writer did mean well. Sometimes, the purest of intentions can get misunderstood, which is why we need to be careful how we pass across our messages. For example, if people sense a judgemental tone, they will most likely shut you off, or become defensive.
Contrary to popular belief (which I also held for a long time), parenting does come with a manual – the Bible. However, we sometimes get it wrong with respect to how to use this manual and more importantly when to start using it.
So here are my 10 tips on positive parenting
1. Begin as soon as the child is born.
Avoid thinking he/she is only a baby. Firmly speak to the child against any behaviour which isn’t positive. Proverbs 3:12
2. Separate the child from the behaviour.
Address the behaviour and face it head on. For example you say ‘Child, what you did is rude and unacceptable.’ not ‘Child you are rude and unacceptable.’ James 3:2
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3. Work hard now and have peace later.
It’s tough to keep correcting; sometimes the behaviour children manifest can leave you feeling shocked, confused and overwhelmed, but always do and say something to correct that behaviour. Ignoring it will only steal your peace later. Hebrews 12:11
4. Pay attention to your child.
No one else can do it better. Put that phone down. Come home early. Make that extra time. 1 Timothy 3:4-5
5. Be confident that you are doing your best;
Keep your focus on your child not the onlookers. You know those ones in church or at the airport..hmm. I am coming for you next! 2 Timothy 1:7
6. Don’t judge!
Simply put, I don’t have to give you reasons why you shouldn’t. Remember let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Philippians 2:3
7. Stay calm
Keep pressing, stand your ground. Keep breathing! Proverbs 25:28
8. Mummy and daddy, please show your children a united front always.
You will not always agree on parenting/discipline styles, but settle these differences behind closed doors always. 1 Corinthians 1:10
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9. Ditch the sweets and embrace fruits and veggies.
Start early. It is doable. Our children’s school has a strict fruits/veggies/yoghurt and water snack time policy. I daresay that is one of the things that endears me to their school. The positive effects are innumerable. I cannot go into them in this article. 1 Corinthians 10:31
10. Stay informed
What you focus on grows. Search for parenting books, the ‘oyinbos’ know what they are saying sometimes…lol. Seriously, check Pinterest for parenting tips, follow blogs, Instagram and Twitter feeds by parenting experts. Have a chat with parenting experts in Nigeria (yes they exist!) Also search for parenting bible plans on the You Version bible app. James 1:5-7
I will leave you with this….Dear Parent, know that you are not alone, we are all in this together and yes we can!!!
Contributor: CoachKoks
